


Endless Midnights

by Anonymous



Series: Baby We're On Fire [1]
Category: That '70s Show
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Future Fic, Kinda, Two canons diverged in a yellow wood, and EVERYTHING IS AWFUL, and i am trying SO HARD, but i haven't even written those yet so it probably won't be as bad as you're thinking, but it'll be an adventure, but not like HEAVY angst, no betas we die like men, there's gonna be a lot of flashbacks, this is my first T7S fanfiction, title may change because i'm indecisive, until the last couple of chapters at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 16:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 54,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14406024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Were they stupid? Of course. Were they terrified? Duh. Were they doing it anyway? Hell yeah.In which Hyde feels guilty about covering for Kelso and Jackie finds out about Laurie much sooner





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is incredibly stupid and self indulgent and not that well researched and done by a 90s kid so let’s go easy on anything anachronistic. (that being said, do feel free to correct me just don’t be an asshole about it)
> 
> Pairings: main - Jackie/Hyde, secondary - Eric/Donna, Red/Kitty
> 
> Warnings: violence, sexual situations, canon typical drug use, mentioned child abuse/neglect, liberal use of the word “fuck” and there’s another warning but it’d spoil something really big to the plot so I’ll just say that it isn’t rape, self injury, or any type of eating disorder. If you are triggered by anything, please send me a message and I will tell you whether your trigger is the spoiler warning. The final warning won’t be for a while, like near the end of the story. Last 5 chapters, if I had to guess.
> 
> Timeline: It’s an AU from season 2 (1977), sometime shortly after Vanstock. The story takes place mostly in 1987 with flashbacks. Jackie is 26 and Hyde is 27. The T7S timeline makes no fucking sense so y’all will just have run with whatever I say.
> 
> Since Point Place is a made up town, any mentioned travel times will based around Location A and Kenosha, WI. Also, I have never been to any of the places I’m writing about. So, yeah.
> 
> Disclaimer: Bitch please

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The road stretches ahead, darker than they had originally planned but no less traveled. Perhaps they should’ve accepted it after the first pit stop, the fourth pit stop, the  _seventh_ pit stop, that they were going to procrastinate their trip until well into the night, but the two had somehow managed to convince themselves that they would arrive at a decent hour, a time when sweet old women are still fluttering around the kitchen and grumpy old men won’t threaten to kill them.

The stars are bright. The moon is full. The streetlights shine on his rings, his watch, his tattoos, on and off and on and off. He looks at her, her gentle face, and knows she is only feigning sleep. She is as scared as he is.

 _Do you think they’ll let us in?_ she had whispered to him the night before, curled tight beside him, not quite touching, not quite there.  _Do you think they’ll talk to us at all?_

He’d carefully placed his hand near hers, extended a finger to stroke the smooth skin of her wrist.  _Yes,_  he’d answered, not only to comfort her, but because he knew it was true. If only to mother and yell, they would see them.

It was meant to take about four hours, maybe five when factoring in breaks, but with the way they had dragged out their meals and the strictness he’d applied to the speed limit, they were into hour six of their drive and still over twenty minutes away.

She’d tried to take the driver’s seat, once, about three rest stops ago, but he’d refused. His grip on the wheel, his knowledge of the route, his foot on the pedal -- these were the only things keeping him together. He could relinquish none of them without losing the confidence she was relying on.

At last, they pass the sign they had been waiting for;

_Welcome to Point Place_

_DON’T DATE KELSO_

“I wonder when they added that.”

“We’ll ask Mrs. Forman.”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Maybe it was her face, her glowing-with-excitement face, at the idea of surprising her boyfriend, maybe it was her determination to ignore the boredom and mud and Canadians so she could spend some time with people she cared about, maybe it was that he had accidentally gotten her to consider_ Laurie Forman _her sort-of-almost friend which made the situation_ so much worse _, but the guilt was eating at him. It was annoying and persistent -- much like the girl who was causing the feeling._

_And he thought he’d killed his conscience years ago._

_The point was, he couldn’t keep it up. Kelso was an ass and a hypocrite and Hyde could abide by only one of those things. He should never have helped them get back together._

_But he_ couldn’t rat on a friend _. That was the_ way _. That was the_ rule _._

…That  _was how he was gonna fix it._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

It was nearing eleven when they finally pulled up to the front of the house they had fled so long ago.

“Jackie, we’re here.” Hyde nudges her gently, waiting for her to open her eyes. “Let’s go.”

“You know, Steven,” Jackie says, her lids barely cracked, her voice a rough approximation of what she truly sounds like in the morning, “it’s late. They’re probably asleep, we shouldn’t bother them like this. Let’s get a motel room and come back tomorrow.” She leans into him and places a hand on his knee, the other hand idly playing with his keychain, looking for him to start up the car again.

“You know the second we turn away, we’re hauling ass,” Hyde protests. He wants to leave. He wants to forget this terrible  _terrible_ idea. But he wants to  _stay_. He wants to see them. He knows she does, too.

“Steven--”

“Get out of the car, Jackie.”

She pouts and opens her door. He doesn’t know why she thinks it will affect him. It won’t, not in this light, not when he can barely see the width of her eyes, the curve of her lips.

He takes her hand and threads their fingers together, his palm pressed firmly to hers. She squeezes gently and looks to him, and he wonders if she finally lets herself see his fear. He decides she does when she tugs his arm and begins leading them to the door. As they reach the porch, they can hear the soft tune of a radio, the crooning of Bette Midler and roses. There are no crickets to break open the night, nothing to drown out the weight of their breathing, nothing to keep them from knowing someone is puttering about inside.

She raises a hand -- hesitates -- and he knocks for them, knowing this is more his place, more his family.

There is a pause inside, a small  _click_ of a radio turned off, a shuffling of slippered feet. The door opens slowly, cautiously, before there is a  _BANG_ as it slams into the wall.

“ _STEVEN!_ ” the woman cries, already throwing herself at him, heedless of the sounds of panic coming from the bedroom where her husband had been sleeping, heedless of the door as it swung back at her, stopped only by Jackie’s firm foot. “ _Oh, Steven! You’re safe! You’re here!_ ”

He wraps his free arm around her slowly, cautiously, before looking over her head and into the eyes of the man standing on the stairs -- older, balder, but no less intimidating.

“I’m here.”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

“ _TEN YEARS. YOU TWO MORONS HAVE BEEN GONE FOR_ ** _TEN GODDAMN YEARS._** _DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED KITTY HAS BEEN? I’VE HAVE TO LISTEN TO HER CRY AT NIGHT MORE TIMES THEN I CAN COUNT BECAUSE OF YOU IDIOTS. I SWEAR, IF YOU EVER PULL CRAP LIKE THIS AGAIN, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASSES,_ ** _YOUR TEETH WILL BLEED_**.”

It had been an impressive amount of yelling, made more impressive by the shade of purple his face had turned. Mrs. Forman is sobbing throughout, clutching tightly still to Hyde’s arm, tugging him along with her as she makes her way to the phone. Jackie follows behind them, not quite ignored but not as doted on, either. She looks to Red, who catches her eye only briefly before they turn away again.

The yelling is over and the sobbing has quieted as Mrs. Forman picks up the phone and holds it between her ear and shoulder to dial, still refusing to release her child returned.

Hyde knows who she is calling, who she is demanding a visit from  _now right now right this very second get in your car and drive_ , and he wants to see them, too, but what will he say when they arrive? (And they  _will_ arrive, tired and out of breath and screaming about abandonment as if it were not written in his genes to run.)

“They’ll be here in a few hours,” Mrs. Forman announces as she returns the phone to its cradle. “For now, you two go upstairs and take a quick nap. I’m sure you’re both tired from your trip. Jackie, you’ll be in the guest room, and Steven, get the cot out of the guest room and set it up in my sewing room. Go on, now, both of you.”

They share an awkward glance, debating whether to tell the woman that they would prefer not to be separated. A glare from Red deters them, and they decide to simply do as Mrs. Forman says.

“Guest room?” Jackie asks politely.

“Yes, sweetie, Laurie’s old room.” She walks them to the stairs and finally releases Hyde, shooing them away to their borrowed beds. “Sleep tight!”

They leave for their rooms. They do not turn to see Mrs. Forman collapse into her husband’s arms, her tears spilling anew.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hyde does set up the cot, but he manages less than twenty minutes on it before moving across the hall. He cannot rest there, not alone. His arms are empty, his skin foreign without the thrum of another’s pulse held against it. Jackie, too, is awake when he crawls into her bed, curls himself around her, and tries to let go of his tension. They do not speak. There is nothing to say. This is as far as their planning had stretched; pack bags, drive car, see Formans. They should have prepared better, they know, but they do not care.

Just one hour and Hyde will sneak back into the sewing room, Eric’s old bedroom, and hope Red will not sense they had disobeyed their orders. Until then, he will hold Jackie, and he will rest. This is fine. This is enough.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

It is morning, though barely. The sun is not yet risen. Breakfast is omelets. The table is silent but for the sound of cutlery. Mrs. Forman is fit to burst with questions, but they are waiting. Red is fit to lecture, but they are waiting. Hyde and Jackie are fit to run, but they are waiting. When their friends arrive -- friends? Were they still? Did they have the right? -- there will be time for explanations and listening and sitting or standing or fleeing once more into the distance, but until then, they wait.

“These are delicious omelets, Mrs. Forman,” Jackie says, uncomfortable as always with silence. She smiles stiffly, though not as stiffly as Mrs. Forman smiles back.

“Thank you, dear,” she says. Hyde sips his coffee. Red’s fingers twitch in the absence of his morning paper. “Would you like more orange juice?”

“When are the other morons getting here?” Red asks, unsurprisingly the first to crack.

“Well, they sh--” is all Mrs. Forman manages to get out before the squealing of tires pierces the air. There is slamming and stomping and hands and hands and hands banging on the sliding door, pulling bodies back and away, fighting to be the first to see for themselves that Kitty Forman hasn’t snapped, that their lost friends have finally returned.

To no one’s shock, Donna wins the wrestling match, falling through the doorway only seconds before the men she has beaten, staring silently at the four clustered around the table.

“Hyde?” Hyde grins weakly. “Jackie?” Jackie smiles, bittersweet.

“Hey.”

“ _Oh my god!_ ”

More hugging and crying and shrieking and grabbing and Mrs. Forman is sobbing again and Mr. Forman is yelling at them all to stop knocking stuff over and Hyde’s hand is firm on Jackie’s back and Jackie’s hand is warm on Hyde’s hip and the two are squished between their crying, shrieking, grabbing friends and they wonder if it will last.

“All right, that’s it! Everyone into the living room!  _Now!_ ”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

“Where have you been?”

“Why did you leave?”

“Why didn’t you call anyone?”

“Why are you only coming back now?”

“When did you grow a beard?”

Eric and Donna squeeze onto the organ bench. Hyde, Jackie, Kelso, and Fez share the couch. Red is in his chair, his wife perched on the arm. Everything is overlapping, questions leading to other questions to more questions to the same fucking questions and they don’t know how to answer them before a new one bursts forth.

“ _Everyone!_ ” Mrs. Forman calls, noting their dilemma. “Everyone just give them a minute.” She looks around at her children, frowning at the ones who move as if to speak against her wishes. When her control is clear, she turns back to Hyde and Jackie. “Now, how have you two been?”

A gentle start, one Jackie grabs onto gratefully.

“We’ve been great, Mrs. Forman,” she says, smiling. “Steven manages a record store and I’m a secretary at a garage part time while I finish school.”

“Garages need secretaries?” Eric asks dubiously.

“This one did, trust me.”

“So Steven manages a record store,” Mrs. Forman says proudly. “Yaaay!” She laughs, but it fades away quickly. “ _Where?_ ” She is firm and impatient and unavoidable.

“Indianapolis,” Hyde says. The people gathered look relieved to finally know where they had disappeared into, where they could hunt them down should they try to disappear again.

“Why Indianapolis?” Donna asks, scooting just a bit closer to the group.

“It just sort of happened,” Jackie answers. “We were driving and that’s where we ended up. We just… figured we’d stay.”

“Why didn’t you call us?” Red demands. “Kitty was beside herself worrying over you dumbasses!”

“We didn’t want anyone convincing us to come back.” Jackie’s eyes are glassy and her voice is fragile and Hyde cuts off the protests before they can begin.

“All right, everybody,  _look_ ,” he says, staring at each of his audience members in turn. “It was almost  _ten years ago_. What happened and why doesn’t matter right now. The point is, we’re here now and nobody’s dead, so let’s just… catch up, ok?”

No one reacts but for the occasional odd look, before suddenly;

“I’m a hair stylist.”

They turn to Fez, who looks nervous under the incredulous stares directed at him.

“ _What?_ ” he bites out. “He  _asked_.” He turns to look only at Hyde and Jackie. “I’m a hairstylist at a salon in Chicago, where I share an apartment with Kelso, I took my citizenship test soon after graduation and am now  _officially_ an American, and I finally lost my virginity when I was nineteen.”

He looks especially proud of himself at the last fact, and Hyde nods absently.

“That’s a little more information than we wanted, Fez,” Jackie says, “but congratulations, I guess?”

“Thank you.” Fez smiles at her. “Now, someone else go.”

“Um….” Donna pauses, biting her lip as her eyes dart around at the faces now turned to her. “I’m a journalist in Madison?” Jackie beams at her, excited for her friend, and Donna gains confidence in Jackie’s joy. “Yeah, I graduated college a few years ago with Eric. We broke up a little after you two left but we decided to try dating again last year and….”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Eric works at a comic book store. Red is retired. Mrs. Forman volunteers at shelters.

Kelso is a father.

“Yup, knocked up Brooke Rockwell at a Molly Hatchet concert. We have a little girl, now, Betsy. She’s eight.” Kelso leans back and slings his arm across the couch, across Jackie’s shoulders. “But me and Brooke aren’t a  _thing_ , so, you know… I’m here for you if you have any physical needs.”

“I’m married.”

There is surprise, though Hyde doesn’t know why. She is wearing her ring. She had always spoken of marriage as one of her major life goals. What had they expected, after all these years?

“...Sooo?” Kelso, as ever, is stupid.

“So, hands off  _my wife_ ,  _dillhole_.” Hyde reaches past Jackie and punches Kelso harder than he ever had in the past. Kelso doubles over, groaning pathetically,but no one pays him mind as Hyde pulls Jackie into his lap, arms wrapping around her protectively.

“Wife?”

The question is asked by everyone, and Jackie takes her cue.

“Yeah,” she answers. “We signed the paperwork years ago but we only recently got the funds for an actual ceremony.” Her lips twitch in a mockery of a grin as she looks at the shocked faces around her. None look supportive. “Which is another reason we came back now; we want all of you to come!”

She sounds so nervous, and Hyde moves his hand to hers, his thumb absently rubbing over her wedding ring -- gold and simple with only an inscription on the inside to make it special.  _Anything for you, doll._ It was all he had been able to afford at the time, but Jackie had smiled and cried and kissed him over and over when he’d first slid it onto her finger. To his knowledge, she had not taken it off since.

Finally, “You… and  _Jackie?_ ” Kelso stands and looks down at the couple. He sounds hurt, sounds betrayed, as if it had not been almost a decade, as if he had not betrayed Jackie first. Hyde moves Jackie back into her own seat. He can see clearly where this is going. “ _You’re_   _dead_.”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The fight is not a fight, not with how quickly Hyde puts Kelso down, not with Red kicking everyone but the married couple out of the house.

“We’ll be in town for a couple weeks if you guys wanna hang out,” Hyde calls to them as Red locks all the doors. The older man glares at him. “Don’t worry, me and Jackie are getting a motel.”

“Oh, no you’re not,” Red protests. Hyde is confused; he thinks Red should jump at the chance to get them out of his house. “Not now that my wife is helping  _your_ wife with the wedding plans.”

“The wedding’s already planned. All you have to do is show up.”

“Good luck explaining that to Kitty.”

_Goddamn it._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter One**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you can see, a lot of changes.
> 
> Because Hyde and Jackie weren’t there to play sounding board for their respective best friends, Eric and Donna weren’t able to work through a lot of their issues. Because Jackie wasn’t there to set Donna up with Casey, Eric takes even longer to realize he has more than lingering feelings for Donna. Also, when Donna starts dating again, her new bf isn’t an asshole that Eric feels the need to “save” her from, thus he spends more time trying to move past his feelings instead of breaking up her relationship. They maintain their friendship through college and decide to try dating again after graduation.
> 
> Donna never dyes her hair because Jackie wasn’t there to “ruin her self esteem” and the whole not-wedding drama didn’t happen and also the only reason that was made a plot point was because Laura Prepon had to dye it for another role.
> 
> Fez’s story doesn’t change much, though he doesn’t date Nina because, though he does end up at the DMV for his own vehicle-related reasons, he doesn’t have Eric’s ugly man ring and so never gets a job there. He works a few odd jobs, dates a few ladies, and is now at the “salon master/ladies man” stage. Because Hyde and Kelso never fought over Jackie at the water tower, Fez was never abandoned there and never had the cops discover his expiring visa, so he never marries Laurie and Red doesn’t have a heart attack.
> 
> Kelso, while involved in his daughter’s life, does not do a very good job endearing himself to Brooke. Even with the others to help him through his fears and issues, a lot of Kelso’s maturing and character development had to do with Jackie. 
> 
> Without her around, he wasn’t as ready to be in a serious relationship with a woman like Brooke as he was in the show. He and Brooke are friends, though. Kelso didn’t join the police academy, and still works as a small-time model.
> 
> Red and Kitty are basically the same, just stricter and more smothering respectively, out of worry that someone would just disappear again.
> 
> Also, to clarify, it’s hasn’t been a full ten years since they left. A little over nine and a half years, I think. Red just said ten because people exaggerate when they’re pissed and ten is a nice round number and blah blah blah.
> 
> So yeah! Tell me what you think, if you’re feeling so inclined, and please be gentle. This is my first That 70’s Show fanfiction and it has admittedly been a while since I’ve watched the show.


	2. Chapter Two

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_She was waiting for Donna, obviously. Hyde knew Kelso had fed her some crap about his mom wanting him to move some stuff to the garage and Jackie wasn’t exactly fond of anyone else that frequented the basement. Donna wouldn’t be there for another twenty minutes. It was the perfect time._

_Hyde stuck his head out of his room._

_“Hey, Jackie, c’mere.”_

_“Why?” Jackie asked, her coat only half off and her tone suspicious._

_“Just come on.” Jackie continued to stare. Hyde groaned in frustration. “I have a present for you.”_

_“_ Really? _” Jackie squealed, happily bouncing over to him. “What is it? Is it shiny?”_

 _“Here.” He shoved an envelope at her, which she was quick to catch and dig through._

_“_ _Photos?” She tilted her head. “Why would…?” Her expression turned sweet. “Prom photos,” she sighed, a soft smile on her softer face. “How did you get these?”_

_Hyde shrugged._

_“Stole ‘em from Yearbook,” he answered. “Didn’t want ‘em publishing any pictures of me in that damn tuxedo. I kept them in a box but now that I have free access to developing equipment, figured I might as well make you copies.”_

_Jackie looked up, her hands clutching the envelope to her chest as she gazed at Hyde with heart eyes._

_“_ Thank you _, Hyde.” She kissed him on the cheek and he shrugged again._

 _“Yeah, well… whatever.” He grinned for a second then_ _made his way to the television_ _._

And so it begins….

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Red allows the others back in the house soon after lunch. He orders them not to bother him before he settles himself in his chair. Mrs. Forman reluctantly leaves for her volunteer duties. The gang gathers in the basement.

Kelso glares from the lawnchair, his eye a nice shade of purple. Fez, Eric, and Donna share the couch. Hyde is in his chair, his wife on his lap.

It is silent.

There should not be silence here. Where is the music? The TV shows? The thick cloud of smoke? Hyde wonders how the others kept supplied with him gone.

“So….” Jackie looks around, tapping her hands on her thigh and noting how little has changed. The furniture is just as torn. The television is just as old. “Did you guys hear about that car that runs on water?”

Hyde buries his face in her back, shoulders shaking as he stifles his laughter.

“It has a fiberglass-cooled engine and it runs on  _water_ ,” Jackie continues, smirking at her husband’s amusement. Eric grins and Donna bites her lip.

“ _Ai_ , no, Hyde!” Fez says, scandalized. “What did you  _do_ to her?”

Hyde bursts out laughing, Eric and Donna joining in. Jackie giggles, carefully maintaining her balance on her husband’s lap.

“I’m  _kidding_ , Fez, don’t worry.” Jackie smiles indulgently and moves for the TV. “Now, who wants to watch  _Dallas_?”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

There is laughter. There are burns and anecdotes and a particularly in-depth discussion about  _Star Wars_. (Eric is heartbroken by the final film. _“How can they be twins?!”_ ) Kelso is still glaring, but less so. Things are still awkward, but less so. It feels almost like old times.

“So they’re trying to get me to shut down the story, but why should I?” Donna is saying. “Just because it makes one old rich dude look bad? Well, don’t do bad stuff!”

“Destroy him, Donna,” Hyde encourages. “Drag his name through all the mud you can find.”

“Go to his house with a recorder in your purse and pretend to be bribe-able,” Jackie suggests. “Then use the recording in the article.”

Donna nods her head admiringly. “ _Nice plan_ , Jackie. I will do that.”

“So, Forman, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Hyde says. “What the hell did you go to college for? All you said was that you graduated.”

“Theater.”

“No, really.”

“I went for  _theater_ , man,” Eric insists.

“It’s true,” Kelso says, finally deigning to speak directly to them. “He directed the church Christmas play for a few years and decided it was fun even though  _he wouldn’t let me be a spaceman!_ ”

“There are  _no spacemen_ in the  _Bible!_ ” Eric yells at him. “Anyway, yeah. I volunteer at the community theater in Madison. I just have to wait for one of the older workers to bite it so I can get a paid position.”

“That’s cool.”

“You always did like to go on about your roles in school plays.”

Fez stands.

“Well, I hate to cut this short, but I must be leaving,” he says. “It is laundry day and I must have all my pants cleaned and pressed for work tomorrow.”

“And we rode down here together, so I guess I’m also off.” Kelso stands, too, and moves for the door. “But we’ll be back! So no running off again.”

“We won’t,” Jackie says. “Promise.”

“And Jackie,” Fez says, “if ever you are in Chicago, I will be delighted to do your hair.”

Jackie looks at him, bemused.

“Thanks, Fez.” Fez smiles.

“Now, good day to you all.”

Unable to resist, Hyde remarks, “But Fez--”

“I said  _good day!_ ” Fez and Kelso leave, and things go quiet again.

“Hey, uh, Jackie?” Donna says hesitantly. “Do you wanna… go to the mall?”

“Sure!” Jackie hops up, excited. “We can find you a dress for my wedding!”

“Oh…  _yay_.”

“It’ll have to be purple to match my other bridesmaids. Honestly, Donna, you’re lucky I didn’t choose pink. It would go  _awful_ with your hair.” Jackie shakes her head, tutting disapprovingly at Donna’s red locks. She turns to kiss Hyde as Donna moves to kiss Eric. “We’ll be back in a bit, puddin’.”

“Later, doll.”

“Have fun!”

The door closes behind the women. Only the brothers are left.

“ _Puddin_ ’?”

“She refuses to change it, man.”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

“You’re my best man, right?”

“Duh.”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

“Hey... how’d this happen?”

Hyde knew Eric would ask. How could he not? They were friends, they were  _brothers_. They had been for  _so long_. Hyde remembers when they had first met -- Eric so small and afraid and Hyde so willing to put up with him to avoid going home just a little while longer. Hyde had been the only one who’d known Eric’s insecurities. (Donna had readily stepped in when Hyde had vanished.) Eric had been the only who’d known Hyde’s nightmares. (That is Jackie’s secret to know, now, though Eric still gladly carries the burden.)

“It just sort of  _did_ , Forman. I dunno what to tell you.”

“The truth would be nice.”

“That  _is_ the truth, man!” Hyde doesn’t want to have this conversation, not now, not  yet, not sober. He and Jackie was not something he had meant for. They had been pushed together by circumstance, but when the time had come, they had refused to fall back apart.

(Perhaps they should have. Perhaps, in another world, Hyde and Jackie had never run off. Kelso got his shit together. Jackie Burkhart became Jackie Kelso. Hyde never learns the tick of her pulse or the warmth of her skin or the depths of her mind. Perhaps she has a bigger ring, a bigger house, a bigger smile. Perhaps she is happier in this alternate, shallower world. But the Jackie that Hyde knows has long outgrown the need for picturesque perfection.)

“Ok.” Eric nods. He doesn’t believe, but he accepts for the moment. “You just…  _hooked up_  with the devil. Sounds plausible.”

“Shut up.”

“No, I’m serious! People  _were_ always saying you’re a Satanist.”

“That better not be in your best man speech.”

“Oh, that is the  _entirety_ of my best man speech.”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_It was… difficult finding reasons to talk to Jackie, but he managed._

“Yeah, Jackie, Pam Macy’s a huge skank.”

“I don’t know why Kelso didn’t appreciate the jacket you got him, either.”

“Of  _course_ you should be able to put all your stuffed animals in Kelso’s car.”

 _He managed to sound enough like his usual self by bragging, mocking, and burning that no one got suspicious over why he was acting so tolerant, but no matter how awful he was, Jackie never seemed to care. She was happy to have someone listen to her, even if they were being obnoxious about it. Kelso tuned her out (and was_ not  _subtle about it), Eric always told her to shut up, Donna was going through her own shit, and Fez was always hitting on her. Hyde was an ass, but he was an ass who could carry on the conversation._

_As he forced himself to spend more time with her, Hyde began to find Jackie less and less annoying. Sure, she was loud and bossy and bratty and threw money around like parade candy, but she also said what she felt and didn’t take crap and was completely unapologetic about who she was. Hyde respected that._

_One day she called him “Steven” and refused to stop even when he threatened to call her “Beulah”. He respected that, too._

_“Steven,_ does  _Michael keep secrets from me?”_

_And all that hard work was about to pay off._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

They act like nothing has changed. Hyde is thankful though he knows it won’t last. He knows they should talk, should clear the air of the secrets he has been keeping for so long and rebuild their friendship on the new foundation. He can’t.

Hyde is not ashamed of his actions -- he is sorry he worried his friends, he wishes he had not caused such stress for the Formans, he regrets the relationships he has damaged -- but he feels no shame for the things he has done. His decisions are his own, and they had been the only ones worth making at the time.

But Jackie….

She is not ashamed, not of him, not of what they have built together from the scraps of their lives they had piled into his car. She is not sorry for the worry or the stress or the relationships damaged -- she feels the sacrifices are worth the life she has carved for herself, for  _them_. She had never truly felt part of the group, anyway, not with how obvious they had been in their disdain for her when she had first arrived. Why should she feel guilt for leaving them when they had been so vocal about wanting her gone? She does not feel guilt. She is not ashamed. Not of that.

Before they had disappeared, before fear had overwhelmed them, before they packed what things they could and strapped it into the Camino’s flatbed and took off for a place they could stand to be, Jackie had been guilty. She had been ashamed. She regrets the decisions she’s made -- the one’s she’d called mistakes those first few weeks when she curled into his arms and prayed he was sleeping. She wishes she had done something differently, something kinder, something less malicious than what she’d inflicted when she had been lost in her rage and pain and anger. She hates to think of the person she had been, the one who had taken such a terrible revenge on the ones who had mistreated her.

Hyde sees her actions as justified. He sees nothing wrong in the things she had done -- she had only struck back against people who had hurt her so carelessly first -- but this act is one she had never been able to reconcile with herself. She had never thought she could be so deliberately cruel.

Jackie will not talk about it, Jackie  _cannot_ talk about it, and so Hyde will keep her confidence. How could he explain such things, anyway? How could he get Eric to understand the mindset of a woman he had only moments ago compared to Satan? He can’t. He won’t even try.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

“How was your day out with Donna?”

It is night. They are dressing for bed, working seamlessly around each other in a habit long formed.

(Hyde balances on the dresser as he removes his shoes, knowing he will not get up again if he sits down to do it.) (Jackie stands on the opposite side of the bed as Hyde puts his boots away, knowing if he decides to sit instead, he will pull her with him, but she will not do that, not here, in his pseudo-parents’ home.)

“It was nice. We found the  _perfect_ dress for her! The hemline will take a little tweaking, but that won’t be much work. How was your day with Eric?”

(Hyde lines their shoes up just right so Jackie won’t feel the need to adjust them later.) (Jackie still adjusts them while he changes shirts, as she prefers to do it herself.)

“He called you ‘the devil’ a few times and we talked about his best man speech.”

(Hyde leaves his pants on the ground and climbs into bed first.) (Jackie pretends to trip over them so she has an excuse to fall on him.)

“He better not talk about Star Wars in it.” She makes her way under the covers, casually slinging a leg across Hyde’s hips. Her head rests on his shoulder, her free hand on his stomach.

It is quiet.

(They do not want to be there, not in that room, not knowing the awful things that had happened in it so long ago.) (They grit their teeth and bear it.)

Hyde turns off the light.

“I love you.”

“Love you, too, doll.”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_She didn’t believe him._ All that work  _and she didn’t believe him. He’d listened to her problems, helped her burn some bitchy cheerleaders, taught her what little he knew about cars, and she called him a liar._

 _Hyde_ **_didn’t lie_ ** _. He said truths sarcastically, he withheld information, he worded things in a way that kept others from looking too closely, but he didn’t flat out lie._

“Steven, does Michael keep secrets from me?”

 _Hyde had spent_ days  _trying to find the right way to word it, then weeks more when he started to hate her presence less and less, he’d_ ** _emoted_** _goddamn it, and she_ didn’t believe him _._

“Look, Beulah --  _Jackie_ …. I don’t know how to say this. I wanted to say something sooner but…. I just…. I didn’t think you’d  _listen_ , but I think you will, now…. Jackie, Kelso’s been sleeping with Laurie. I am  _so_ sorry, kid.”

_He’d shown sincerity and taken off his sunglasses and everything and she’d just called him a lying bastard and stormed off._

_Well,_ whatever!  _He had better things to do than worry about perfect, precious Jackie Beulah Burkhart. He had records to listen to and photos to print and baggies to sell. He had a lot of shit going on, and it’d be much easier to deal with it without having to listen to that midget talk._

 _“_ Steven! _” Speak of the devil. “Steven,_ please _! I’m sorry!”_

_Hyde didn’t want to leave his room, didn’t want to let her know where he was, but she sounded like she was sobbing and damn it all, he’d always been weak to that. He opened his door just as she seemed to give up, letting out a high pitched keening sound and curling into herself._

_“What’re you doing here?”_

_“_ Steven! _” She flew at him and collapsed into his arms. He resisted the urge to push her away as she buried her face in his neck. “_ I saw them! _” she cried, her words muffled against his skin, but he knew. “I went to his house to talk and his van was moving and I heard voices so I looked in the window and it was them!”_

_It was not the time for an ‘I told you so’, and Hyde was only barely nice enough to contain it._

_“It’s ok, kid,” he said instead, holding her tight to him. That was what he was meant to do, right, in a situation like this? None of his other friends really cried, not to him at least. “You’ll be ok.”_

_That was when Hyde realized; what now?_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Two**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for liking the story enough to continue; I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I’ve never been particularly good at building a story before getting to the climax -- I get impatient -- but I’m really trying this time so bear with me!
> 
> I literally had no idea what to do for Eric’s job/education. The only thing he ever brought up with any regularity is Star Wars, action figures, and what ever bit part he had in a school play. Him becoming a teacher in canon was really out of left field, (he says he likes kids even though he’s never shown interacting with kids, they mention him teaching his friends stuff but there’s never a scene where he did anything even vaguely teacher-esque except that time he lied about tutoring Kelso in math), but in addition to bragging about his bit parts, he also really enjoyed directing the Christmas pageant and he’d pretty much always dramatic, so putting him in theater was the only thing I could come up with that made sense.


	3. Chapter Three

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_"What are you gonna do?"_

_"...I don't know."_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The next day is slow. Their friends can't get time from work to come back to Point Place just yet, and the town is just as empty of entertainment as it had always been. Hyde spends the morning helping Mrs. Forman with her volunteer duties, sorting out donations for needy families and collecting clothes for the homeless. Jackie and Red spend their time under the El Camino's hood, speaking to each other with technical terms Hyde had never bothered to learn.

Hyde loads canned goods into boxes, remembering the holidays when care packages had been delivered to Edna's porch filled with all the crappy foods no one wanted but bought for some reason. He remembers the first holiday he had signed himself and Jackie up for the program in Indianapolis. They hadn't been there too long, but the money she'd stolen from her father's safe was running out faster than they had hoped. Jackie had been furious. She didn't want to accept hand outs from anyone, didn't want to seem weak or needy, and Hyde hadn't wanted to either, but he hadn't wanted her to starve even more. There was no one they knew, no one to hold on to their steadily decreasing pride for. Hyde had been the one to handle the finances, having a better idea of fiscal spending than Jackie had, and had shoved their budget in her face until she'd conceded and accepted their bag of off brand cereal and beets without protest.

Hyde doesn't like to remember those times.

"Are we delivering these or does another group do that?" Hyde asks Mrs. Forman, passing her a box of Rice-A-Roni.

"Another group, honey," she answers, finishing off her box and sealing the top. "We just make sure everyone get their fair share!" She slides her completed box to the people stacking them and reaches for a new one. "Speaking of food, what would you and Jackie like for dinner?"

"How about Jackie and I make dinner tonight?"

Mrs. Forman titters nervously.

"Now, Steven, you know I just  _adore_ Jackie, but I  _have_ seen her in a kitchen, remember?"

"I'll supervise, don't worry."

"Well… I suppose, if you insist." Mrs. Forman drums her fingers on the table. "You know where the fire extinguisher is, right?"

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_"Whatever you wanna do, I'll help," Hyde offered before he could stop himself. He'd become her friend, enough of a friend that he could rat Kelso out guilt-free, his job was done. Anything after this was supposed to be strictly_ not his problem _, so why was he making it his business? Did he really want to burn Kelso that badly?_

_"Really?" Jackie asked, still trying to wipe away her tears. Fresh ones replaced them, but the flow was slowing down. "Why? You and Michael have been friends for… ever."_

Exactly!  _So_ why did Hyde still care?

_…Because Donna wouldn't help. Donna couldn't even work up the nerve to tell her. She'd try to talk Jackie down and cling to the moral high ground when it didn't work._

_The other cheerleaders wouldn't help. That squad pounced at the slightest sign of weakness. Jackie would get eaten alive._

_Forman and Fez wouldn't help. Forman didn't give a damn and Fez would just try to catch Jackie on the rebound._

_Why did Hyde care? Because he was all she had, and Kelso was wrong._

_"Yeah, but what he did? Not cool."_

_Jackie leaned on him again, and he slowly wound his arms around her. Hugging her was getting less and less weird with each embrace she forced on him, and he wondered if there would come a time where he wouldn't stiffen up, where he would hold her instinctively instead of taking his time wrapping his mind around the situation._

_Jackie Burkhart was in his arms. One day, he might stop finding that baffling._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"So, I found out what happened to my mom." Jackie sets the table while Hyde arranges ingredients. The recipe is simple, one Jackie had learned at the diner she'd waitressed at their first year alone. Sandwich melts - just throw whatever on some bread and toast it. They'd become very accomplished at it, thanks to their budget at the time.

"Really? Where is she then?"

"Somewhere in South America." Jackie lays slices of pre-cooked ham in a skillet, leaving them on just enough to warm up before taking them off again. Hyde takes the pork, folds it into the sandwiches, and starts toasting the melts. "Or maybe Mexico. Maybe Europe. Wherever her rich new boyfriends will fly her where she can get drunk and sleep around."

They had heard the news about Jack Burkhart. Jackie had wanted to go back, had wanted to see him and…  _something_. Be a character witness? (But who would believe the runaway daughter.) Tell him everything would be ok? (He was going to prison and she was living paycheck to paycheck with a high school drop-out.) Hold his hand during sentencing? (They would never let her get so close.)

In the end, Jackie had stayed away. There was nothing she could do, nothing except get taken to a group home. Pamela had already disappeared and Jackie was still only seventeen at the time. The police would never accept "one-bedroom apartment with her nineteen year old boyfriend" as an adequate living situation. Hell, they might have arrested Hyde for being with a minor. So they had followed the papers and waited. Jack Burkhart was sentenced to fifteen years. Pam was never mentioned.

"She didn't leave any way to contact her?"

"No." Jackie begins frying eggs, carefully adding them to the finished melts. The cheese is slightly overflowing, the lettuce has a bit of a wilt; it is perfect. "I ran away first."  _Is it weird to feel abandoned?_ Hyde hears it as plainly as if it had been spoken. It is there in her tone, her posture, her face.  _I ran away first. I disappeared with no way for anyone to get in contact long before she did. Do I have any right to feel like this? Did she even care that I was gone?_

"I know."  _Feel what you feel. Do your feelings make sense? Maybe not, but they're yours. You're entitled to them._ "I'm sure she understands why."  _I'm sure she was scared, too._

"Homemade fries on the side?"  _I'm done talking about this for now._

"Let's just use chips."  _Ok._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_She didn't break up with him. She yelled at him a bit - made up some excuse for it - and claimed she was coming down with something so she was going home and no one had better bother her. But she didn't break up with him._

_Hyde knew that couldn't be it. Jackie Burkhart was a vicious, prideful girl. She wouldn't turn a blind eye to something like this for the sake of "love". She had to be planning something. Something awful. Something_ amazing _. Something so purely evil, Hyde might even be impressed._

_It took two days for Jackie to call him over._

_Hyde had never seen her room before, but he found himself unsurprised by the excessive pink and stuffed animals. She was_ sixteen _, damn it, why was her room still so… babyish?_

_"Shut up."_

_"I didn't say anything."_

_"Your face said it all." Jackie pouted and clutched a plush unicorn to herself. "Anyway, I've decided what I'm going to do."_

_"Good. You're dumping him?"_

_"No."_ What the fuck?  _"I'm going to make him suffer."_

_That sounded promising. Jackie could be pretty vindictive when she wanted to be. It was one of Hyde's favorite things about her._

_"How're you gonna do that?"_

_Jackie's lips stretched into a wicked grin, and Hyde felt his expression mirroring hers._

I should've made nice with this chick years ago.

_Things were about to get fun._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Lunch isn't impressive, but Mrs. Forman doesn't stop gushing. Her praise is part pride part shock, but Hyde and Jackie bask in it. It is weird, they feel like teenagers again, lonely and hungry for approval, though they have not worried about such things in years. Mrs. Forman has a magical power about her, but then, all of Point Place already knows that.

Mr. Forman eventually pulls the conversation to cars, and Jackie eagerly takes part, fondly remembering the times the two of them had spent together in the Formans' garage as Red patiently explained the inner workings of the Toyota. Jackie has picked up a lot at the garage where she works, and Red is more than happy to have someone around that knows that a manifold is not a map.

Their talk flies over Hyde's and Mrs. Forman's heads - Kitty never having much interest for cars and Hyde never learning more than needed at the time - and the two lean in for their own conversation.

"Fez has some vacation time saved up," Mrs. Forman says. "He should be down tomorrow and he told me he's staying for three days at least. Donna has to finish her article, but Eric should be down soon, and Michael is bringing little Betsy for the weekend."

"Sounds good." Hyde nods, absently eating a chip. "You and Red got any plans?"

"Oh, no, nothing special." Mrs. Forman smiles gently. "Pay some bills, catch up on our reading…. I'll probably knit something. I'll make you a hat!" She pats the table and grins, pleased with her decision.

"Or you can come bowling with Jackie and me," Hyde offers.

"No, no," Mrs. Forman says. "Fez will be here and we wouldn't want to intrude on your time with your friends."

"Fez and Jackie will spend the entire time talking about how she should wear her hair for the wedding," Hyde insists. "You'll be saving me."

"Oh, Steven I don't know…." Mrs. Forman absently clicks her tongue and pokes at the remainder of her sandwich melt. She reaches for her drink, darting her eyes back and forth from the food to her son. "Me and Red went to the movies just last week, it seems odd to go out again so soon."

"C'mon, Mrs. Forman," Hyde urges. "Our treat. Please?"

" _Ohhh_ … ok!" Mrs. Forman never did like saying no to her boys.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

There is no discussion about their day. No anecdotes worth telling, no news worth sharing. Jackie knows Fez will be there in the morning. Hyde knows Red has failed to get out of bowling. There is nothing to say.

"Love you, doll."

"I love you, too."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_"Jackie cut me off!"_

_Hyde laughed at him, both at his whining tone and the fact that he has no idea what's coming for him._

_"Dude, that's hysterical!"_

_"No, it's not!"_

_"Uh,_ yes _, it is," Forman insisted._

_"It's the universe punishing you for being a whore," Fez added happily._

_"No, it's Jackie punishing me for_ 'losing sight of our love' _," Kelso said mockingly. "She thinks I spend more time_ _ask_ _ing for sex than I do being romantic."_

_"Because you do," Forman pointed out._

_"Still, that's_ no  _reason to punish me!"_

 _"That's an_ excellent  _reason to punish you."_

 _"Nu-uh!" Kelso flopped into his usual chair and leaned forward, elbows on his knees and face like the world was ending. "I don't_ 'pay enough attention to her' _and now all I got is Laurie!"_

_"Oh, no!" Fez mocked. "You poor, non-virgin bastard, with only one beautiful lady to have sex with. How sad." He scoffed. "Screw you!" He stormed off without even his standard 'good day'._

_"Maybe you'd have more time for your_ actual  _girlfriend if you stopped_ sleeping with my sister! _" Forman yelled. "This is your own fault, Kelso, and you know it."_

_Kelso looked like he was going to object, but Mrs. Forman's voice floated downstairs._

_"Eric! Could you come set the table, please?"_

_"Coming, Mom!" Eric shot one last look at Kelso and made his way to the kitchen, leaving Hyde and Kelso alone. Kelso immediately began whining again._

_"What the hell, Hyde?" he burst out. "You guys are my friends and I came to you in my hour of need and all you do is make fun of me! Where's my sympathy?"_

_"Ok, first of all, if you expected anything other than mockery, that's your own stupid fault," Hyde said. "Second, the situation you're in is_ also  _your own stupid fault. You say Jackie's your girlfriend and Laurie's just some fun on the side, but you treat them exactly the same. Of_ course  _Jackie's gonna notice that you two never go out anymore. The whole reason she_ got  _a boyfriend was to have someone take her to nice places." Kelso nodded in agreement._ Jackass.  _"And third, you've set the bar so low now you don't even have to spend_ quality _time with her. You can just hang out at the same place she's hanging out - that isn't the basement - and she won't care. Just make some free time."_

_Kelso was nodding, his smile slowly coming back._

_"You're_ right!  _The bar_ is  _low!" Kelso's face broke into his goofy grin, not focusing on anything in particular before turning back to Hyde. "But, how should I make free time?"_

_"Well…." Hyde pretended to think about it. "You can leave sleeping with skanks to the professionals?" He gestured to himself, smirking as Kelso rejected the idea._

_"No way, man."_

_"You can spend less time with the neighborhood dogs?"_

_"Nope."_

_"You can…," Hyde pretended to think again, "stop bothering with_ _school_ _?"_

_Kelso grinned at the thought before shaking his head._

_"C'mon, man, you know I can't do_ that _." He laughed. "My parents would kill me. And Jackie. She's always telling me to apply myself._ _Plus, I see Jackie at school so how would that help anyway?_ _"_

 _"Instead of going to class, you could spend that time screwin' Laurie and you'll cut out of 'Jackie time' less often. You only see her during lunch anyway," Hyde explained._ _"_ _As for y_ _our parents_ _, they_ _have seven kids - seven kids that constantly wreck the house and get picked up by cops - they won't notice one missing report card. And you know when Jackie says to do something, she means as long as it doesn't affect how much attention you give her._ _Just hide your report cards and come to school for lunchtime._ _"_

 _"...True." Kelso nodded again, his face becoming more and more determined. "Those are really good points! And it's not like I need school anyway," he insisted. "Learning stuff's for ugly people who can't get_ _modeling_ _contracts._ And _, now I have no reason_ _to keep_ _my schoolbooks!_ _Alright!_ _" Kelso rushed out of the basement, presumably to get his textbooks and some firecrackers, and Hyde smirked._

You're welcome, Beulah.

 _This could be fun_ _._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Three**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as long as previous chapters, but everyone is an adult now with their own responsibilities. I need to be able to make their re-connection at least semi-natural while factoring in everyone's day jobs and traveling times _and_ building suspense in the flashbacks for the peak of Jackie's revenge plot and their reason for leaving. So, bear with me please.
> 
> Also, someone mentioned that they found it odd how everyone just accepted that Hyde and Jackie were back right away, so I'd like to assure y'all that there _will_ be friction between the group in later chapters. Right now everyone's just in _"They're safe and they're here and let's all catch up"_ mode, but that will pass, just give it time.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the time I'm posting this, I have SIX chapters total pre-written, so updates are gonna be a little slower from here on out. It looks like this story is going to be roughly 11-13 chapters long. The chapters should also be getting longer soon since I'll have to add more/longer flashbacks.
> 
>  **ALSO!!!!!** I'm posting this anonymously (at least for now) so I can't reply to any of your comments, but just know that I appreciate every single one SO MUCH. They literally make my day and I love everyone who reviews/bookmarks/sends kudos. Y'all are the reasons I haven't given up on this. I'm usually really bad at finishing stories, but every time I get an alert for this, I get inspired to write more, so thank you, sincerely, and a special shout out to _nurselaney_ , who has commented on EVERY chapter so far. THANK YOU.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hyde was right - all Fez and Jackie talk about is the wedding: what will she wear, how will she do her hair, does she have her old/new/borrowed/blue, who are her bridesmaids, why can't Fez be a bridesmaid, etc etc.

No matter how funny it would be, Hyde promises he will kick Fez's ass if he shows up to their wedding in a dress.

Fez agrees not to be a bridesmaid.

Mrs. Forman jumps immediately into the wedding talk, leaving Hyde and Red to chat over beers in between their turns.

"Your vows or the preacher's?"

"Preacher's."

"Suit?"

"Done."

"Honeymoon?"

"Settled."

"You catch the Packers game last week?"

It is all very casual.

Red avoids the obvious, no better at emotional talks than Hyde is, and asks no questions about their disappearance. He sticks to sports, cars, and the craziness of women.

(Hyde has learned a lot in their years alone, and Jackie plays fewer mind games than she had when they'd first gotten together, but Hyde still finds her absolutely nuts at times. Apparently, this will not fade.)

Red tells Hyde about his emergency present stash - Hyde vows to make one of his own - when Hyde is called for his turn. Jackie slides into his abandoned seat and drags Red into conversation. Hyde doesn't hear what they're saying, but it's apparently not a talk Red finds as pleasant as the one from dinner the night before.

Hyde picks up the spare and goes to his wife.

"Leave the poor guy alone, doll," he tells her. "He's up, anyway."

"Thank god." Red flees. Jackie pouts at his back.

"Rude." Hyde sits beside her and she slings her legs over his. "I was just making sure he knew the wedding colors. I mean, how embarrassing would it be if his suit didn't match Mrs. Forman's mother-of-the-groom dress?"

Hyde makes a face at her, his eyes wide with disbelief.

"Did you  _seriously_  tell them they're standing in for my parents?"

"Well, aren't they?"

" _Jackie!_ "

" _I didn't know it was a secret!_ "

It isn't a secret - it is, in fact, fairly obvious where the Formans will be to any who care to think about it - but sentimentality has never been one of Hyde's strong suits. He supposes he should be grateful that Jackie has taken on the task of asking the Formans, but then, does it really mean anything if the words don't come from him?

"Hey, loud one!" They turn. Red is back. "You're up." Jackie gives her seat up to the older man and Hyde follows her retreating form, still annoyed by the situation. She picks up a ball and Hyde turns back to Red.

"I apologize for anything my wife said, did, or thought. She's seeing a specialist but the outlook is grim."

"Look, let's just agree to ignore this until Kitty brings it up."

"Deal."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"Mrs. Forman should probably sit in the first row at the wedding. She's too short to see over other people and I know she'll want a good angle to take pictures."

_You and Mrs. Forman are like parents to me and I want you two sitting in the front at my wedding._

"Good thinking."  _We'll be there._

Hyde smirks, pleased with himself.  _Now_ , it means something.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Lunch is bowling alley pizza and nachos. Mrs. Forman isn't happy about it, but she's quiet in her disapproval, which is all they can ask, really. Fez shares gossip from Chicago. Mrs. Forman shares gossip from church. Jackie is viciously happy about Kat Peterson's divorce and Pam Macy's weight gain.

(She never forgave Pam for how little she cared about whether her "boyfriends" were actually single or not. She never forgave Kat for only acknowledging Hyde in the dark.)

"So Jackie, how are your night courses going?" Red asks. Jackie startles at the change of topic, but answers carefully nevertheless.

"They're going great!" she says cheerfully. "My teachers were really nice about giving me this time off, but they sent me with a butt-load of work to get through by the time I get back."

"I think it's just  _wonderful_  of you," Mrs. Forman says, "going back to school after all these years. I'm just- I'm so  _proud_." She happily squeezed Jackie's hand.

"Thank you, Mrs. Forman," Jackie says, her free hand covering the older woman's. "I've been trying to get through these courses for years now, but life just keeps getting in the way, so hearing you say that means a lot to me." Mrs. Forman smiles.

"So, what are you studying?"

Jackie pauses only slightly, before answering, "Just general studies right now."

Hyde jumps in.

"I think she should go into business management. She does enough of it for the record store."

The topic shifts to the store and Jackie pats Hyde's knee gratefully.

She wants to be a mechanic. She wants to be a model and a TV personality and a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader and a mechanic. She is in talks with the garage owner about being apprenticed there, but he is adamant she finishes her schooling first. She has gotten far in her night classes, even with the time she has taken for their wedding planning and the trip to Point Place, but she still has months to go before she receives her diploma.

Months until she can get her GED.

Jackie had tried - tried harder than Hyde had ever seen her try at anything - to continue her education when they'd left. She'd only managed the first semester of her junior year before bills piled too high and she'd been forced to quit to work more shifts. It had been for the best, in a way. The school in Indianapolis had been much more thorough than the one in Point Place, insisting on more paperwork and signatures and parent-teacher conferences. Hyde had forged her papers, had faked the signatures, had paid a man from the warehouse he'd been working at to pretend to be Jackie's father, but the facade had been a difficult one to maintain.

Hyde had never bothered, had decided the second they'd left that he was done with formal schooling, but Jackie had wanted so badly to graduate.

She will make it this time, he is sure of it. They are in a better place now. They will not want for money. Jackie will not be denied this again.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_They sat in Hyde's room - him smoking a blunt, her flipping through his records and sneering at each one. Finally, she found one she could stand and Freddie Mercury floated through the room, his voice mingling perfectly with the smoke._

_Jackie side-eyed the blunt as she sat on an old ottoman and Hyde stubbornly took another hit._

_"I think I know what I wanna do to Laurie."_

_Hyde was surprised, but he didn't know why. Laurie was just as wrong, just as much to blame, but for some reason he expected Jackie to focus on her boyfriend. She hadn't done anything to Pam Macy when the blonde had made out with Kelso, hadn't done anything when the two had gone to prom together; what made this situation so different? What made Laurie so special?_

_"I have to be able to act like I can stand to be around her, though," Jackie continued, oblivious to Hyde's thoughts. "But it's_ so hard!  _I pretended Llama Cass was her yesterday to practice and ended up throwing her out the window. I hate her." Jackie said it so matter-of-factly that Hyde almost laughed. He settled for a smirk as she continued. "I just want to rip her hair out,_ show it to her _, and hope it doesn't grow back."_

 _"You gotta be zen, man," Hyde said, taking another hit, feeling the smoke flow through him like the heat of the summer sun. He could feel his blood surging. He could hear colors. He could see Freddie's lyrics flow through the air. Leo had sold him some_ good shit _._

 _"You can't just_ make up _words, Steven." Jackie crossed her arms and looked at him like he had lost it. Maybe he had lost it. He could probably find it, though. If he bothered to look._

 _"Nah, man,_ zen _." The walls were moving. It was awesome. "At peace. Aloof._ Zen _."_

_Jackie's lips scrunched slightly, her eyebrows lowering in thought. She nodded._

_"Ok. Steven, will you teach me how to be zen?" She asked like she knew the answer, smiling at Hyde as he leaned back onto his cot. She didn't know the answer. She barely knew the question._

_"You can't teach zen, you can only learn zen."_

_"...I don't understand."_

_"Exactly. And that's your first lesson." He did say he'd help her, after all. And he_ did  _hate Laurie. He wondered what great revenge Jackie was plotting for her._

_"...Huh?"_

_"Jackie, if you wanna be my student, you need to follow my instructions without question."_

_"Ok! Ok, see, I can do that." She grinned and sat herself down next to him, turning to him attentively as he pulled himself up._

_"Ok." Hyde thought for a second and nodded. "First thing, take a hit."_

_He held the blunt out to her and she stared at it. She'd never done pot before. She'd never even been around it until that day, always excusing herself whenever the gang moved to start a circle. But then, Hyde had never invited her to stay before, either, and as the provider of the stash, he was the_ _person_ _who pick_ _ed_ _the ones who sat in. Hyde was asking her to join him, to participate in something important to him. She could turn him down - Hyde would still help her, wouldn't hold it against her - but this wasn't an offer that was made twice._

 _They were at a crossroads, a point where their relationship could change irrevocably; would they remain as they were, friendly but bonded almost exclusively in payback, or would Jackie try taking a step into_ his  _world, bringing them close enough that he could one day step into hers?_

_The lights were swirling and the walls were jumping and the heads on his record covers were floating and Jackie stared at him through the smoke as if she'd never seen him before._

_He started to pull the drug away, but she grabbed it and held it and_ breathed _._

Well, alright then. Let the lesson begin.

_"Repeat after me: whatever."_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Fez is a hopeless, sickening romantic. Jackie is in her element.

The Formans have gone home, leaving the friends alone to catch up. They grab food from The Hub and climb the water tower, for old time's sake. Fez decides it is the perfect opportunity to ask about their relationship. Not how it had happened, no, but how Hyde had proposed. What had they done for Valentine's Day. When was their anniversary. Could he look at their wedding rings.

Fez is unsurprised by Hyde's simple band, but the lack of diamonds on Jackie's hand throws him.

"Fez, you know we're poor, right?" Jackie asks, and Fez is thrown once again by how casually she says the word. "It's why we're having the ceremony eight years later?"

" _Yes_ ," Fez insists, "but I still did not expect you to agree to wear a ring without a rock. Kelso once mentioned that you would rather have a balloon tied around your finger than a diamond under two karats."

"I also once said tattoos are tacky, but I got one of those," Jackie says, raising her wedding ring to show the  _S_  on her finger, carefully recreated in Hyde's handwriting. Hyde absently rubs at his ring, under which Jackie's pretty cursive  _J_ rests. Fez sees the gesture and gasps.

" _Matching tattoos_. How  _sweet_!"

Jackie grins. It had been her idea, once Hyde had made it clear that it would take a while to save up for a ring for himself.

( _"Besides, tattoos don't come off. No affairs for you, mister,"_ she had joked when she'd led him to the tattoo parlor. The married owners had given them a special price. Hyde used them for every tattoo after that.)

"Now, tell me, how did Hyde propose?"

The two chatter on, Hyde grinning at the over romanticized lies Jackie spins in each story. Fez knows Hyde would never go horseback riding, never hire a skywriter or release a flock of doves with flowers in their beaks, but the foreigner enjoys the tales nonetheless, absently wondering over the true in the false.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hyde had asked when Jackie was finally eighteen. There had been no big to-do, but there had been dinner and music and a speech, romantic in his own Hyde way.

He hadn't written her a song, hadn't bought her a pony or made her a banner, but he'd given her a life she was happy to live, a love she was happy to have, a person she was happy to be, gratefully returning each favor she'd given him since they'd joined forces all those years ago.

It had just been another under-thought idea in a series of under-thought ideas. (A way to make apartment hunting easier, he had said. Health insurance more inclusive, banking options more agreeable. Really, it had been a way to make sure no one could take her from him if they were ever hunted down. It was no longer his arms they would have to pry apart, but a legally binding, government recognized contract, and  _fuck_ were those hard to unravel.) It hadn't been the right time, nor the right place, nor the right reasons, but she had said yes.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"I miss being in a relationship," Fez laments, looking wistfully at the stars that had long since appeared. "Maybe I should try settling down with one girl again."

"Do what you wanna do, man," Hyde says. His arm winds its way around Jackie. Her body leans into his.

He had missed this view.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Four**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still short and slow going, but I'm getting there. So you know, it'll be a while before everyone gets together as a gang again, what with adult lives getting in the way.
> 
> So yeah, Jackie and Hyde never graduated high school. Hyde doesn't care but Jackie does, but every time she takes the GED courses, something happens that forces her to drop out again and take up more work shifts. For a time she just gave up, but she's trying again now! She hasn't told any of the old gang that she's a drop out, preferring to let them think "night classes" means college courses.
> 
> ALSO, I've never smoked pot, so I'm basing Hyde's state of mind off of the show's circle scenes.


	5. Chapter Five

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Jackie and Fez go tux fitting. Hyde is invited, of course, but that is one rabbit hole he will never willingly fall in to. Instead, he goes for a walk.

Nothing's changed. He isn't surprised - he never expected change from a town like Point Place - but it's eerie in a way.  _Nothing's_  changed... except him. That tree he had once fallen out of stands just as tall, but he can easily reach the lower branches now. That wall he would lean against is just as boring, but he now knows it's a library. Edna's old house is just as broken, but he is no longer trapped inside.

He passes the police station. He doesn't remember the interior. He had spent so many years convinced the cells would be his home, and he can't even remember the color of the walls.

He wonders if they will come for him, if they can. He had been an adult when he and Jackie had run - eighteen to her sixteen. Does that qualify as kidnapping? Does anyone still care?

He finds the park, finds a bench, and lights the one cigarette he'd saved from Jackie's most recent purge.

There is nothing else to do.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Hunting was weird. Hyde wasn't big on killing his own food, and he sure as hell wasn't big on accidentally eating crow. Fez was lucky he could still feel his arm after that. Moron._

_Hyde had barely spent time with Forman, which worked out because that had given Red the opportunity for some father-son bonding. Hyde could think of no better punishment for the money stash debacle._

_He was also twice as eager about Jackie's plan for Laurie, even if the cheerleader refused to give him any details just yet._

_"Laurie cheats at poker," Jackie said. She threw herself on to her bed and grabbed a slice of pizza. Hyde put out his cigarette, knowing how she hated the smell._

_"Tell me something I don't know." He took a drink. Jack Burkhart apparently felt beer was too low-class, but he had an excellent liquor cabinet with a_ very  _easy to jimmy lock._

_"Mrs. Forman sucks at poker."_

_"Not surprised."_

_Technically, they were there for a planning session. That was their excuse, at least. There was nothing new to go over, but hey, pizza. Hey, booze. Hey, a reason to spend time with one of the few human beings he didn't actively hate._

_And Hyde had a question he was just buzzed enough to ask._

_"Why you goin' after Laurie?"_

_Jackie stared at him, one eyebrow raised condescendingly. Hyde clarifies;_

_"You didn't go after Pam Macy."_

_"He didn't do it with Pam Macy."_

_"Yes he did."_

_"Well, I didn't know that."_

_"Did so."_

_Jackie put her pizza back in the box and rolled onto her back. Hyde took one look at her and rolled over, too. This, he was familiar with, this thing Jackie did when it was easier to talk to the room than to talk to him._

_"Pam Macy was just sort of there," she said, eyes firmly on the ceiling. "We've never talked. We've never had a class together. The only reason we know who the other even_ is  _is because everyone knows us." She paused, and Hyde could feel her waiting for him to figure it out._

_"This is about Vanstock."_

_There was a pause. He heard the sheets rustle as she nodded, heard her take a deep breath before she spoke, but the crack in her voice was still present;_

_"I thought we were friends." She cleared her throat, brutally shoving the emotion down. "Or maybe not_ friends _, but I thought we would get there. We had so much fun gossiping and talking about clothes and nails, and the whole time she was sleeping with my boyfriend."_

_Hyde moved his arm towards her, fingers barely touching her shoulder. He felt her hand brush against him in return._

_"She didn't even care."_

_She was crying. Hyde couldn't see it, and she didn't make a sound, but he knew it was happening. He didn't know what to do. Did she want a hug? Did she want him to shit talk Laurie? Change the subject? Say everything would be all right? There was no right answer, and he was suddenly, ruthlessly glad she didn't want to look at him._ He  _didn't want to look at him._

He _was the one who'd convinced Jackie to come._ He'd _gotten them talking about shared interests._ He  _had been so focused on screwing with Kelso that he didn't even think about Jackie's feelings, hadn't even registered that she had any._

 _This was his fault, and he had nothing to give her in apology, so he did what he would want her to do for him; he ignored it. She would cry her tears and wipe her face and they would act like nothing had happened, and maybe next time - and there_ would  _be a next time at the rate things were going - he could offer her something better than silence._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The tux Fez gets is simple, classic. The tie is not. He is very excited about it.

"It's an  _accent piece_ ," Fez says happily. They're in the Formans' living room. Fez is modeling his new outfit. "A pop of color to draw the eye and make me stand out from the others."

"I think I might actually use him as a bridesmaid," Jackie muses, adjusting the suit. She pats Fez on the shoulder and he begins doing a runway walk.

"Yay!" Fez claps and Hyde frowns.

"You really wanna put up with the guys down at the shop complaining that they weren't in the wedding party?" Hyde asks.

"Good point." Jackie frowns. "Sorry, Fez."

" _Boo_."

Jackie has made friends with every mechanic at the garage. Hyde would be worried for her if all of them weren't at least fifty and full of stories about why Jackie reminds them of their kids.

(They had an arm wrestling competition to see who would walk her down the aisle. Jackie said she would walk herself. They pouted for days.)

"We'll do an awesome dance routine at the reception, though," Jackie promises. Fez's face lights up and he pulls Jackie into his arms, leading her in a dance through the room.

"Careful where you put your hands," Hyde warns as Jackie giggles, her hair brushing the floor as Fez bends her into a dip.

"I cannot help what I do on the dance floor," Fez insists. "My body has a mind of its own."

"You won't be able to do  _anything_ on the dance floor if you don't watch where you put your hands."

Fez pulls Jackie back up with a brief mutter of "killjoy".

"Well, you can dance in the suit," Jackie says happily. "Just don't stain it or gain any weight until after the wedding."

"Ai-ai, boss!" Fez salutes and Hyde rolls his eyes, a genuine smile hidden behind his smirk. Fez is still as much of a dork as he'd been in high school. Hyde wonders who protected him from the jocks when he left.

"Anyway, Steven, I found  _the_ cutest garter." Jackie shows him a small white bag. "You can guess what it looks like because it's a surprise,  _but_  if the guys don't fistfight over it, I'll be genuinely shocked."

"Wanna make a bet on it?" Hyde raises an eyebrow.

"What do you have to bet with?" Jackie sits beside him and slings one of her legs between his.

"I like where this is going." Fez's voice reminds them they're not alone and Jackie stands again amidst their friend's whining. Hyde leaves to get another beer, punching Fez's shoulder on his way. The kitchen is empty. The  _house_ is empty but for the three friends. Mrs. Forman has book club. Mr. Forman is sneaking his weekly greasy cheeseburger. The neighborhood children have all moved away.

It's weird to witness. This house -  _The_ House - is so quiet. There is no basketball in the driveway, no TV in the basement, no arguing children upstairs. The fridge is not equipped to feed ten at a moment's notice. The world outside has been frozen for years, but the house feels so wrong. Of all the things to change, why this?

"Mom, I'm home!"

Well, some things stay the same.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The circle is strange without the smoke. There are no baggies hidden in the basement. Hyde doesn't have a stash. The smell has long since faded from the furniture and Hyde wonders once again if the others managed to stay supplied with him gone.

Everyone holds a beer. The posters aren't talking and everyone's head is solidly connected to their neck, but the edges of Hyde's vision are slightly blurred. He finishes his can and Jackie silently trades the empty out for her untouched one.

" _Brooke Rockwell_ painted  _'don't date Kelso'_  on the welcome sign?"

"He didn't make a very good impression on her."

"On an unrelated note, mentioning that you dated two women at the same time while you're on a first date with the mother of your child is a bad idea."

 _Classic Kelso,_  Hyde thinks.  _Never knows when to shut up._ He doesn't catch the implications.

Jackie does.

"Michael dated two girls at once?" She sounds curious, suspicious, as if this is new information to her. She is looking for support, an admission of guilt, an acknowledgment of the information her friends - his friends,  _their friends_ \- had kept from her with so little care for so very long. Hyde knows even as she asks that she will not get what she wants.

"Yeah... uh, a few months after you two disappeared, he dated sisters."

Hyde has no doubt that Kelso dated two sisters at once, just as he has little doubt that anyone will mention Kelso's other indiscretions.

The damage is long done, the wounds long healed. Jackie has not been hurt by Kelso's betrayal in years, only the faint sting against her ego affecting her anymore. Hyde doesn't hold such actions against Kelso, not now, not when they've lead to the life he holds so dearly. But this - this hurts. Kelso's secrets are ancient and still, the others keep them. Do they really think they do anyone favor with this? Do they really think he would hide such things from his wife?

Hyde doesn't know who they're working to protect with their silence, only that it feels like a new betrayal, this lack of caring for Jackie and him. This lack of respect. The silence sounds like apathy. It  _tastes_ like apathy. It lingers in the air, sharp and ringing. It hangs heavy on the tongue like bitter syrup. He and Jackie are the only ones who seem affected, their mouths twisted unpleasantly, and Hyde doesn't know if he has the right to be surprised. Why shouldn't they hold Kelso's confidence? He didn't disappear into the night without so much as a goodbye, didn't reappear with no warning or explanation. Kelso never vanished, and maybe Hyde  _doesn't_ have the right, but he is hurt.

Kelso is a bad friend an awful boyfriend and a good person. He is a screw up but he tries to do right and Hyde is not sorry for the things he has done to him - refuses to be when he remembers the tears Jackie had shed for him and the love Hyde has made for her - but he sees why Kelso's is the side their friends have taken. A line is drawn. Once again, he and Jackie stand apart from the crowd.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Kelso was failing all his classes. Even with someone turning in his copied homework, it was nowhere near enough to make up for all the missed schoolwork. He'd stopped showing up at lunch since the teachers would take the opportunity to confront him._

_Kelso would probably still be failing even without Hyde and Jackie's interference. Kelso was a math whiz and he was surprisingly good with technology, but he was also debilitatingly naive and had the attention span of a goldfish. It was only a matter of time before he started flunking on his own. He'll be fine, anyway. He's good looking, he'll become a model or marry rich._

_(That's what Hyde told Jackie. They weren't actually_ ruining _his life, not exactly. Kelso would be_ fine _, he'd just have much fewer options in the future. He didn't want those options, anyway, and come on. Lawyer? Doctor? It would never work. Kelso was destined to coast by on his looks or end up at Fatso Burger. Hyde had always known that, just as he knew Donna was going to become a writer and Forman was going to be her house-husband and Hyde would end up in jail. Jackie hadn't known, but she was learning.)_

_Jackie was getting closer to Laurie._

_Hyde didn't know how she was managing it. She came to him every time, full of insults and hate, the second she and Laurie were done hanging out. Hyde never could have imagined she would take to zen so well._

_"She's seeing a guy," Jackie told him one day. "Doesn't want to tell me who because it's 'still early'." She sneered, angrily filing down a nail. "She wants my advice. Can you_ believe _her? Asking_ my  _advice on dating_ my  _boyfriend?"_

_"What'd she wanna know?"_

_"How to get him to stop mentioning his ex."_

_"Please say you told her to cut him off."_

_"Can't. He might get after me more and I'm running out of excuses. I told her to use negative reinforcement."_

_"What, kick him as a training technique?"_

_"Like a dog."_

_Kelso had gotten whiny. He'd picked flowers, taken Jackie to restaurants, bought stuffed animal after stuffed animal in an attempt to show he was romantic, but Jackie had turned him away every time._

_(The flowers went to the trash, the toys to the fireplace. Kelso wasn't allowed near her room anymore. He never knew all his gifts were for nothing.)_

_"Kelso's a tool," Hyde said. "Want me to dare him to make bottle rocket boots? He'll be too injured to grab at you."_

_"_ Thank you _, Steven," Jackie said, her hand over her heart and her voice very sincere. "But I have a plan." Hyde raised his eyebrow encouragingly. "I'm going to throw a very small classy party."_

_"...And?"_

_"Michael's going to ruin it like he always does and boom, new reason to cut him off."_

_"You are an evil, evil little woman." Hyde smiled. "Don't ever change."_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

They are quieter that night when they get ready for bed. Eric is just across the hall and they don't know how prone to eavesdropping he may have gotten in the past nine years.

"Fez is still a great dancer," Jackie says, crawling into bed. She still stiffens at the feel of the sheets, but had barely paused at the threshold. She is getting more tolerant of their quarters, but she will never be content. "Eric is still a mama's boy." She turns and Hyde curls around her back. "Nothing's changed."  _They still don't give a damn about me._

"That's not true."  _That's_ not  _true._ "Fez hasn't  _once_ tried to stroke your hair." Jackie giggles and scoots farther back into his arms. "And Forman hasn't tried to kick you out. Remember how much he liked doing that?"  _They're your friends, they are. This is just a weird time._

"Only because they know you'll punch them."  _I don't believe you._

"I punch them anyway."  _You will._

Hyde kisses the back of her neck. She exhales happily, tightly gripping one of his arms around her waist.

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Five**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not much of a drinker, either, so I couldn't do a lot of dialogue for the beer circle.
> 
> Again, not as long as I would prefer, but there's gonna be more flashbacks from this point on so that should change. Also, at the time I'm posting this, I only have ONE more chapter already written, so updates will probably slow down from here onward.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said I wasn't going to post Ch6 until Ch7 was finished but I'm TRASH and a LIAR and Ch7 was TAKING TOO LONG so here we are. Updates are _definitely_ going to be slowing down from this point onward, but **don't worry**. This story **_will not_** be abandoned. I'm just at a really tricky point in the plot right now, but the entire story is outlined -- which is a lot more than I usually do for my stories -- I just need to flesh everything out now. Anyway, on with the show!

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Fez leaves soon after breakfast. Donna arrives just in time for lunch. The time in between is spent as they had spent it before - watching TV and shooting hoops. Jackie leans against the car, fussing over a set of knitting needles Mrs. Forman has lent her. She's decided to learn to make scarves for the guys at the garage.

Mrs. Forman calls them in for lasagna right as Donna's taxi pulls up.

("Why didn't you just pick her up, Forman?"

"Donna feels better having someone watch you at all times."

"...That's fair.")

"The article came out ok," Donna says. "The higher ups are still debating running it-"

"Cowards," Red interjects. Donna raises her glass to him.

"-but it's written, so I did my part. It's out of my hands." She helps herself to a serving of potatoes as the bowl makes its rounds. "So what have you guys been doing?" Donna turns to Jackie and Hyde.

"You know, just hanging around," Jackie answers. "Not like there's much to do in this place."

"Swing by Madison sometime," Donna suggests. "There's a community center with a bunch of hobbyist classes and our couch pulls out."

"Steven!" Jackie gasps and grabs his arm excitedly. "We could take a pottery class!"

"Yeah, Steven." Eric grins mockingly. "You can make a pretty vase."

"Actually, we need serving dishes," Jackie corrects him. "Our salad bowl is chipped."

"Doll, you know I hate learning things," Hyde says. His tone is teasing in a way only she can tell. She teases back, her eyes growing wide and her lips forming a playful pout.

"Please?"

"That's cheating."

"I know." She smiles gleefully and kisses his cheek. She knows she's won. "How does Saturday sound?" she asks Donna, but Mrs. Forman quickly intervenes.

"Now, now!" she says, waving her hands senselessly. She lets out an awkward laugh. "Let's not go talking about leaving! We only just got you back, after all!"

"We're only-"

"So! Eric! What are you and your little theater friends working on?"

Eric glances at Hyde uncertainly before answering his mother. Hyde tunes out the conversation, instead sharing a look with Jackie. Does Mrs. Forman think they're moving back? Or does she just not want to think about the inevitable? They will leave. They  _are_ leaving. With every moment spent back in Point Place, they await their next escape. They can't stay. Hyde has his store to run. Jackie has her studies and the garage. They have new friends, new lives. Point Place is… not home. Not now. Not anymore.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Kelso burned her house. He_ burned.  _Her_ house _. There was messing up and there was giving the government a reason to lock you away for the safety of others and Kelso was usually a lot more careful about dancing over that line._

_Jackie had been in her room with Donna, acting shocked at Kelso's stupidity. Hyde had been in the garage with Kat Peterson, defiling various cars. There hadn't been anyone to keep Kelso in line._

_"How the hell can he not know booze is flammable?" Hyde wondered, contemplating his own glass of gin._

_"I don't know and I don't care," Jackie said, angrily pulling pins out of her hair. "You can tell him to make bottle rocket boots, now."_

_"On it, doll." Hyde raised his glass to her and took another sip. "I should've kept a better eye on him. Sorry."_

_"It's not your fault." Jackie lined her hair pins up and picked up a brush. "Michael's and idiot and beyond help and I know you were with Kat somewhere." Hyde smirked proudly. "Not_ here _, right?" Jackie made a face at the idea._

_"Of course not." Hyde made a face, too. "Who can get in the mood with two hundred little eyes watching?"_

_"Shut up."_

_Hyde looked around at Jackie's room and was reminded how incredibly_ young _she was. It was stupid, he knew - he was only a year and a half older than her - but_ god _, she was young. Her room was all… rainbows and unicorns and Peter Frampton. Take away the make up and Jackie might as well have been eleven._

_"I'm almost done with Laurie."_

_"Are you?" Hyde still didn't know what the plan was, but he was eager for it to be over. All the fake make-nice-ing was cutting into their hang out time. Soon he would start to actually_ miss  _the little brunette._

_"Give me til this time next month," Jackie said, her voice sure, "and we'll never have to worry about that cheap slut again."_

_Hyde raised his glass to her again and she smiled back in the mirror._

_"I am liking you more and more." He downed the rest of his drink and grabbed his jacket. "I gotta head out before Red realizes I'm still gone. See ya later, Jackie."_

_"See ya." Jackie pecked him on the cheek as he made his way out._

_Hyde couldn't wait for all the Laurie stuff to be done with._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Jackie is with Red. Eric is with his mother. Donna is with Hyde.

It's their first moment alone since he and Jackie arrived. It is not as he expects. Spending time with Donna is… different in a way Hyde can't quite describe. He's known her as long as he's known Eric, but they don't click back together the way he and Eric had. There's a different bond in brotherhood than in the closeness he and Donna once shared. Donna is not so quick to forgive.

They're friendly. They talk. There is an awkwardness that was never there before.

Donna disapproves of him - of them. He doesn't know the specifics, doesn't know if her grudge is for their leaving or their loving or their return, and he does not ask. The ice is too thin.

"A lot has changed, you know," Donna says. Her fingers twitch, searching for a way to occupy themselves. They find only air. "I know it doesn't seem like it, what with this being Point Place and everything, but it's true."

"I know." He knows what she's saying; Donna's changed. He's changed. He had shattered a once solid bond and has yet made no attempt to rebuild the foundation. The weight of their former friendship hangs heavy between them, the words he has long left unsaid bubble in the pit of his throat. He swallows them back down. "This place has a library now."

"It's always had a library, Hyde."

"If you say so."

He reads the questions in her face;  _Why did you leave? Why didn't you contact anyone? Why didn't you say goodbye? Why why why…._

He has no answers worth listening to;  _we had to, we couldn't, you would never have let us go._

Neither of them say anything worth saying. Neither touch the elephant in the room.

"So how're you and Forman doing?"

Neither reach across the gap.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_The Pinciottis decided to renew their vows and Jackie decided that weddings were the only thing worth talking about every time she and Hyde hung out._ Every sentence  _was_ "When  _I_  get married…"  _and Hyde was about to lose it. No more did they discuss shitty friends or shitty exes or books or politics or chess. Suddenly, everything was about the perfect hair to match the perfect dress to match the perfect shoes to blah-dee blah blah blah._

_Kelso complained about Jackie treating him weird since he burned her house. He mentioned how strange it was that she didn't bring up any wedding stuff. Hyde nearly decked him._

_"For my wedding-"_

_They were in Hyde's room again. Jackie was back to acting like a princess. Hyde was back to pretending to listen. It was all very counterproductive._

_"Yeah, yeah, unicorns will fly your to your honeymoon in Paris," Hyde said snidely. "Will you_ stop _already?"_

_Jackie pouted and crossed her arms._

_"Well_ so-rry _, Steven, I didn't realize I was boring you."_

_"Well, you are." Hyde decided to take the opening and reached under his bed for a game box. "Wanna play chess?"_

_"Not if you're going to be a jerk."_

_"How is it being a jerk to not want to talk about weddings?" Despite Jackie's refusal, Hyde started setting up the chessboard. He moved a pawn._

_"Because it's_ my _wedding," Jackie pointed out insistently. "I mean, I can understand not wanting to talk about the Pinciottis' wedding - green and gold? I know it's Wisconsin, but come on! - but we're friends, aren't we? And friends listen to friends talk about their future."_

_"Not if you're gonna talk about weddings."_

_"Steven!" Jackie's pout twisted to a more neutral expression and she sat across from Hyde. She moved a pawn to mirror Hyde's. "What's your deal with weddings, anyway?"_

_Hyde moved another pawn._

_"What's_ your  _deal?" he shot back as Jackie made her move. He looked at the board. "The Slav Defense? Ok."_

_"I know, I know, I'll have less room, but I want to try something," she said. "And what do you mean, 'my deal'?"_

_"You are_ way  _too into planning for something that won't happen for another decade." Hyde yelped when Jackie smacked his arm._

_"Don't you ever say I'll be unwed at twenty-six, Steven Hyde," she said firmly, her finger only inches from his face. She held it there until Hyde nodded. "Weddings take a_ lot  _to plan. I have to start planning now if it's gonna be perfect."_

_"Doll, you can't make any solid plans until you have a date," Hyde pointed out reasonably. "Fashions change, people move, stores open and close." Hyde carefully nudged a bishop while he talked. Jackie just as carefully nudged it back._

_"No cheating until I'm better at this." She had sharper eyes than he thought. "And all my planning now is just a dry run for my actual wedding."_

_"Why do you care so much? It's just another party," Hyde asked._

_"Why do you_ hate  _it so much? It's just another party," Jackie countered, both verbally and on the board. It cost her a rook but she didn't look worried about it._

_"A ten thousand dollar party with monkey suits and poofy dresses and shitty food where you have to stand up in front of everyone you know and give an overpriced rock to some chick who's gonna associate how much you love her with how big the stone is and talk about_ feelings _." Hyde studied the board. Jackie was getting good, but not good enough. He moved a bishop. "Check."_

_"A party where you get an excuse to dress like a princess and be the center of attention - not that I need a party for that - and be surrounded by everyone you care about to celebrate your love. And bring you presents." Jackie studied the board for a moment before maneuvering her pieces out of check. She looked back up at Hyde. "It's looking at the person you love and saying 'I_ know _I'm going to love you forever, and to prove it, I'll stand in front of all our family and friends and swear it'."_

_"It's an obvious trap."_

_"It's romantic!"_

_"I meant the board." Jackie had blatantly set up her knight as a sacrifice to get Hyde's queen out of the way._

_"Oh."_

_"But also, marriage."_

_"Steven!"_

_"And also, checkmate."_

_Jackie pouted and threw her king at him._

_"Don't be a sore loser, Beulah."_

_Jackie threw her queen and pouted harder. Hyde sighed._

_"Come on, grasshopper." He dumped the game pieces back into the box and pulled Jackie up from the bed. "If I take you to see that new John Travolta movie, will you stop making that face?"_

_Jackie paused to consider it._

_"Will you_ not  _make rude comments the whole time?"_

_"Buy me some popcorn and we'll see."_

_Jackie smiled as Hyde wrapped an arm around her shoulder._

_"As long as you share."_

_"Yeah, yeah." He lead her out of his room. "Now let's go while Marcus is still on shift. I deal to him sometimes, he'll give us a discount."_

_"On the food, right?" Jackie asked. "Because the theater never locks their side door, so there's no way I'm giving ticket money to those morons."_

_Hyde smirked proudly._

_"You're coming along nicely."_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Eventually, Jackie and Eric join Hyde and Donna in the basement. Their awkward small talk is put to an end and new awkward small talk takes its place.

_"Why do 80's fashions suck? I mean, shoulder pads? And I like bows as much as the next girl, but I saw some on a cocktail dress the other day and it was_ hideous _."_

_"You better get us a good wedding present. And no going in for one gift, that crap only works for married couples."_

_"Is that the new episode?" "I don't think so." "Damn it."_

"Dude, you watch  _The Golden Girls_?" Hyde asks. Jackie gently smacks him on the shoulder. She watches  _The Golden Girls_ , too.

"Donna does," Eric protests. Hyde turns to her.

"It's refreshing to see a show starring women who aren't sexualized," Donna tells him.

In the background, a character speaks;  _"I'm tired of lying on my back.… Did I just say that?"_

"Except her."

"Uh-huh."

"Well, it's better than old  _Vegas_ reruns," Donna insists.

"My dad loved that show," Eric says.

"Not surprised."

"Kelso loved it too, til he got turned away from the police academy," Eric continues.

Hyde's grip tightens on Jackie's thigh. Jackie places her hand over his, hiding his reaction from their friends.

"Kelso wanted to be a  _cop_?" Hyde asks.

"Yeah," Donna answers. "At least, he did when he saw  _Vegas_."

"So… he wanted to drive a convertible and hang out with showgirls?" Jackie says.

"And he thought the uniform would keep him looking young and hot forever, but they turned him down."

"And  _thank God_. I mean, can you imagine Kelso with a gun?"

Eric and Donna talk, going on about the horrors of a Kelso loose in the world with a cop's resources. All their points are valid. Every scenario is a disaster waiting to happen. Kelso with a gun. Kelso with a patrol car. Kelso with flares, with a baton, with handcuffs, with pepper spray. A worse idea does not exist in their world.

"It's kind of sad, though. He actually  _really_ wanted to be a cop."

Jackie's hand tightens over her husband's.

They did  _not_ ruin his life. They  _didn't_. Kelso makes good money as a model. He's so concerned with his looks, he might as well get paid for them. And he would never have lasted as a cop. He would have shot someone by accident - most likely himself. They did a  _good_  thing, clearly. They have nothing to feel guilty about.

They don't feel guilty.

They can't.

"Can we watch something else? Rose looks like my grandma and it's creeping me out."

"No."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Saturday Night Fever  _was a god awful movie and Jackie didn't say a word about it as they left the theater. How the hell had anyone classified that as a romance? Not that Hyde watched romance movies, but still. Even he knew that was bullshit._

_The ride to the Burkhart Mansion was uneventful. The lack of parents in the building was unsurprising. Jackie put on an Elton John album and Hyde laid down on the bed, not really in the mood for pot or booze._

_Tony was a hypocritical jackass and Hyde wanted to punch John Travolta in the face._

_"Tony Manero's an ass," Jackie said as she laid down beside Hyde, curling around him, her head on his chest._

_Hyde was used to it. Jackie was a very physical person, very hands-on with both her affection and her dislike. It took some time, but he didn't find it uncomfortable anymore._

_"I thought_ Saturday Night Fever  _was supposed to be a fun dance movie and instead two women get assaulted." She gripped tight to his shoulder._

_"You ok, Beulah?"_

_"Tony was supposed to be the good guy." She gripped harder. He placed his hand over hers._

_"There's no such thing as good guys," Hyde said. "Just guys that suck less than the other ones."_

_"You're a good guy." She said it with certainty, not as if she was trying to convince him, not as if she was trying to convince herself, but as a simple statement of fact that he had overlooked. The sun was yellow, the winter was cold, Steven Hyde was a good guy._

_"Thanks, doll."_

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road  _played in the background. Jackie intertwined her legs with his. Hyde wondered what time it was, wondered if he needed to leave for the Formans' yet._

_"We have some guest rooms made up," Jackie said without prompting._

_"You askin' me to stay over?" It wouldn't be the first time. Jackie didn't like being alone and Hyde didn't like the idea of her wandering around a big empty house, easy pickings for a number of criminals he knew would have no problem hurting a young girl. He'd need to call the Formans with some sort of excuse, but it was doable. Hyde turned to tell her, and she rose up to face him._

_She tasted like bubble gum._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Dinner is quiet. It isn't quiet in the way most things are, not quiet in the literal sense, but nothing of substance is said. Realistically, it's no worse than a normal dinner - who regularly discusses heavy topics at mealtimes? - but it feels like a cop out. They have years worth of conversations to get through and they've only shared the bare minimum.

Jackie tells the story of them finding their first apartment as a married couple, tells them how much easier it was to face judgmental landlords while wearing matching rings. (Something they should not have worried about at the tender ages of eighteen and nineteen.)

Eric and Donna talk about the birth of Betsy Rockwell-Kelso, about the excitement Kelso felt when he heard Brooke was in labor, about how he cried the first time he held his daughter. (Something they should have been there to witness for themselves.)

Mrs. Forman talks about Red's muffler shop, how he owned it for less than a year, how stubbornly he'd fought Muffler Masters when they'd arrived in town, at least until they offered him enough money to retire on. (Something they should have helped with, with their sure hands and devious minds.)

She mentions how they considered moving to Florida and living out their retirement there, Kitty doing her charity work and Red helping out at Bob Pinciotti's bait shop, before they ultimately decided against it.

"Point Place is small, but it's home, you know?" Mrs. Forman says. "Plus, all the kids were gone so we had to stay in case-" She stops and the air becomes heavy.

_"-In case you two came back."_ It hangs in the silence, unspoken but undeniably there. Someone bites in to a carrot stick. Someone sets down their glass.

"So… Steven," Red says, stubbornly cutting through the tension, "how long've you worked at that record store?"

"Little under six years now." Hyde grabs for the lifeline, for a new conversation topic that won't cut out as soon as the speaker realizes they're discussing something the others would have known already had they lived in a perfect world. "Made manager after about a year and a half."

(They’d run a background check -- standard procedure, they’d said -- and Hyde had been terrified for weeks after learning that, constantly going over escape routes and keeping packed suitcases and emergency cash in the car, just waiting for the day his bosses called the cops and told them they’d found the man who’d kidnapped poor Jackie Burkhart. Jackie had spent as much time as possible visiting him at the store, making sure the higher-ups saw her there, happy and healthy and in love, trying to re-twist the narrative to two dumb teenagers who'd only wanted to be together, trying to bury any potential thought of the stolen girl and the delinquent.)

(The cops never came. His bosses never discussed it.)

"Good for you, Steven." Red passes Hyde the mashed potatoes. "Jackie? Steven mentioned a few days ago that you help with the paperwork?"

"Oh! Yes." Jackie grabs just as desperately and quickly launches into the business end of running a record store, adding every unnecessary detail she can think of to keep the conversation rolling. Hyde wraps his leg around hers. She grips her fork tight.

Dinner is quiet. Their thoughts are loud.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_If there was one thing Hyde had never considered before, it was kissing Jackie Burkhart. Honestly, the thought had never crossed his mind. Sure, she was good looking and fun to spend time with and interesting to talk to, but the idea of their lips touching had never truly occurred to him._

_Nevertheless, muscle memory had him kissing her back. It was familiar; a pretty girl, an empty house, an available bed. He was lost in it for a second. Then he pushed Jackie onto the floor._

_"Bad Jackie!"_

_"But Steven-!"_

_"No!"_

_Jackie pulled herself up and tried to reach for Hyde, but he leapt off the bed and backed away, not stopping until he bumped into the dresser. Jackie stared after him, her eyes wet and her expression so very sad. Hyde stared back._

_"You can't do that, kid."_

_Jackie's jaw clenched. Hyde hadn't called her "kid" in months, preferring "Jackie" or "doll". The significance of the word's reappearance wasn't lost on her._

_"Why not?" The way she said it, it was barely a question, more an order. She didn't ask, she demanded. Hyde respected that, he just wished she didn't demand from him._

_"You know why not, Jackie."_

_"_ No _, I don't. Explain it to me." A tear leaked out, and she stubbornly ignored it. Hyde wanted to wipe it away. Hyde wanted to ignore it, too. He opened his mouth- "And don't you fucking say 'Kelso'." He closed it again. She let out a bitter laugh. "We're broken up. You_ know _we're broken up. The only person who_ doesn't  _know is_ him _!"_

_"That's_ not it _."_

_"_ Then what is? _"_

_"_ I won't be your rebound! _"_

_More tears fell, but they were just as ignored as the first one. Jackie's chin shook and she clenched her jaw again, clenched her fists, clenched her eyes shut._

_"You're my friend, Jackie," Hyde said. He reached out for her briefly, but dropped his hand before it could get too close. "I can't just avoid you when you bounce back. Not you."_

_"...I'm_ not _on the rebound."_

_"You don't get to decide that." She opened her eyes again and glared at him. She looked more sad than angry. "You might not feel like you're rebounding, but you are. Your first serious boyfriend cheated on you and lied about it for months, you're still technically 'dating' him while you get revenge, and I'm the only person who you_ know  _is gonna pick your side when all of this is over." Hyde stepped forward, his arms slightly open. Jackie stepped back. "I'm not gonna take advantage of that, Jackie. You can't ask me to."_

_Jackie looked down, her hands coming up to cover her face. She moved them like she wasn't sure which part to hide first._

_"Just go away."_

_She needed some privacy, and Hyde didn't know what else to say anyway._

_"I'll call you, ok?"_

_He left. He ignored the sobbing behind him._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"So, Kelso's coming tomorrow."

"I know."

Her arms tighten around him. He squeezes back.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Sleep doesn't come easy.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Six**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, next chapter is when things start picking up. As mentioned above, Kelso will be making a reappearance, and as Kitty said in chapter 2? 3? he will be bringing Betsy. Full honesty, don't know what I'm gonna do about Betsy, so that'll be a surprise for all of us. ALSO, drama in the flashbacks! I do know what I'm gonna do about that, and it's gonna be fun. For me, at least.
> 
> ALSO ALSO, I haven't actually seen _Saturday Night Fever_ so I'm just going by what I've read on their wiki page and various other spoiler sites.
> 
> See ya next time!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be mostly flashbacks because I screwed myself saying I was gonna bring Betsy in when I had no idea what to do with her and also a lot of flashback drama shit needs to happen so have fun with that.
> 
> Also, **minor edits to Ch3:**
> 
> ONE - I changed Jack Burkhart's sentence from 10 years to 15. It didn't make sense for Hyde and Jackie to plan their wedding ceremony so close to her father's release instead of waiting for him to get out. Even if Jackie weren't a daddy's girl, the reason they returned to Point Place was to try and rebuild relationships in time for their wedding, and with how reluctant they were to try, they would definitely have used Jack's upcoming release as an excuse to put it off.
> 
> TWO - there was a brief mention of a "phase two" to Jackie's revenge on Kelso (which was originally going to be the spreading of rumors about Kelso's sexual prowess/health), but it was scrapped for two reasons. Firstly, I couldn't find a proper place to insert it in the flashbacks and still have time to cover things that happened on the show and develop Hyde and Jackie's friendship. Secondly, reputation still matters to Jackie and she wouldn't want it getting around that she was with someone who was bad at sex/had some type of STI.
> 
>  **More Edits:** I _just_ posted this and I had to edit it again. I was just so excited to have the chapter done, I didn't do as many read-throughs as I usually do and missed a few things. They're very minor, they just make a few scenes make more sense. I went through so many versions of so many events in this chapter, some fractions of rejected sequences slipped through. Again, _very minor_ edits.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_The phone rang and rang when he called the next morning, the next afternoon, the next night. She never answered._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hyde doesn't want to get out of bed. The room is tainted but the sheets are warm and Jackie is soft and Kelso will be arriving soon and it just doesn't seem like a fair trade.

Kelso had been blindsided last they saw each other, so he'd calmed much quicker than he otherwise would've, but how long would that last? He's had time in Chicago to linger on  _whys_ and  _whens_ and  _for how longs_. He probably has a list of questions, none of which they will want to answer, and a sense of entitlement that won't allow him to let go. A girl Kelso had convinced himself he was in love with and one of his oldest friends had disappeared for nine years, only to return as a married couple. There has to be repercussions for that.

"You awake, baby?"

"No, but I bet I will be by the time you run downstairs and get me some pancakes."

"You want me to tell Mrs. Forman you're sick? Because that's what's gonna happen if you don't get your own breakfast."

"Mean."

They climb out of bed.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_The wedding was ridiculous, the food was cheap, and Mrs. Forman had somehow conned her way in to being a bridesmaid._

Good for her.

_Less good was Jackie. She didn't look at him. She didn't talk to him. She stared ahead, gently dabbing at her eyes during the vows before any tears could ruin her make up._

_Eric and Donna disappeared during the reception right as Leo and the missing Maid of Honor reappeared -_ Way to go, Leo, man  _\- and Hyde lost track of Jackie when he got roped into helping Mrs. Forman put away the chairs to make room for a dance floor. He looked away for_ two minutes _and Jackie vanished before he could get her to talk to him._

 _He'd done the right thing - he_ had _,_   _damn it - Jackie had to have seen that by now. He just had to find her and hear it for himself._

Shit, where is she?

_He went back to the living room and saw that Jackie had crawled out of whichever sofa she'd been hiding under. She was talking to Laurie, smiling and showing off a pink plate with a unicorn on it. Laurie smiled back, turning the plate in Jackie's hands to examine it. Jackie playfully pulled it away._

_Hyde wanted to go to her, to make her listen, but here wasn't the place. It wasn't the time._

_Jackie and Laurie linked arms and made their way to the next room. Hyde watched them leave._

_After the party. He would speak to her then._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Breakfast is tense. They don't mean it to be, but everyone knows who's coming to visit. Any attempt at conversation is quashed. No one wants to speak.

The rumble of an engine sounds from the driveway, followed by the slam of a car door and the slap of shoes against concrete. The door slides open.

"I'm here!" Kelso calls, a small child hanging from his arm like a teddy bear. "And I brought my baby girl!"

"Da- _aad!_ _"_

"My beautiful young lady!" Kelso looks down fondly at his daughter. "Sorry, pumpkin." She pats his arm and he sets her down gently.

She is pretty. It's impossible for her not to be, with her parents' genetics, but somehow Hyde still feels taken off-guard. Her hair is dark brown and lightly curled. Her skin is perfect, smooth, and her smile shines as bright as her father's. She has his smile. She has his nose and his jawline and his confidence. She bounds straight up to Jackie and Hyde.

"Hi!" she says cheerily. "I'm Betsy Rockwell-Kelso and I can do a cartwheel, wanna see?" She lifts her hands over her head and Kelso cheers before Mrs. Forman scoops her up and holds their faces close.

"Not in the house, honey," she chides gently, and Betsy lets out a disappointed whine as she's placed back down. Jackie giggles. Hyde grins.

"I'm Jackie and this is Steven," Jackie says, gesturing to each of them in turn. "We're almost done eating, and then we would  _love_ to see your cartwheel."

"Ok!" Betsy cheers. Kelso looks on proudly. Hyde taps his foot against his wife's. They hope the peace lasts.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1977**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_It was dark and freezing and if Jackie thought locking her window would stop Hyde from making her talk to him, she was wrong._

_The room was empty. The sheets were messy. Jackie's pink unicorn plate sat on her shelf, her smaller glass unicorns scattered on the dish. Hyde sat at the window seat and grabbed the pack of smokes he'd stashed underneath._

"Oh my god! _" Jackie jumped and clutched at her chest when she opened the door. Hyde lazily lit a cigarette and took a long drag. "_ Hyde!  _What are you doing here?"_

_"How'd you like the wedding?" Hyde asked. "I see what you mean now, about the green and gold. I think I went temporarily blind."_

_"Donna slept with Eric and one of her drunken uncles kept touching me. Why are you here?"_

Forman finally got some, huh?  _Hyde decided to contemplate that later, that and the reason he now had for the eyedrops he caught Kelso putting in some dude's drink. There were more important things to discuss._

_"You've been avoiding me." Hyde took another drag and habitually waved the smoke out the window. "Why have you been avoiding me?"_

_"You know why," Jackie answered bitterly. She went to her vanity and began her nightly skincare routine._

_"I wanna hear you say it."_

_She didn't._

_"Jackie?"_

_Jackie ignored him, roughly rubbing cream into her forehead. Hyde walked over to her, taking a deep drag off his cigarette, and blew it in her face._

"Hyde! _" Jackie coughed and waved the smoke away. "I have to start over, now!" She angrily grabbed at her moisturizers and tried to leave the room. Hyde blocked the door. "Hyde, move."_

_"Make me."_

_Jackie pushed at him, but he didn't budge. He pushed her back. Jackie crossed her arms and glared at him with hateful eyes. Hyde took his shades off and hooked them onto his shirt. He stared back._

_"Why are you avoiding me, Jackie?"_

_"Get out."_

_"No."_

"Get out! _"_

"No!"  _Jackie drew back, shocked. "You're gonna talk to me, damn it!" Hyde stared her down until she relented, until she turned and sat back at her vanity and began angrily wiping off her face cream. Hyde slowly made his way to her bed, ready to run back if she tried to escape again._

_Things were quiet._

_"Talk to me, doll."_

_Jackie glared at him through the mirror before closing her eyes. She took and deep breath, turned around, and walked to the bed. Hyde tensed, not wanting a repeat of their kiss, but she just laid down and looked at the ceiling. Hyde followed suit._

_"Why don't you like me?"_

_Hyde sighed. There were more than a few answers to that - none of which he felt like explaining to her - and he decided to skip over them, deciding to instead focus on his other reason for not going along with her Very Bad Idea._

_"It's not about me liking you, Jackie."_

_"Then what's it about?"_

_"It's about you liking me." Hyde wanted to roll over, to make her look at him so she could see how serious he was, but he didn't. Jackie rested her arm against his. "You're- Jackie-" Hyde hated the situation, hated that he had to talk about feelings, hated that he couldn't get the words out._

_"I'm what, Steven?" Jackie asked. "I'm on the rebound? I already heard that one! Is it_ that _hard to believe that I wanna be with you?"_

 _It shouldn't have been like this. How hard was it to say,_ 'Jackie, you're really vulnerable right now and I don't want you doing something you'd regret that could ruin what we have' _? The words were there, ready to exist, but he couldn't let them out. He trapped them in his teeth and chewed them up into something new._

_"Jackie, you may not be his girlfriend anymore, but you're still hung up on him."_

_"No, I-"_

_"Then why are we doing this?" Hyde interrupted. "Huh? If you don't feel some type of way, why is he flunking? Why do we meet up every other night to talk shit? Why do you call him your boyfriend_ every time _you complain about Laurie? If you didn't care anymore, you_ wouldn't  _care anymore, but here we are."_

_"Then we'll stop," Jackie said. She pitched her words pitched like it was obvious but her tone just wasn't believable. "We'll stop and I'll dump him officially and we can be together."_

_"If you can get closure without the rest of the plan, more power to you," Hyde said, "but I think we both know you're too petty for that."_

_"Excuse me?" Hyde felt the bed dip as she made to sit up._

_"It's not a bad thing," he assured her, poking at her side until she laid back down. "I'm just as petty. I'm just_ saying _, maybe you're not as over Kelso as you think you are."_

_Hyde could sense Jackie frowning. He knew as surely as the ceiling was white that she was frowning and regrouping and trying to find some way to work around what he said. She had always been clever. She had always built paths where none were available, always forced her circumstances to mold to her will. Hyde admired that about her, but for once he wished she weren't so determined as she threaded her fingers through his and rested her forehead against his shoulder._

_"I just want to be with you."_

_"Jackie, stop."_

_This wasn't working. She still wasn't getting it. She seemed to think that he would date her if she could just convince him that she was ready for another relationship, but she couldn't. He wouldn't._

_"When all this is over, you're gonna find somebody new-"_

_He_ didn't like her like that _. Maybe in another time, in another world, he could have, but_ here _…._   _She was so young and he was so jaded and the situation they'd built around themselves was too perilous to risk changing anything without bringing it all crashing down._

_"-somebody great-"_

_And maybe that's what she needed to hear._

_"-somebody who's_ not me _."_

_He shouldn't have laid beside her. He shouldn't have called her doll. He should have made this clear from the beginning._

_He pulled his hand away and sat up, turning to her and staring at her until her eyes finally met his._

_“You’re amazing, and someday you’re gonna snag someone great,_ someone _who’ll treat you right.”_

_“And what if someone great doesn’t want me?”_

_“Then shoot for someone better.” He grinned, closemouthed and crooked, and she tried to smile back. “You’re_ Jackie Burkhart _. You shouldn’t settle.”_ Not for me.

_He didn't say the words and she didn't make him, but she heard them, he knew she did. He knew from her weak smile, from her slumped shoulders, from the way she pulled him back down and curled up beside him, not quite touching, not quite there. He knew and he was sorry, but she deserved the truth._

_He hoped she saw that._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Betsy is good at cartwheels. She is the cartwheel queen. The cartwheel master. She makes sure you know it.

Jackie does cartwheels with her - one of the few things she retains from her cheerleader days - and Betsy patiently critiques her form. Jackie just as patiently listens.

They go well together, both bossy yet helpful, unintentionally rude but deliberately sweet. Jackie holds Betsy's legs while she does a handstand and Hyde watches on, grinning.

"Isn't she great?" Kelso appears over Hyde's shoulder, smiling at his daughter as she attempted to walk on her hands. "She's just like me - cuter than everyone else her age."

"Let's hope she doesn't end up needing headgear like you did."

"Nah, she'll be fine. Brooke makes her brush  _and_ floss." Kelso makes a face at the thought before turning back to watch Betsy play.

"How's fatherhood treating you?"

"She's the best thing that ever ever happened to me, and that includes finding an apartment that allows dogs." Kelso walks around the porch railing and takes a seat, never taking his eyes off the two girls.

_"Do you wanna play Horse?"_

_"Sure!"_

Betsy crawls into her father's car and pulls out a soccer ball.

"I don't have a basketball, so this'll have to work." Jackie nods and Betsy carefully lines up her shot.

"Dude, no basketball?"

"She kept trying to bounce it off her face."

"She's your kid, alright."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_New Year, same vices._

My New Year's resolution is to hot box the coach's office.

 _Jackie had been gone for a week - her family had gone to Chicago for some business party thing - and quietly, Hyde had been thankful. He'd needed the space from her and she'd needed the space from everything, but_ fuck _, he had missed the little cheerleader and was glad the day had finally come for her to return._

_Kelso was already prepared to steal her away for some romantic crap in another desperate attempt to get some, and Hyde planned on sneaking over afterwards._

_Maybe she didn't want to see him. Maybe things would still be awkward. Maybe it was a terrible idea and he was going about things all wrong but it was all he could think to do. Fake it til you make it. He would pretend things were fine and she'd pretend things were fine and eventually things would be fine._

_It wasn't the_ best _plan, admittedly, but it had worked with him, Eric, and Donna back when he'd almost ruined everything, it could work here too._

_The house was quiet. The lights were off. Hyde liked it best like this; it meant Jackie's parents were home but asleep. At home parents meant she didn't feel the need to leave random lights on or random radios playing to feel less like a horror movie victim. Sleeping parents meant he could use his spare key on the front door instead of climbing through the window._

_He carefully crept around the entrance table, over the squeaky stair, past the guest room and lounge and office. Hyde briefly considered stopping to swipe one of Jack Burkhart's cigars but ultimately continued on. He hoped the housekeeper didn't stay over; she liked to get up in the middle of the night for no reason. He hoped Pam had taken her Valium; she stayed up til 3 a.m. otherwise. He hoped Jackie was still awake; he wanted to hear about her trip._

_A door opened. Hyde dove for the nearest room. He looked for a hiding spot just in case, but he heard someone sneak past. He cracked the door open and watched the person - a man - grow smaller, watched as he went past the office and lounge and guest room. Hyde saw him step over the squeaky stair. The front door clicked quietly._

_Something curdled in his stomach._

Oh, kid.

_Hyde looked back, just managing to catch Jackie's light go off._

What happened?

_He heard Kelso's van start up and drive away._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The group winds up at Funland, a bad plan considering the Friday crowds, but better than nothing.

Hyde wants to hit the barbershop quartet. Hyde  _does_ hit the dog mascot when he tries to reach for Jackie. Betsy throws a rock at the dog man as he runs away. She's a great kid.

She decides Jackie is her favorite. Eric and Donna, being her godparents, are annoyed. Jackie is thrilled.

So is Kelso.

Jackie seems not to notice -  _seems_ , because Hyde knows her, knows all of her, and sees the way she shifts oh so slightly every time - but Kelso makes it a habit to try and section them off. Eric and Donna don't see or don't care, but Hyde does.

_"Betsy wants to go on that ride." "Betsy wants to play that game."_

It's only logical, of course, for Kelso to go with her. He  _is_ her father. Jackie  _is_ her favorite. She should go, too.

_"You guys don't have to come, too. You probably don't want to get stuck on the kiddie rides!"_

Eric and Donna drift away occasionally, but Jackie calls after Hyde each time, insisting he come with them and tell Betsy about when The Stones did an album signing at the record store, about the cookies Jackie had tried to bake for Hyde's birthday that first year away, about the stray cat Hyde and Jackie had tried to smuggle into their apartment before the landlord found out and they had to give it away to a coworker.

"I still miss Sparkle-toes."

"I never agreed to name it that."

"Daddy's gonna get me a dog and you can visit her whenever you want," Betsy says as she and Jackie pull ahead of the group.

"Your mom never okay-ed that!" Kelso calls after them.

"I'll name her Fluffle Lu," Betsy continues regardless. The girls turn a corner. Hyde holds Kelso back.

"I don't know what you think you're doing," he says, his voice low, his face hard, "but it's not going to work."

"I'm not doing anything," Kelso replies. A dumb smile stretches across his face. "And it  _is_ going to work."

"How's it gonna work if you're not doing anything?"

"When it works, I'll admit to doing something."

Kelso is taller. He's heavier. His shoulders are broader. Hyde  _drags him down_.

"Jackie is  _my wife_." There is no warmth in his tone. "She has been my wife for  _eight years_." There is no humor in his words. " _Don't_ make me hurt you." There is no compromise in his expression.

Kelso swallows heavily. Hyde lets go.

There is no friendship here.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hyde isn't worried. He isn't afraid. He has no delusions that Jackie will leave him.

She's in love with him. He knows this just as well as he knows he's in love with her. No long-fizzled teenage romance has a chance of breaking them apart, but the fact that Kelso even thinks to try…. Hyde doesn't know why Kelso does this, doesn't know if this is an attempt at closure or a burn or if he actually believes he is in love with Jackie, but no excuse will quell Hyde's anger.

Perhaps Hyde deserves this, this punishment for the years-long friendships he's broken so carelessly, but Jackie does not. She's never deserved anything Kelso has done to her. She doesn't deserve to have him attempt to squirm his way back into her life.

_"You're so good with Betsy." "Betsy really seems to love you." "I never knew you were so good with kids."_

Eric and Donna are noticing, assuming they hadn't before. They help occasionally - Eric getting Kelso to help carry everyone's food, Donna asking Jackie to go to the bathroom with her - but they mostly watch worriedly from the sidelines as Jackie and Hyde try to subtly distance themselves from the others.

There can be no good outcome for this.

They're leaving Funland when Kelso wraps his arm around Jackie's waist. Jackie pulls away. He moves to try again before Hyde passes Betsy - dozing quietly in his arms, too tired to walk - to Kelso. Hyde takes Jackie's hand in his and they go to the car together.

Hyde does not confront him, not here, not now, not when Betsy is there to see, but there will be confrontation. This will not be tolerated.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"She's blackmailing him!"

"He did something worth blackmailing!"

_Everything went to shit._

"Look, Michael is very easily manipulated, I don't think this was his fault."

"He's been  _bragging about it_  for  _months!"_

_Absolutely everything. Complete shit._

"Laurie took advantage of him!"

" _Months_ , Jackie!"

_Hyde dragged her out. He dragged her out and away and to the backyard storage shed where they could argue in peace surrounded by spare patio furniture and old pool toys and Hyde didn't know what to do. He knew what he wanted to do - shake Jackie until she snapped out of whatever crazy delusion she'd constructed that had convinced her that Kelso was cheating on her against his will - but he didn't know how to fix things._

_(Was this his fault? Had he been too harsh? Had he not built her up enough after he'd unintentionally torn her down?)_

"You just don't get it!"

"Explain it to me!"

_Jackie wanted to take Kelso back._

_(His rejection had been too much, his quashing of that last little hope that he would like her back. He should've lied. He should've lied til his tongue was numb and then he should've lied some more.)_

"I  _know_  Michael, ok? I know he loves me, he's just…."

"Weak."

"He just doesn't think about consequences!"

 _Jackie_ had  _taken Kelso back if the rumpled bed and love-bitten shoulder and quiet retreat into the night told him anything._

_(He did this he did this he did this he did this he did this)_

"I don't think we should do this anymore. I'm- I'm going to tell him to  _go back_ to school a-and-"

"And  _what?_   Stop fucking Laurie? He's got you again now, so he shouldn't need her anyway, right?  _Oh wait_."

_Hyde wasn't patient, he wasn't understanding, he wasn't kind. Not this time. Not about this. The time for kid gloves had passed. It was time for some tough love._

_(She just needed to snap out of it. It was just a slip, just one slip, but she'll get her footing back and it'll be fine it'll be fine it'll be fine)_

"Not even Laurie knows where Laurie's been, so I fucking hope you made him wear a rubber this time, 'cause I'm not going with you to the free clinic."

"Don't be gross!"

"Don't be  _stupid!"_

_(This was his fault.)_

_Hyde didn't think he'd ever yelled at a person like that before, and he had yelled a lot in his life. He'd yelled at Edna when she'd left. He'd yelled at Uncle Daryl when he'd taken the rent money for his poker game. He'd yelled at Edna's friend Louisa when she'd snuck into his room one night. He'd never gotten so close to this type of violence before, not on this side of the equation._

"So what're you gonna do now, huh? What's the big fucking plan now?"

"I'll figure it out, and you better not say anything!"

_He ran._

_He wanted to throw something, to break something, to_ hurt  _something, and even more than that, he wanted to_ not want  _to do any of that, so he ran._

 _This was insane. The entire situation was_ insane _. He'd thought they were getting somewhere. Maybe not where she wanted to go, but_ somewhere _. She could trust him. He could trust her._

Fuck _, she was weak, and she was dragging him down with her._

"Or  _what?"_

"I won't go down alone for this."

_He wanted to hit her._

_He wanted to not want to hit her but he wanted to_ hit her _, and he couldn't do this. A bar fight, fine. Some punk jock, fine. Ma's old drug dealer, fine. They started shit, he just handled it. But a friend? He'd never hit a friend -_ actually  _hit a friend - and he'd never wanted to. That wasn't the type of person he wanted to be. That was the type of person Edna was, Uncle Charlie was, Big Paulie was._

_That was the type of person Jackie was turning him into._

"Look, I may have done a bad thing, but you've been his friend  _way_ longer than I've been his girlfriend, so which do you think is worse?"

_(That was the type of person he was turning Jackie into.)_

"Fuck you, Burkhart."

 _Forget marriage, forget chess,_ Jackie  _was the trap. Her entire existence was a trap. She was Tahiti - warm and beautiful and infested with a sickness that spread and seeped and stayed. Being with Kelso really was the best punishment she could inflict on him._

"He's being taken advantage of. He doesn't  _want_ to be with her, she's  _making_ him.  _Laurie's_ the cause of all of this,  _she's_ the one I should focus on."

"If you really believe that, you're a goddamn moron."

 _He should never have gone near her. He_ won't  _go near her, ever. Never ever again._

_(He's sorry, he's so so sorry, he should've tried harder, shit shit shit)_

"It's true, you'll see."

"You're deluded."

"...You'll see."

_No more plans, no more vengeance, no more yelling or crying or guilt or wrecking one of only a handful of friendships he gave a damn about._

_(No more phone calls, no more chess, no more two person circles or music debates or late night meetings or drives to nowhere.)_

_No more Jackie._

"Whatever."

_They weren't good for each other._

"Do what you want."

_He made her hurt and she made him hurtful and they would just chip away at each other until nothing was left._

"Just don't come crying to me next time he fucks around."

_(Nothing was left.)_

Shit.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Kelso wakes Betsy briefly to give her eye drops, (a boy in her class apparently has pink eye and Brooke is worried about Betsy catching it), and sends her upstairs to the guest room with a quick kiss to her head. Then Betsy is napping and they are alone. Betsy is napping and Hyde is pacing and Jackie is fretting and nothing is right.

"So what should we do now?" Kelso asks, as oblivious as ever as he throws himself onto the couch. "We can play mini golf or air hockey…. Ooh! My brother still lives here, we can go egg his house!"

"Don't you think we should stay here for when Betsy wakes up?" Donna suggests, eyeing Jackie as she attempts to calm Hyde down.

“Nah, she’ll be with Mrs. Forman; she’ll be fine without me for a few hours.”

Eric is sneaking around the basement, quietly moving anything that appears too dangerous into Hyde's old room; Red's toolbox, some old trophies, some spare speakers.

"I know what we can do," Hyde says, making his way toward his usual chair. Eric snatches it away and passes it to Donna, who tosses it out the door. She throws out the lawn chair, too, just in case. "We can talk about why you've been hitting on my wife and how badly I'm gonna hurt you if you don't stop."

" _Or_ ," Kelso says, slapping his palms on his knees and pushing himself up, "we can talk about what everyone  _actually_ wants to talk about, which is,  _what the hell?"_

"Excuse me?" Jackie says imperiously. She is stalling, but Hyde looks around and sees that it's in vain. Their friends' goodwill has been stretched too thin. Their curiosity has reached its peak.

His and Jackie's time has run out.

"I, too, would rather discuss what the hell happened?" Eric says, raising his hand and glancing at Donna.

"Yeah, me, too," the redhead agrees. "I mean, you two disappeared for  _nine years_  and when you finally decide to tell us you're not dead,  _you're married?"_

"For  _eight years!"_ Kelso adds, pointing accusingly at them.

"Shut up, ya moron."

" _You_ shut up!"

"How can I answer your questions if I shut up?"

"Wha- B-  _Whatever_ , Hyde," Kelso sputters incoherently. "It's always  _words_ with you."

Hyde wraps his arm around Jackie protectively and she curls into his chest. They are surrounded. It has been a while since they have felt so trapped. They did not miss the feeling.

"What do you want from us?" Hyde doesn't so much ask as demand. Jackie's fingers grip tight to his waist.

"Why you left would be a good start," Eric offers, returning from Hyde's old room where he had been hiding all the laundry detergent.

"How about you start with an easier question?"

"Okay!" Kelso bursts out. "How about,  _wh_ _y are you two married_ _?"_

"Because we  _fucking_ felt like it."

" _You_ -!"

"Ok, everyone,  _calm down!"_ Donna orders, moving to get between Kelso and Hyde. "We're  _adults_ now, damn it, and we're gonna act like it." She turns to Kelso. "You, over there." She pushes him into the far side of the couch and glares him down when he makes to stand. "You two-" she turns to the married couple and remembers she and Eric had thrown out the other seats- "on the freezer."

Jackie pulls Hyde to their new assigned seats and Donna sits down on the table. Eric perches on the back of the couch.

"Now," Donna straightens her clothes, "Hyde and Jackie, I know Kelso's being a dink, but he's only saying what we're all thinking." She looks to the others for support and, at their nods, turns back to Hyde and Jackie. "You two disappeared into thin air with no explanation and none of us can figure out why, then you suddenly show up again -  _still not giving any explanations_  - and  _married_." Her eyes bore into them, willing them to understand. "And I know we kind of had that unspoken agreement to just ignore it until you guys were ready to share, but…. Well, do you see where we're coming from?"

"We do, Donna," Jackie assures her, moving as if to reach out to her but unwilling to leave the comfort of Hyde's arms. "Really, and we  _know_ we need to talk, and we  _will_ , but right now…."

"Look, it's a long story," Hyde cuts in, wrapping his arms more securely around Jackie's waist. "A  _really_ long one, and we'll tell it, but we also have shit to adjust to. We just don't have to energy to indulge in Kelso's victim complex right now."

"I do  _not_ have a victim complex!" Kelso protests.

"Do you even know what a victim complex is?"

"Yes,  _Hyde_ , I'm not stupid."

"Then  _act like it_."

" _What did I_ just  _say about being adults?"_ Donna glares around the room and Hyde leans back, only then aware how close he had been to jumping out of his seat. Jackie grabs onto his knee and shakes her head at him. He clenches his jaw and winds his arm around her again.

They are silent.

"We shouldn't do this without Fez here," Eric says finally and Jackie grabs onto it with both hands.

"You're right, we shouldn't," she agrees immediately. Hyde looks at Eric until Eric looks back. They are not as in sync as they once were, but Eric hears Hyde's  _thank you_. Hyde hears  _you're welcome_. "Fez deserves to be involved in this conversation as much as anybody."

"I'll call him right now, then," Kelso says, reaching for the phone.

"That's not the same and you know it," Hyde protests.

"You just don't wanna-"

"Sunday," Donna says suddenly. The others stare at her. "Fez is off on Sundays. We can talk then. Does that work for everybody?"

Hyde hopes for a no, for someone, anyone, to claim a prior engagement, but the others all agree with varying degrees of reluctance and the ground on which he and Jackie stand is shaky enough as it is.

"Sunday, then."

****-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-** **

Kelso goes back to Chicago to return Betsy to her mother. Eric and Donna leave for Madison, Donna to proofread an article, Eric to oversee a shipment. Hyde and Jackie lie in bed facing each other, nothing touching but their hands, and wish they can run away again.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Seven**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the flashback fight may seem a little abrupt, but that's because I didn't want to get into the whole fight step-by-step. It would've taken too long and I don't think I have the energy for that, so I instead went with the highlights and Hyde's reaction to said fight.
> 
> 1978 Hyde is experiencing a lot of emotions, with 3 main ones being felt on 3 different levels; rage, guilt, and sadness felt consciously, unconsciously, and overall.
> 
>  **Anger** is a feeling Hyde is very familiar with, and so is one he finds easier to deal with, even when it starts to feel uncontrollable and segue into violence, which is when Hyde ran from the argument.
> 
> Despite violence being perceived as a major character trait for Hyde, he's never actually harmed someone for no reason. He's gotten into bar fights and he's defended his friends, but he's never hurt someone just to hurt them, and he's never _really_ injured his friends.
> 
> (An argument can even be made for the BB gun episode. I think Hyde sincerely thought Kelso had shot at him on purpose, and that he trusted Kelso's conclusion that the best way to make sure it never happened again was to have Hyde shoot him. Who would know which punishments suited Kelso better than Kelso? Also, they're the type of friends who enjoy seeing the other in non-serious physical harm and Kelso bounces back from pretty much everything so Hyde had no need to worry)
> 
> Accepting this fact, Hyde would've been very unsettled with the experience of wanting to actually _hit_ Jackie. Not wanting to become like people from his past, Hyde ran.
> 
>  **Guilt** is an emotion Hyde is less well-versed in, having barely done anything he'd felt warranted it. He'd felt it about the Donna thing, but got over it fairly quickly what with how little it actually affected hers and Eric's relationship or their respective friendships. He'd felt it about covering for Kelso, but got over it quickly as well when he agreed to help Jackie get Kelso back for cheating on her. Now, 1978 Hyde is feeling guilty for something that _does_ affect things greatly and that he _doesn't_ know how to fix.
> 
> He feels as though his handling of Jackie's crush is what drove her to try and find a way to only blame Laurie for her situation so she can justify reconciling with Kelso. Additionally, he feels as though his influence on Jackie as a person is what lead her to do something as underhanded as threaten to destroy his and Kelso's friendship if he tries to manipulate the situation away from what she wants. (Hyde and Kelso's frienship _does_ still exist, even though it's not explored in this story because I need to build Hyde and Jackie's relationship and Hyde and Kelso's friendship is depicted in the TV series and thus doesn't need explanation here; Hyde didn't just completely drop Kelso as a friend to help Jackie even though it kind of seems that way in the story)
> 
> Hyde can exert a certain measure of control over his anger - and when he can't, he still _feels_ as though he can because he can still make the decision to leave the situation - but with no viable way to control his guilt, he tried to ignore it. Thus, the feeling is mostly subconscious, as he doesn't want to acknowledge it, which is why that factor of his reaction is written in parenthesis.
> 
>  **Sadness** is just the overarching feeling he's experiencing. Sadness at what has happened, sadness at what effect this will have on Jackie and his friendship with her, and sadness at what he feels is in some way his fault.
> 
> This got much much longer than I wanted it to be.
> 
> Also I am so glad I don't have to worry about writing Betsy anymore. I know fuck all about children.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be almost entirely flashback! Enjoy!
> 
> Fun Fact: I was rewatching season 3 recently and was reminded that Eric's Aunt Paula also lives in Indianapolis. We're going to ignore that.
> 
> I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I SUCK

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Saturday is their last peaceful day. They want to make it mean something, want to find one last thing to enjoy while they can still enjoy it, but they can't find the courage to look. If they leave the house, they fear they won't come back. They'll stack their possessions back into their car and disappear into the world again. They will, they know it, just as they know they cannot run anymore.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Hyde avoided her. Of course he avoided her. He couldn_ _'t stand to look at her, so peppy and bright and wrapped around Kelso as if he deserved her affection. Kelso was eating it up, boasting about his newly returned sex life with Jackie the second the girl stepped out of the room. He was graphic, listing things Hyde knew Jackie would never do in a million years, and Hyde let him. Jackie let him, why should Hyde care? He shouldn't. He_ didn't _._

_(He did.)_

_He took more shifts at the Foto Hut, dealt at more parties, did more of Eric's chores, absolutely anything to have a legitimate excuse to disappear at will._

_Kelso was still sleeping with Laurie. Hyde tried to ignore it, tried to make his mind go back to a time when he didn't care, but he couldn't. Kelso was his friend, one of his best and oldest friends, but he was such an_ ass _. It was easy to forget when they were smoking or watching TV or vandalizing something, but then Jackie would walk out. Laurie would walk in. Kelso would leave with her and Hyde would try to find a way to go back all over again._

_Hyde smoked more. He drank more. He skipped more classes and meals and plans. Why not? The only thing he'd really been doing the past few months was ruin Kelso's shot at graduating and hang out with Jackie. Those days were over. He might as well make up for lost time._

_Now if only Jackie would get the memo._

_"The cops caught Donna and Eric doing it," she told him the second she forced her way into his room. "Isn't that hot?"_

_"Freak." He was a little drunk, more that a little high, and he wasn't sure he was capable of emotion at the moment, but he still knew that Jackie's turn-ons was one topic he didn't want to deal with._

_"Rude."_

_"What are you doin' here?" He should put the blunt down, but Jackie had gotten accustomed to it and would probably take it for herself. Hyde couldn't let her do that. She didn't deserve whatever the fuck feeling it was he was experiencing._

_"I heard Mrs. Forman was all sad about Eric finally losing it, so I came over to cheer her up!" Jackie said happily. "I reminded her that Donna's on the pill, so it doesn't matter how many times they do it because nothing bad'll happen." Hyde could imagine how well that went over. "Then Mr. Forman told me to leave and then I heard yelling so I came down here and your light was on so I thought I'd say 'hi'!" She smiled awkwardly for a moment, the lines of her face blurry in the low light. "Hi!"_

_"Hi." Everything was strange through the smoke. Too much smoke. He should get a window. Or a fan. Or rid of Jackie. She was blocking the light. It gave her a halo. He hated it. "Leave."_

_She sat down._

_"Steven-"_

_"That is the opposite of leaving."_

_"Steven, I was hoping we could talk."_

_"You dumpin' Kelso?"_

_"No."_

_"Leave."_

_"Steven!" Jackie let out a great sigh as Hyde rolled onto his back, spreading his limbs out so she wouldn't try to join him. "Look-" he didn't- "I know you're not happy with our… situation, but we_ are  _friends, aren't we?"_

_Hyde had an excuse to leave, he knew he did, he just couldn't remember it. Something about Leo and digging through his garage. Or maybe a car he wanted to hotwire. Or maybe an empty house with a new TV and a very pathetic lock._

_He'd figure it out eventually._

_"Friends don't blackmail friends," Hyde pointed out. It felt like something worth pointing out._

_"You blackmail our friends all the time!" Jackie said incredulously. She stood and peered down at him, her hands on her hips. Her shirt was changing colors. That didn't feel like something worth pointing out._

_"Name one."_

_"Uhhh…."_

_That's how you know your reputation is secure. People accuse you of things they've never seen you do. Flex a fist, guys go running. Shoot a look, ladies come running. Light a joint, walls start melting._

_They weren't supposed to be melting. Should he put the joint out? Should he leave his room? Was the outside world melting, too? Was this what it was like being inside a lava lamp? That sounded like fun. Being in a lava lamp._

_...What was he talking about?_

_And why was Jackie there? Jackie wasn't melting._

_Unfair._

_"Leave."_

_"Stop telling me to leave!"_

_"I'll_ stop  _when you_ leave _."_

 _"You know, I was hoping you could be mature about this, but_ whatever _." She turned around, finally getting out of Hyde's space, but Hyde just had to ruin it._

_"And I was hoping you'd have grown a spine by now, but whatever."_

_She ignored him. She_ never  _ignored him._ What the hell?

 _She made her way out of his room and he finally sat up. He hadn't seen her,_ properly seen her _, in over a week._ Properly  _talked to her in over a week._ Properly  _tried to get her to quit being so fucking stupid in over a week._

_"He's gonna keep cheating on you," Hyde called after her. Jackie came back, lingering outside the doorway. Hyde could see her shadow stretch across the floor. "He never stopped."_

_"He will," Jackie said, still not showing her face. "I'm almost done with Laurie-"_

_"You've been saying that for a month."_

_"-and when she's gone, he'll stop."_

_"He'll find someone else."_ He's found someone else.  _"He's already looking." How had Jackie not noticed?_   _"What d'you think that CB radio's for?" Why was Hyde still trying to help her?_   _"Hot-to-Trot, Foxy Lady, and Nice-N-Easy." Why not just let her build her own misery as she was obviously so determined to do? "We bailed 'cause they were uggos, but he tried."_

_The walls had stopped melting. They were just kind of shaky, now. It was a little disappointing but probably for the best. He needed to come down. And lay down. And another beer. Another beer is always a good plan._

_"I don't believe you."_

_"Sure you don't."_

_"I_ don't _."_

_"Then you won't believe me when I say he's meeting up with some chick from Sacred Heart right now."_

_"No he's not."_

_It was kind of sad, really, how far Jackie was able to drag her denial. Why couldn't she have gone into denial about Hyde not liking her? That would've been a much easier problem to deal with._

_"You can lie to me all you want but you can't lie to yourself."_

_"I'm not lying."_

_"You're lying, Kelso's lying, everyone's lying."_

_"Shut up, Hyde."_

_"Of course, Kelso's lying_ down _, the question is 'who on'?"_

_"Hyde-"_

_"Probably a blonde. Probably bigger jugs than you. That seems to be Kelso's type."_

_"Hyde, I mean it."_

_"Bet he's got her bra off by now. Bet right now he's got his di-"_

_"_ Shut up! _"_

_Jackie stormed back into the room. The ceiling spun. The smoke parted. Jackie stomped her way up to him and loomed over the bed. She looked angry. Angrier than before. Angrier than he'd ever seen._

_Now would be a really good time to come down. Or fall asleep. He closed his eyes and Jackie smacked his chest._

_"_ Ow _. Rude."_

_"Suck it up." She shoved her finger in his face. "I thought we could stay friends, but you just can't have that, can you?"_

_He opened his mouth and she smacked him again._

_"Shut_ up _." She stepped away and paced for a moment before turning back and glaring down at him again. "What, you can only put up with me when I do what you want? We're only friends until I think for myself? Well_ screw you _, Steven Hyde!"_

_Hyde wanted to say something, anything, to let her know she had it all wrong, but the world was too fuzzy. He shouldn't have kept smoking when she showed up. He shouldn't have had that fourth beer. He shouldn't have stopped her from leaving._

_"I'm going to go and move on and live my life, I don't need your support, I'm going to be_ fine _," she insisted viciously. "And you can just stay here and get high and drunk and fall into a gutter."_

'Like your parents.'

_She didn’t say it, but she meant it. He heard it. He felt it hit in his chest — right below the collarbone, just as sharp and stinging as her palm — and steal all his words away. That was gonna hurt like a bitch when he came down._

_Not much motivation to come down, was it?_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Mrs. Forman watches them closely. She sees the itch in their bones just as well as they feel it. She tries to keep them occupied with card games and stories of time lost, but the itch remains, deep and mind-numbing.

Red sabotages their car. They pretend not to know.

The fear they feel is firm, rooted through years of self-doubt and guilt and the knowledge that they can avoid facing it if they just would  _move_ , but then their hosts return, strike up a conversation, insist on some quality time, and they settle down again.

Running away had worked out so well the first time - sincerely, it had. It is hard not to think it would work out again.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Hyde's 'stay stoned' plan worked for a few days before he had to cut back. Fez was in the hospital, Donna was upset, and Hyde was right. It hurt like a_ bitch _. But he had to deal with it. His friends needed him. Or maybe not_ him _, exactly, but some support. Eric was too worried about his relationship, and Kelso was damn near crying at the idea of Fez going under the knife. They weren't going to be much help._

_Hyde spent what time he could at the hospital, but eventually Fez's drugs put him under and everyone was asked to leave. He said what he could to Eric, but Forman usually had a way of fixing fuck ups like this and Donna was never short on forgiveness when it came to her precious neighbor boy._

_He watched as Donna left Jackie on the Formans' porch and made her way back home. He watched Laurie step out, tap Jackie on the shoulder, and lead her into the house._

_Should he check on Donna, as planned, or should he follow the she-devils?_

_The Vista Cruiser drove past and pulled into the driveway._

Well, that settles that.

_Hyde followed the devils._

_People like to say he's a Satanist, anyway._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Hyde was diverted for a short while - Red tried to con him into going with Eric to the Pinciottis, but Mrs. Forman put a stop to that - so the girls were already stashed away in Laurie's room by the time he got up to spy on them._

This is a little creepy, _Hyde thought as he sat down onto the hallway floor._ And more than a little immature. _The sound ofpans being settled and a radio being tuned floated up from the kitchen._ I hope no one comes up here.

_"So, one month anniversary, huh?" Jackie said excitedly. "I'm so happy for you!" She let out a little squeal and Hyde heard someone set something down._

_"Yeah, well…." Laurie trailed off. Hyde found this suspicious. "I don't know about this whole thing."_

WHAT.

_Jackie seemed startled, too._

_"What do you mean?" she asked incredulously. "You've_ never  _liked a guy enough to date him for this long."_

_"Yeah, but I don't know if I like him that much, anymore." Laurie's voice was strange. She talked in that perky tone she used around Red, but used her usual lazy drawl. It felt weird to hear it, unsettling, like hearing Ride in the Sky play the Immigrant Song riff._

_Hyde didn't like it._

_"Laurie, you talking crazy," Jackie insisted. "Tilt your head? Good. Now, what have I been telling you?"_

_"Love comes in unexpected ways."_

_"Exactly. Other side." Hyde realized they were putting on make-up and felt safe enough to peak through the crack. Jackie - her back to him - was patiently adding blush to Laurie's face. Laurie didn't see him, but it would only be a matter of time, and Hyde ducked away again. "Now, love…. Love makes monsters of men and fools of the wise, but it can change history, and create worlds, and_ move mountains _."_

_Hyde heard the make-up brush get put down and something else get picked up._

"There's this man in India,"  _she had once told him,_ "who's carving a path in a mountain so no one in his village dies from lack of medical care like his wife did. Isn't that just…. I don't have the words."  _Her father had told her the story when she was very young. It had shaped her view of romance._

_(Hyde did not move mountains.)_

_"Love is a powerful and beautiful thing, hard to find and easily broken, and maybe you haven't found it in this guy, but don't you owe it to yourself to try?" A cap popped. "I found it in Michael, and you'll find it, too."_

_Hyde grimaces and a chair scraped across the floor._

_"Jackie, I need to tell you something."_

_Hyde looked through the door again. Laurie was pulled away, Jackie's hand in the air, holding a tube of lipstick like there was still a face there to apply it to. Laurie wasn't looking at her, instead gazing at the make-up strewn about the desk. She idly poked at a brush._

_Jackie put her hand down._

_"What is it?" she asked, and Hyde could suddenly see what was happening, what Jackie's plan had been, what Laurie was going to say._

_Jackie was a vicious, prideful girl, and a master manipulator when she had the right cards, and she had been stacking her deck for months._

_She'd made friends with Laurie - actual, honest-to-god friends. She'd helped her with her "boyfriend", talked about her problems, encouraged her to find a life path she was happy with. Laurie had applied to cosmetology school just a few days ago at Jackie's urging. Jackie had done everything to help her, all in anticipation of this one moment._

_"I've been sleeping with Kelso."_

_"I know."_

_This moment where she could burn it all away._

_Laurie's eyes grew wide as Jackie grabbed an eye-shadow pallet and laid her hand on Laurie's face. Laurie pulled away._

_"I can't do anything if you move, Laurie."_

_"What do you mean 'you_ know _'?" Laurie sounded frantic, but she didn't protest as Jackie pulled her own chair closer and laid a hand on her face again. Laurie automatically closed her eyes and Jackie began applying make-up._

 _"I_ mean _, I know." She carefully coated one eye in white, painting near the lash line. She seemed to not notice Laurie's panic, but for the slightly tighter grip she held on the brush. "Michael isn't exactly subtle, you know." She switched eyes. "And yeah, I was upset about it at first. I cut him off for the longest time, just to punish him, but then I realized, this is good."_

_Laurie's jaw worked up and down soundlessly. Hyde dug his fingers into his legs._

_"I mean, it's best for Michael to get all of this out of his system,_ now  _while we're only dating." She traded out brushes and started adding blue, reaching up toward the eyebrows in dramatic strokes. "I'd hate to have to deal with this when we get married. Eyes open, look up."_

_Laurie mechanically did as told while Jackie traded out the pallet for a white liner. She reached for Laurie's face again._

_"I'm sure he's been after you more lately, and I'm sorry you've had to deal with that, but with me cutting him off, he has to get it from somewhere and you do things I won't do anyway, so that works out." She switched eyes. Laurie stayed frozen. Hyde slowly began standing up. "But we're still together, and that's what counts," Jackie continued happily. "After all,_ _he loves me, and with you there for him to put it in when I'm not in the mood, I don't have to deal with his whining_  nearly _as much_. _You_ really _come in handy, you know?_ "

_Hyde took a step back and Laurie clenched her jaw. Jackie held up a mirror._

_"There! Perfect." She smiled at Laurie's broken expression, easily ignoring the tears that built up in the blond's eyes. "You better take care of that skin, Laurie, it's the only advantage you have," she said seriously, waving the mirror at her before putting it away. "Why do you think I recommended beauty school? With their expert advice, you'll be looking thirty until you're sixty-five, just you wait!" She glanced at Laurie's clock and grabbed her purse. "Ooh, I have to go! Michael and I are going skating in Kenosha. He wants to take my mind off of Fez being in the hospital. Isn't he sweet?" She moved for the door and Hyde ducked into Eric's room. "Have fun on your date!" she called cheerfully. "Hope your boyfriend doesn't mind you sleeping with_ my  _boyfriend,_ that _could get awkward quick." She gave a breathy laugh as she left, skipping away and down the steps._

_Hyde heard Jackie give a quick good-bye to Mrs. Forman. He heard Laurie's door close. He heard the crash as she flipped her furniture, the crack as she threw her picture frames, and the eerie eerie quiet before her muffled sobs filled the hallway._

_He went to his room._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Laurie didn't come down to dinner. The next morning, she was gone._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Not one week later, Jackie caught Kelso with someone new._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

They waste the whole day. They do not leave the town, they do not leave the house, they do not leave each other's presence. They eat their dinner and hide their keys and shrink their world until it stretches no farther than an arm's length. They curl up in bed. They say they have done the right thing. They do not sleep though they try, instead tracing patterns on the other's exposed flesh. Jackie makes a heart on Hyde's arm. Hyde makes a star on her stomach. A cool breeze drifts lazily through the cracked window.

(There is a dent in the frame from where a bedside table once smashed against it. They do not acknowledge this.)

"Tomorrow," he whispers.

"Tomorrow," she agrees.

They do not sleep, though they wish to. They do not sleep, though they dream.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Eight**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jackie may not be strong, but she knows a lot of ways to destroy a person emotionally.
> 
> Laurie, though more often and more easily depicted as a completely selfish, emotionless pit, has been shown to care about others; when she gave Kitty advice about French food when she thought Kitty was nervous about it, when she comforted Eric when he caught their parents having sex, when she congratulated Donna on getting on the pill, when she helped Red sneak food outside of his diet, etc. She's also been shown to care about the opinions of those she favors, such as when she's heartbroken by Red's reaction to her living with a man out of wedlock.
> 
> In this world, Jackie decides to use that to her advantage by making friends with Laurie - best friends, close friends, tell each other everything and take comfort in them friends - solely to inflict maximum damage when she guilted Laurie hard enough that she came clean about her affair with Kelso. Jackie basically says "You're the thing on the side and you always will be. See how Kelso is still with me even though I'm not sleeping with him anymore? It's because he loves me and cares about me and you're only there because you're easy and that's all you'll ever be good for".
> 
> Laurie is never shown with a friend other than the random girl who came to Thanksgiving solely as a plot device in Eric and Donna's relationship, so I headcanon her as someone who actually has _no_ close friends, just the occasional smoking/drinking/partying partner, and thus she gets attached very quickly. Look how fast she opened up to Kelso after he showed the bare minimum interest in her life outside of sex. She was reading him her old journals by the end of the day. She seems very desperate for emotional human connection. And thus I went with this.
> 
> Also, I genuinely can't remember a time where Hyde actually blackmailed one of his friends, though I feel like I should. Can y'all think of one?
> 
> Also also, the man who carved a mountain after the death of his wife is a real person. His name was Dashrath Manjhi and he worked for _Twenty-Two Years_ (1966–1988) to make that path. Legend.
> 
> Once again, so sorry this took so long! We're in the big shit now so I want to do it justice and end up overthinking everything. Take pity on me.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter we get some dialogue between the whole gang again, where Jackie and Hyde try to explain why they decided to leave and why they never contacted anyone. There should be a pretty even mishmash of present day and flashback, so this could get pretty long.
> 
> This was _so much harder_ to write than I expected. Like, usually I hit a spot and then everything flows, but I got stuck so much and tried to put in certain lines that wouldn't cooperate and had to be scrapped and I had to do a lot of readjusting when balancing the 70s portions with the 80s, so thanks for sticking with me!
> 
> Again, I have never done drugs and have no idea what a drug hangover is like, so google was as helpful as it could be, but this is not medically accurate, y'all.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_The cheerleader Kelso hooked up with was mysteriously thrown from the squad. The girl from the show choir found sugar in her car_ _'s gas tank. The girl from Sacred Heart got shipped to Minnesota when her parents received an anonymous call about a secret boyfriend._

_One girl got itching powder in her clothes._

_One girl was publicly and humiliatingly dumped by her boyfriend._

_One girl had a vicious rumor spread about her._

_One girl was a teacher._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"So…." Mrs. Forman puts out tea. She passes around crumpets. Hyde has no idea where she found a recipe for them, but he doesn't ask. He would much rather have whiskey, but he doesn't ask. He wants for them to leave, but he doesn't ask.

The Formans had decided to join the discussion the second Kelso let slip what it's about. They have a right, but Hyde wishes they weren't there. The crowd was big enough already, and he knows the two will judge them as harshly as the others.

He does not want to tell them about Laurie.

"...Where should we start?"

"Why you left."

"Why you're married."

"Will you  _shut up about that_?"

"Hyde!"

Already, things go wrong. What are they meant to say? They can start from the beginning, but there are things too personal to share; Jackie's relapse into her toxic relationship, Hyde's downward spiral into addiction. They can start from the middle, but Hyde doesn't want anyone to know how Jackie had driven Laurie to wherever the hell she managed to end up. They can skip to the end, but the end is the worst part, the final betrayal of a friendship he had only barely been clinging to.

(He's not sorry - he's  _not_ \- but he wishes things could have been different.)

"We got married because we wanted to be married," Jackie says, her tone deriding, annoyed at having to point out the obvious.

"To  _Hyde?_ "

" _Get over it_ , Michael."

"I deserve an explanation!"

" _No, you don't_."

" _Everyone stop yelling!_ "

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_It was tragic, in it's way, watching how Jackie crumbled. Kelso always found someone else. It was like he had a waiting list, just calling up one after the other as each one was chased off. He had too much free time, with Jackie’s orders to return to school coming far too late to avoid the expulsion; he was branching out into other age groups, other schools, other towns. He picked up discontent housewives from the Piggly Wiggly, rebelling church girls from Sacred Heart, bored college students in Madison. He had no concern for Laurie's disappearance or Jackie's feelings or everyone's obvious disapproval, continuing on with his ways and bragging all the while._

_(No one told Jackie. No one even brought up the idea. Hyde washed his bitterness down with more beer.)_

_Jackie was losing it. With each new woman, she got clingier, tenser, more prone to lashing out. A day hadn't gone by when she didn't yell at someone, smack someone, sneak something disgusting into Kelso's van to put off any would-be mistress._

_(Pam Macy came to school with a busted lip one day. There were a lot of rumors of how it happened. Hyde had his own guess, but Pam wasn't talking.)_

_Hyde's stash was running out quicker than usual. Even with his new permanently-stoned smoking schedule, he shouldn't have hit empty as fast as he did._

_(Hyde wanted to catch her, wanted to crouch behind the Christmas decorations and see her with his own eyes, wanted walk in on her right as she touched his baggie and ask what she thought she was doing, wanted to climb through her window and see her shrouded in smoke and hold her face in his hands and try to keep her together, but he didn't. Jackie didn't want him to, and he had learned his lesson well about forcing his presence on a chick that didn't want him.)_

_The world passed around him. Repercussions were had. Mrs. Forman gathered all the kids together and tried to save their immortal souls. Eric floundered around without a sister there to banter with, even as he proclaimed his relief at having her gone. Red worked harder and yelled louder and made call after call to person after person, waiting for someone to tell him they'd seen his daughter._

_No one had._

_Everything was wrong, breaking apart far quicker and far worse then he'd feared. The Formans held fast to each other and their crumbling foundations and Hyde wished he could learn how they did it, wished he had retained any of his balance from the times his life had fallen apart beneath his feet._

_(His ground had always been shaky and he had never fucking learned his lesson, had always gotten too comfortable and thought things would steady, had always been blindsided by each new crack that crept its way into his life and ruined things in the same goddamn way they'd always been ruined.)_

_Hyde stepped into his room, a low buzz humming in his blood, and saw Jackie curled up in his chair._

_The earth shook again._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

They are quiet. They are tense. Everyone has a question that Hyde and Jackie do not wish to answer. Everyone waits for the couple to speak. Everyone fears Red's wrath should they start shouting again. No one moves.

"Just…." Donna pauses, glancing around the room, expecting at least one person to jump in now that the silence is broken. They do not. "Just tell us how you got together so he'll shut up."

Donna is torn. Hyde sees it and he understands. Donna had liked Jackie, sometimes, under the right circumstances, and those circumstances are not these, not after complete silence for nearly a decade, not after returning for only a week.

One of her oldest friends had fallen off the earth with one of her newest friends, only to pretend nothing was wrong when they returned. Donna knows Kelso is in the wrong, but Kelso had never vanished. Kelso stayed and grew up and grew closer. Hyde has known her longer, but he doesn't know her well. Not anymore. They had  _not_ grown up  _or_  closer, had not even drifted apart as adults so often do. Hyde had cut the rope. He had burned the bridge. He had every-figure-of-speech-for-completely-abandoning-someone and he had never looked back.

He hadn't found a reason to look back. He refused to try and find one. Regret was a useless emotion, one he didn't want to be clouded by, one he'd refused to feel. He is sorry, but he does not regret. The second he had decided to take Jackie and run, he'd buried any thought of Point Place, any thought of the friends they'd left behind. He’d had more important things to focus on. He couldn’t spare the energy to worry about his past.

"...I really don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not?"

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_She was sleeping, or at least very close to it, her hand near to his ashtray and a blunt that had long since gone out. She wrapped an arm around her shoulders and curled up tighter and Hyde almost grabbed his blanket to drape over her._

_Almost._

_He poked her, instead. Her head rolled to the side. Her eyes cracked open. She stared at him, not seeming to really register his presence. Her smile was vacant and wide._

_"Heeeey, Steven." Her hand flopped around uselessly as she attempted to wave. "'Sup?"_

_"How much have you had?"_

_Jackie's tolerance was building, but it wasn't near enough to keep her coherent after more than a round or two._

_"I'u-uh," she slurred, shrugging helplessly. "A lot. Enough that you're here."_

_That didn't sound good._

_"'M glad i's you, though." She smiled again. "S'metimes i's Michael. I d'n' like Michael. He sucks." Her eyes widened comically. "_ I  _suck." She blinked at the revelation. "Y'u d'n' suck, though."_

_There was no way weed messed her up that bad. At least, not weed alone._

_"Did you take anything?" Hyde took off his sunglasses and tried to check her pupils. He wasn't at his most sober, either, so it was a struggle, and Jackie's eyes were so dark already, it was hard to tell._

_"Nn'." She shook her head for a moment and paused, looking thoughtful. "W'll, maybe. I foun' Laurie's old stash an' I was gonna give i' t' you but you took too long so I had some."_

Shit.  _Laurie had been into some rougher stuff, usually getting her weed cut with cocaine. Hyde checked Jackie's pulse. It was too fast._

_"Look at me, doll," Hyde said, turning her head towards him. "How much did you have?"_

_"Couple puffs." Jackie made a face. "Tasted funny."_

_"Ok, good. Wait here."_

_"Stev'n-" Jackie called after him as he made his way to the freezer and pulled out a popsicle. He unwrapped it as he went back to his room._

_"Here, doll, eat this." She needed to get some fluids in her or coming down would be a bitch to deal with. He could've grabbed a pop, but he didn't know what adding caffeine would do to her system. Water would be best, but Mrs. Forman was in the kitchen and Hyde was in no state to get in and out inconspicuously, not with the woman's new paranoia from her daughter's disappearance._

_Jackie lazily licked at the popsicle, mindless of the juices dripping down her fingers._

_"'M I gonna die?" Jackie didn't seem concerned at the thought, still mindlessly eating her new snack._

_"No, Jackie, you're not." Hyde moved her to the bed and sat down beside her, rubbing circles on her back. "Just finish your ice pop, and then we're gonna do some breathing exercises, ok?"_

_"M'kay." She leaned against him, juice dripping from her hand to his jeans. He ignored it. "Th's's a good dream." She nestled further into his arms. "Missed you."_

_"...I know."_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Fez is torn. Hyde sees it and understands. Fez had always liked Jackie, in his way, and now she has returned to them, though not how he would have preferred.

They are friends, even here, even now, but Fez is hurt. Hyde had stolen away his sunshine, swept her off her feet and far away where no one could find them, where no one could interfere with their lives as they had interfered with others'. Fez had always worshiped her, his goddess, finding perfection in imperfection, flawlessness in flaws. He had loved Jackie - loved the idyllic her as she had once loved an idyllic Kelso - placing her in a temple fit only for the most radiant of deities, waiting for a chance to try and make her his. But she had left. She had run away. She had found someone else, someone who should not have even been a contender for her hand, and she had fled deep into the night where he couldn't follow her. She had fallen into another man's arms. She had jumped into another man's heart. She had walked and stretched and settled into another man's life with no thought for the devotee she had left behind, and still she has no thought for him as she sits in the cradle of her husband's arm, uneasy with their companions but warm and content and safe.

Fez is no longer in love, but his best friend had robbed his altar and pains such as that are prone to linger.

"Please, it's just… not a story worth telling."

"Hey, you don't get to decide that."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Hyde nursed her through her trip, and eventually, Jackie fell asleep, face still coated in sticky fruit juice._

_Hyde didn't know what to do. He couldn't get her back to her house - she'd left her dad's Lincoln behind and he didn't have a car - and even if he could, he couldn't leave her there, not with her still messed up enough that she could choke on her own vomit._

_(_ Why _hadn't he taken the time to tell her about all the different ways to cut weed? Why hadn't he warned her about the way pot tasted when mixed with coke or tobacco or amphetamines? Why had he gotten her smoking that shit in the first place? Tiny cheerleaders weren't meant to be burn outs, that was a terrible fucking idea.)_

_The sun set. The house settled. Hyde decided to sneak into the kitchen for water and Jackie decided to wake up._

_"He's never gonna stop." Her expression was still a little vacant, her words still a little slurred, but she seemed to know that Hyde was really there. It was small progress and Hyde would take it. "You tried to warn me an' I didn't listen."_

_Hyde looked down at her limp form, her bitter smile, and felt affection crawling up his throat. He swallowed it down. They were bad for each other, this episode just proved it._

_"And I said terrible things, and you're still here." She reached for him briefly before deciding he was too far away and letting her hand flop back down, dangling lazily off the bed. "Y'u're a good guy."_

_"No I'm not, Beulah." Hyde laid her dangling hand across her stomach and pulled the blanket back up to her chin. "I just suck a little less right now." He wanted to brush her hair from her forehead. He gripped his belt, instead. "I'm going to get you some water. Try and stay awake until I get back."_

_"M'kay." She blinked, long and slow, and Hyde knew she would pass out the second he walked out the door._

_Sure enough, she was asleep again when he returned, two glasses of water and a bottle of asprin in his hands. Hyde sat down and settled in for a long night._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Eric is torn. Hyde sees and understands. Eric had never liked Jackie, not really, and now she has forced a wedge in the group, though she had not meant to.

Hyde is just as culpable of their situation. He knows Eric knows this, just as he knows Eric prefers to pretend otherwise. Eric has never denied Hyde's worse tendencies, never tried to ignore his criminal activities and selfishness and anger, but he has always liked his perceptions clean-cut. Jackie is not his friend. Hyde is his friend. Kelso is his friend. Ergo, Jackie is at fault. He knows it isn't true, but he wants it to be. He knows there is more to it, but he wants the simplicity. He knows he will not like what he hears, but he will listen.

"It just sort of… happened. I don't know what to tell you."

" _The truth_ would be nice!"

"Shut  _up_ , Kelso."

" _No!_ "

Hyde knows the pain that they’ve caused, the pain they _are_ causing with their silence, but he can’t stand to break it, can’t stand the idea of opening his mouth and destroying what he hopes to rebuild all over again. It’s bad enough knowing that the horrible things they’d done are bound to get out, bad enough knowing the resentment they’ll have to deal with when the others find out about the lives they’d ruined — the thought of telling them how they’d fallen in love only to be mocked for it later is intolerable.

"Why are you being such a bastard about this? It's not like we got married to piss you off!"

"Oh,  _really?_ "

"You're  _not that important, Kelso_."

It would have been simpler, he thinks, if only so much of their childhoods had not been built in this house, with this group, under the guidance of these parents. It would have been simpler, had they just stayed away, stayed home where they could kiss and relax and convince themselves that the people they'd left spared them no thoughts anymore. 

Hyde thinks back to that time when they had first run, back when things had been so much easier, when he'd been able to sort everything into categories: Things That Matter and Things That Don't. Jackie was what mattered. _Surviving_ was what mattered. Moving forward; money, food, shelter, those were their new concerns. There'd been no room for such things as broken connections and worried loved ones.

It had been a struggle, but it had been less painful than this.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

(It had been freeing, in a way, to narrow everything down to the bare necessities. Staying alive, making sure  _Jackie_ stayed alive…. Holding them together had given him new purpose in a way he can't fully explain. Starting over in a new place with new people had felt incredible, even beneath all the worries and stress. He wonders, sometimes, if this is how it had felt for Edna, if he can still hate her if it was.)

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Jackie threw up immediately after waking up the next morning. It worked out great for convincing her to never touch a stash she hadn't thoroughly inspected first, but Hyde could've gone a very long time not knowing she'd had fish for dinner._

_"You're welcome for the bucket," Hyde said as Jackie coughed the last of yesterday's food into a trashcan. "I got you some water for when you're done."_

_Jackie silently sipped some water, then swished and spit into the trash. She popped an asprin, swallowed it down, and fell back onto the bed._

_"What happened?"_

_"You were gonna give me Laurie's old stash for some reason but you smoked some first," Hyde told her, pouring the second glass onto a dishrag and laying it over her eyes. "Too bad for you, you didn't know Laurie buys her weed mixed with coke." Jackie groaned pathetically. "Yeah, not really something for beginners."_

_"Did I do anything stupid?"_

_"Not really." Hyde watched Jackie roll onto her side to sip at her water again and felt a vague swell of pity. He hadn't seen a hangover this bad since Edna tried heroine. "Why were you gonna give me Laurie's stuff anyway?"_

_"To apologize."_

_"For skimming my pot?" Hyde asked._

_"I haven't been skimming,_ Donna's  _been skimming," Jackie answered haughtily._

Huh, _Hyde thought._ Didn't see that coming.

_If she wasn't apologizing for that, she could only be apologizing for…. Hyde pulled out some scrap paper and started writing down foods that help with coke hangovers._

_"Don't you want to know what I'm sorry for, Steven?" Jackie lifted one side of the dishrag and looked at him from the corner of her eye._

_Hyde wrote, scratched out, and re-wrote 'red wine - only red, only one glass'. He shook his head and marked it off again._

_"Steven, I'm never meant anything I said before, I was just mad and I didn't want you to be right."_

_He wrote fruit juice and water instead. He underlined water three times._

_"I was really hurt and I wanted you to hurt too, but I crossed a line and I'm so sorry."_

Broccoli, mushrooms, onions, tomatoes….

_"Steven, I'm trying to apologize here."_

Chicken, no dairy….

_"Say something!"_

_"I'll walk you home." Hyde folded up the paper and put it in Jackie's discarded purse. "The exercise'll help." He tossed the bag on her lap and watched as she sat up, confused, and mindlessly slung it over her shoulder._

_"Steven-?"_

_"I don't want to hear it, ok?" Hyde put on his sunglasses and helped Jackie stand. She gripped tight to his hand, but he pulled away the moment her feet steadied. He ignored her hurt look. He couldn't go through this again._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Red scares everyone into submission again. Mrs. Forman passes the crumpets around. Jackie refills her tea.

It's just a conversation. They're just trying to have a conversation, and they can't even manage that. Maybe things are too broken. Maybe deciding to fix them is a pipe dream.

Fez raises his hand. Mrs. Forman gestures for him to talk. Red glares for everyone "If I could just… move past Kelso's stupidity?" he asks hesitantly.

Jackie's eyes dart to Hyde, but she nods awkwardly.

"Ok, so, you two  _vanished_. You  _disappeared_ and then, all this time later, you come back like everything's fine? It's  _not_  fine. You were  _gone_ and we were worried  _sick_ and now you come back and it's just like… all that worry was for nothing." Fez is getting twitchy, is words are coming quicker. He gestures as if he wants to grab something but he doesn't see anything worth the effort. "You're not hurt, you're not in trouble - and that's  _great_ , it  _is_ , none of us want you to be living on the streets or something - but  _that's_ what we thought was happening to you. We thought you were starving and sick and… sleeping under bridges like trolls, and, once again, we're very glad you're both doing well, but all of it just feels so  _pointless_. We worried over  _nothing_ , and now you're refusing to talk to us so it feels like we worried  _for_ nothing, too." He slaps the arm of the couch and glares at them. " _Why did you do this to us, damn it?_ We deserve to know!"

Their fingers lace together and grip tight.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Someone called and disconnected four times before Hyde was the one to answer the phone._

_"Hello?"_

_"Steven-"_

_"You doing ok?"_

_"I- yeah, I mean, still a little sick, but-"_

_"Great, don't call here again."_

_He hung up._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Jackie's mouth moves soundlessly. Hyde clenches his teeth.

"It was my fault."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Hyde cut lunch, gym, and history; gym because it was stupid, lunch because Jackie shared the period, and history because his class was right next to Jackie's chem-lab._

_She kept cornering him, somehow, anyway._

_The school didn't have many hiding places, and he'd outgrown most of them since his middle school days when Edna had dragged him along to work rather than get him a babysitter those few times she decided he was sick enough to skip class, but Jackie managed to find all of them. The locked teacher's-lounge-turned-storage-room? Found it. The broken Chevy frame from the auto-mechanics class? Found it. The stairwell the school blocked off because it didn't have a safety rail and they were too cheap to install one? Found it. Hyde had taken to ducking into the nearest boy's room every time he saw Jackie. If she started following him there, he swore he was moving into the air vents._

_Hyde was smoking on the roof - tobacco, not pot; he needed his wits about him if he was going to sneak everywhere - with the doors on either side of the stairwell locked from his side. Edna had sweet-talked the keys off the janitor years ago and she'd left them behind with her house and her TV and her son._

_It was his one worthwhile inheritance._

_It was useless at blocking Jackie._

_"Why'd I teach you to pick locks?"_

_"Because I loaned you my dad's old law books."_

_Hyde tossed his cigarette off the building and lit up a new one. Maybe he'd get lucky and the first one would start a fire and he could postpone this conversation longer._

_"You've been avoiding me." Jackie took a step forward, but kept out of arm's reach. "Why?"_

_The wind was a real bitch, especially up on the roof, but even that couldn't mess up Jackie Burkhart's hair. Her curls were still flawless, her make up unsmudged. Her nose and cheeks had turned a pretty red color and Hyde refused to look at her too long._

_"You don't know?"_

_"Steven, I_ said  _I was sorry, and I really really mean it-"_

_"You don't know."_

_Jackie blinked and rubbed her lips together._

_"Why don't you tell me, then?_

_"Why don't you go away?"_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

" _Wait_ -"

"Shut up.  _I'm_ the one-"

"Stop it."

"-who wanted to leave-"

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Jackie was a stubborn, prideful creature. The group had made it obvious for nearly a year that they didn't want her around, and she still stuck it out. She was actively destroying two lives, and she still managed to play nice. She'd driven away the favored child of a well-loved family, and she still smiled to their faces. Hyde wasn't sure which part of that was his influence, how far back he'd moved her line, but he was certain he'd pushed it. Was she always so nasty, or had he convinced her to be? Was she born ruthless, or had he shaped her that way? He was afraid of the answer, even as sure as he was that he knew it._

_Hyde was a stubborn, cruel creature, and he didn't want to make her any more like him than she already was._

_"You're so fucking weak."_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"That's not-"

"-and made it seem like a good idea-"

"That's a  _lie_ -"

"-and I said we shouldn't call-"

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_"You cried over your boyfriend cheating and your friend being a slut and me not liking you. You ran back to Kelso the second he showed that some of the information you drilled into his head stuck. You yelled at me for trying to warn you he was still trash," Hyde listed lazily. His voice was low and condescending. His shades were on. His cigarette hung lazily from his fingers. He took a slow drag._

_He couldn't let her near him again._

_"You wrecked a bunch of people's lives so you wouldn't have to face the fact that Kelso cheated on you because he fucking felt like it. You'd rather break apart a family than deal with the reality that you're not enough to keep Kelso in line and you never will be."_

_Hyde kicked at the trash near his boot. Jackie had bought him those boots for his birthday. He wondered if she regretted it._

_"I risked so much shit for you and all you ever did was blackmail me and cry."_

_All their friendship had really managed to do was fuck up each other's internal organs and make them both more harsh and violent than before._

_"We're too different. You're a cheerleader, a square, and I'm exhausted from putting up with you."_

_He shouldn't give her the chance to rekindle it. He_ wouldn't  _give her the chance to rekindle it._

_"So just roller disco away or whatever it is you do."_

_It was the right thing to do. It_ was _._

 _"You know what, Steven?" Jackie's face was clear of emotions, something he'd taught her a little too well, and Hyde was filled with another regret. "You might think you know me - hell,_ I  _thought you did - but you don't. You don't know me at all."_

_She'd see._

_"I know you believe in_ unicorns _, so bye-bye."_

_The roof door closed and Hyde wished he could believe that was the last of it._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

" _No_ , we-"

"-and made sure we couldn't be found-"

"You did  _not_ -"

"And  _I'm the one_ -"

" _Stop lying!_ "

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_If there was one thing Hyde should have learned already, it was that he was bad at doing the right thing. He couldn't get Eric out of trouble for the TV, he couldn't keep Fez from getting beat up all the time, he couldn't help Jackie with any of her shit, and now he was getting arrested._

"The bag is mine."

 _He was a dumbass and he was going to jail. No, not jail,_ prison _. He'd turned eighteen, he had a_ long  _juvie record, and there was more than a misdemeanor's worth in that bag._

"No no no, I can't go to jail!"

_He always knew he would wind up in prison, it was written in his bones, but he'd been hoping to get a few more years on the outside before then._

"Is there a problem, here?"

_But Jackie had looked so terrified, and he was the reason she'd gotten the weed, and he'd wrecked enough of her life already. He didn't want to ruin this for her, too._

"Now,  _talk to me_ , Steven,  _please_."

_The cop pulled out the cuffs, looking more dubious by the second, and Hyde would have picked literally any other time to have a pig suddenly "believe" in him._

"I'm not just some square cheerleader, because I have  _this_."

_The cop guided Hyde's hands behind his back and got a single wrist cuffed before Jackie burst into tears._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

" _Let. Me. Talk._ "

" _I got Michael arrested._ "

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"You can't cover for him, Steven."

_She'd sobbed and screamed and lied lied lied and the cop swallowed it down like so much burnt police station coffee._

"I found it in my boyfriend's car and I didn't know what to do and Steven's had to deal with his mom's smoking and he's known Michael longer and I thought he could help and-"

"Miss, miss, please, who's Michael."

"My boyfriend, Michael Kelso. I'm Jackie Burkhart."

" _Jack_ Burkhart's kid?"

"Yes, sir."

 _They asked about Kelso's car and Jackie recited the plate number without thinking. Kelso had stuff, Hyde knew. He'd_ sold  _him that stuff, told him how to wrap it so cops couldn't smell it during stops, given him his first hit, his first lighter, his first roach clip._

_He should've stopped her._

_He didn't._

"I'll be taking this bag in for evidence, and we may need to contact you kids later, but for now I'll let you two off with a warning while we investigate you're boyfriend, miss. Don't worry, we'll get him the help he needs."

"Thank you, officer."

"You're welcome, miss. Tell your father that the boys down at the precinct say 'hello'."

 _Kelso was a_ Kelso _; the family was full of known morons and troublemakers, but they were moron troublemakers with money. He'd spend a few hours in lock-up before his parents bought his way out of trouble and he'd move on with his life. Hyde wouldn't have._ Jackie  _wouldn't have. Hyde knew a lot of people on the inside, and not all of them in the nicest way. He would've had to fight, would've had to maim, would've gotten his sentence extended and been trapped in the same goddamn cycle every man in his family went through. Jackie was a lawyer's daughter, corporate lawyer or not. She would've gotten killed before her parents sprung her._

 _It was the only thing they could do. Hyde didn't feel right about it, but it was the_ only  _thing they could do. Kelso had a better chance. He'd be fine. He'd be_ fine _._

 _"He'll be_ fine.  _Deep breaths, baby."_

_"Steven, I feel sick."_

_"I know, doll, but work with me."_

_Jackie might not be._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The group had watched silently as the couple had yelled, each trying to grab blame from their spouse, but the silence of before had felt different to the silence they sit in at Jackie's proclamation.

"...What?" Kelso finally asks.

"I got you arrested," Jackie repeats. "And then I ran away."

A beat, and then pandemonium erupts.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Nine**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As it turns out, there isn't much research available on the effects and aftereffects of smoking cocaine-laced marijuana, so I just wrote Jackie as if she was super trashed and used mostly cocaine hangover information for the aftereffects. (Jackie's not gonna become a drug addict from this, I know fuck all about addiction and wouldn't be able to do it justice. I only have weed in the story because Hyde's a stoner and there's no getting around that.)
> 
> So, 1978 Hyde is reluctant to get close to Jackie again because he believes that her bad traits being worse than before is his influence, and (though he enjoys being a bad influence) he feels like Jackie’s crossed lines that she should have/would have once found too far and that she never would have done so if not for him corrupting her. He also thinks Jackie brings out terrible things in him, which is too reminiscent of Edna and Bud's relationship for him to risk. He doesn't want to listen to Jackie's apologies or explanations because he knows he'll forgive her and he doesn't want to.
> 
> 1978 Jackie, on the other hand, knows she's always been "bad" ("When did you lose your soul?" "Cheerleading camp.") and sees Hyde's influence as less "bad" and more "becoming comfortable with herself". _Hyde_ doesn't judge her for being a "bad girl" because he's a "bad boy" and he knows that neither of those things is equal to being a "bad person".
> 
> 1978 Jackie doesn't yet see the things she's done as being a "bad person" like she does in 1987. Hyde also doesn't see her actions as that of a "bad person", because it's only done in response to others hurting her first, but he thinks Jackie will or should feel like her actions are those of a "bad person". He knows his perception of good and bad is skewed, so he knows Jackie's lack of caring means her perception is skewed as well, but he thinks he's the one that skewed it rather than Jackie having always seen things that way, just pretending not to. So either Jackie doesn't see her actions as extreme, and he's the one who made her an irrevocably cruel person, or Jackie will eventually see her actions as extreme, and he's the one who will have caused the distress from that realization.
> 
> I THOUGHT THE LAST TWO CHAPTERS WERE HARD TO WRITE. _HA HA-HA HAHA._ This entire chapter was a clusterfuck to put down, but we're getting to the denouement and I've been writing those scenes in my head since I first came up with the idea for this fic, so next chapter hopefully won't take as long as this one.
> 
> Anyway, I once again didn't read the chapter over as many times as I usually do before posting, so please point out any errors you see.
> 
> Thank you everyone for your comments and kudos!


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to come out faster than the last one, but here's the thing; I suck. I get easily distracted and I found a bunch of long, well written BNHA fanfics and binge read them for like two straight weeks and it ruined everything. Because I suck. But here we are again! Eventually! Yay!
> 
>  **Minor edit to Chapter 9:** Kelso's been expelled. He skipped school for months, he's expelled. I made a throw away line about Jackie making him go back to school, but I want it to be clear that she ordered him to way too late and he's been expelled.
> 
>  **Minor edit to this chapter:** made Oct 9, 2018

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Their yelling grows and swells and overlaps, not even Red able to establish order, and Jackie's fingers dig deep into his arm, not in fear, but in warning.

" _What the hell is wrong with you?_ "

Anger is a difficult emotion to maintain; it fizzles with nothing to feed it. Jackie doesn't let him feed it. He wants to, wants to shout back at all the horrible things they call his wife, wants to taunt them with the knowledge that he had been there and done nothing as Kelso was thrown under the bus, but Jackie's fingers dig deeper and he bites his tongue.

" _We have to let them vent_ ," Jackie whispers to him as their friends scream about loyalty as if they had earned hers, betrayal as if they had never committed it themselves. They go on about ruined futures as if Kelso is not a pyromaniac, as if he had not been bound to get arrested eventually. " _They'll calm down and we'll go from there_."

Hyde knows she is right, knows her plan is sound, but he had never been the type to sit quietly in the face of the unjust.

" _What were you thinking?_ "

Hyde does not regret - nothing they can say, nothing they can accuse them of can make him. He wants to tell them, wants to make it clear that they scream for nothing, that they demand a reaction they will not receive, but his wife is quiet and gripping and tense at his back.

Hyde does not regret. Jackie does.

" _How could you do that to him?_ "

Jackie's fingers twitch and Hyde snaps.

"Oh, like Kelso was some kind of saint."

Jackie shushes him, but it's too late.

"What?" It's Donna who takes the lead, the men around her sitting back to let her assume the position. Mrs. Forman is fretfully moving her tea set out of the line of fire. Red looks on, ready to force any troublemakers out of his home. "She got Kelso  _arrested_. Are you saying you're  _ok with this?_ "

" _Let them vent, let them vent, let them vent,_ " Jackie mumbles urgently into his ear, but the time for venting is passed.

"I was  _there_."

Kelso lets out a wordless shriek.

"And you  _let her?_ " Donna looks disgusted. Kelso looks enraged. Fez is terrified. Eric is quiet. There is no way to go but forward.

"I don't  _own_  Jackie, Donna. There was no  _let_ , I just didn't try to stop her." Hyde scoffs at the redhead. "Kelso's a firebug and a moron, he'd have gotten pinched eventually."

"You don't know that!"

" _Yes_ , I do, and you do too if you'd fucking admit it."

" _No_ , you don't, and even if you  _did_ , that's not the point!" Donna protests. She acts as if they are missing something, as if Kelso had been an innocent victim to the forces around him. Her memories are skewed. "The point is, you two were supposed to be his friends and you sold him out to the cops!"

"He was supposed to be my boyfriend, but he cheated on me," Jackie says firmly, finally giving up and joining the fray. "You were supposed to be my friend, but you knew and didn't say anything." Donna's mouth works soundlessly. Jackie's eyes are unforgiving. "He slept with  _dozens_ of women for  _months_  and none of you gave a  _damn_. You didn't then, and I bet you still don't, now."

Fez looks guilty. Kelso looks sad. Eric looks as though he doesn't know how to feel. Donna's mouth quietly shuts.

Jackie stands. Hyde stands with her. Jackie opens her mouth and she talks;

"You know, I used to feel really guilty about what I did to Michael - I  _did_ \- but none of you feel guilty for what you did to me. None of you dwelled on it for nine years or wondered if I was hurt by it or regretted what happened." She opens her mouth and she lies. "Neither will I."

She leaves for the front door, Hyde trailing silently after her.

"Thank you for the tea, Mrs. Forman."

The door shuts.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."_

_There_ _'s a lot Hyde would've given for Jackie to calm down - his paycheck, his stash, a toe - but wishes are for children and toes aren't accepted forms of currency anyway._

 _"I just lied_ _to the police."_

_"Yeah, congratulations."_

_"Steven, this is serious!"_

_"Yeah, I know, so calm down so we can think!"_

_He wanted to leave, wanted to take this as further proof that all he and Jackie could ever do was fuck up each other's lives, but he couldn't. She'd_ lied _. To the_  cops.  _For_  him _. And now she was having a panic attack._

_They were in her room. Her parents were gone. The housekeeper she'd bought pot off of was gone. It was just them - her hyperventilating on her bed, him trying to get her to breathe deep through the mouth and out the nose. The phone rang and Jackie reached for it out of habit. Hyde smacked her hand away. She was in no fit state to talk to anyone._

_"Your dad bought that fancy answering machine, let it do its job."_

_Jackie nodded and put her head back between her knees._

_"I can't believe I lied to the police."_

_"You lie to people all the time, Jackie," Hyde pointed out. "A cop is just a person with a uniform. It's like lying to a janitor… or a girl scout."_

_Jackie choked on a laugh and harmlessly swatted at his leg._

_"You shouldn't lie to girl scouts."_

_"How else am I supposed to get those peanut butter cookies?"_

_"Pay for them?"_

_"Be serious, Jackie." She choked out another laugh and Hyde stopped rubbing her back. "You doing better?"_

_"A little." She sat up and smiled weakly at him. "Thanks." He grinned back at her and she made her way to her vanity to wash off her smeared make up. "Cops are just people in uniform." She caught his eye in the mirror. "How did I never think of it like that before?"_

_Hyde shrugged and glanced around the room. She had more stuffed animals. He wondered how many of them were from Kelso._

_"I'm gonna raid the fridge, you want anything?"_

_"Animal crackers."_

_"_ No _, I am_ not  _playing 'make up a mythical creature for the vaguely animal-shaped cookie' again."_

_"It's called Magical Menagerie, and I won't make you play."_

_Hyde scoffed in disbelief and opened the door._

_"Steven?" Jackie was hesitant, and Hyde froze. "You_ are  _coming back, right? You're not just going to sneak off and ignore me again?"_

_Hyde thought for a moment, turned around, and took off his sunglasses. He tossed them onto her bed._

_"There, now you know I'm coming back." He smirked. "For those shades, if nothing else."_

_Jackie snatched them up and grinned, and Hyde left the room._

_Maybe they could figure something out. Maybe this was something he didn't_ have  _to give up._

_In the dark of Mr. Burkhart's office, Hyde saw the answering machine's light._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hyde and Jackie go for a walk. They do not speak. They have no destination. Their fingers brush gently as they wind their way through vaguely familiar streets.

Hyde doesn't know what he expected, doesn't know why he feels so blindsided by the actions of their friends, (and he knows he has no right, now, to call them friends - more acquaintances, more former classmates - but to call them anything else feels wrong), only that everything is so off-kilter and he doesn't know what to do. He looks to Jackie, so unsettled yet so stoic, and doesn't know how to help her. It eats at him, that he cannot do the one thing he had taken such pride in the last few years and make the things that hurt her go away.

A car drives by. A bird caws.

They walk.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

They arrive back at the Formans and Jackie retreats immediately to the guest room. The living room is empty. The kitchen is empty. The back porch is not.

Hyde sees Donna lingering on a chair and wishes desperately for a cigarette.

“Hey.” She turns from the basketball hoop to look at him and gives a blank smile. He does not smile back.

“Is there someone waiting to ambush Jackie in the guest room? Because I  _will_ push them down the stairs.”

“No.” She turns away from him again. “Eric and Fez took Kelso to an arcade in Kenosha to calm him down and the Formans are at some church thing, so it’s just me.”

“Why didn’t you go with the guys?”

Donna says nothing and Hyde leans against the railing. He nudges her with his foot.

“You told her, huh?” Donna asks, still not facing him.

Hyde scoffs.

“Of course I did, she’s my wife.”

“No, I mean before,” she clarifies.

Hyde pauses.

“...Of course I did, she’s my friend.”

“She was my friend, too, and I never said anything.” Her words have no inflection, not accusing nor disgusted, merely statements of fact.

“Yeah, why was that?”

“I didn’t want to hurt her,” she answers.

“Don’t give me that shit, Pinciotti, you knew it would just hurt worse when she found out and no one was surprised.” Donna says nothing. “She was never your friend, was she?” Hyde asks. Donna says nothing, still. “ _Was she?_ ”

It makes sense. Jackie had been abrasive and self-centered, and Donna had been going through her parents’ inevitable divorce. It made it hard for them to properly connect with new people. Jackie would want to gossip, Donna would want to read. Donna would want to talk about Eric, Jackie would make disgusted remarks the entire time. Jackie would want to avoid going home to an empty house, Donna would be trying to escape her. Donna would want to discuss her parents, Jackie wouldn’t be willing to listen. Given time, that might have changed, but they had been robbed of the opportunity.

“Did you plan this?” Donna finally speaks again and Hyde has no idea what she means.

“Plan what?”

Donna gathers her thoughts.

“You told Jackie that Kelso cheated,” she says slowly. “Then he gets caught with drugs that  _you_ sold him, and then you’re married to his girlfriend, and—”

“Bite me, Pinciotti, I didn’t scam on his girlfriend.”

“ _You never cared about wrecking relationships before_ ,” Donna says furiously as she finally stands to face him and Hyde is suddenly, sickeningly reminded of the version of him she had last known — selfish and angry and willing to ruin his oldest and closest friendships for a shot at the pretty redhead across the way.

(It had happened over a year before he and Jackie had fled to a new start, but he’d never apologized, never discussed it with either of them, never tried to clear the air when ignoring the problem had been working so well for him, and they’d let him get away with it, and he’d let himself believe that made it okay.)

(That doesn’t make Donna right.)

“ _Fuck you_.”

“No,  _fuck you_ ,  _Hyde!_ ” She tries to tower over him, but he’d never been afraid of strong women, never flinched in the face of a raised fist. Edna had trained him well. “ _It makes sense_. You told Jackie, then Kelso’s flunking out of school and getting arrested and—”

“ _And still fucking everything in a ten mile radius_ ,” Hyde says furiously. “Kelso’s a  _moron_ , he was never gonna graduate in the first place,” he points out. “And he’s a goddamn pyro, he was gonna get arrested at some point. And I  _never_  made a pass at Jackie while they were together, which is more than  _Kelso_ can say about me and Jackie, or about the  _dozens_ of married chicks he bragged about screwing.”

“ _Like I can just believe that_.” Donna ignores every point he makes, zeroing in on the one thing he can’t prove. “Do you just have a  _thing_ for your friends’ girlfriends? Is that what this is? You couldn’t break up me and Eric so you just moved down the line?”

(He remembers the things he’d done that had made her uncomfortable, the things Eric had noticed but willfully ignored, the way they had never acknowledged anything for the sake of maintaining their friendship, and the awful awful person he had been.)

“That’s  _not_ what this is and I don’t give a  _fuck_ what you believe. I ratted Kelso out because he’s an asshole, I  _never_ hit on Jackie before she was single, and I married her because I’m in love with her.”

(He wonders what other bad memories he’d left to fester.)

“ _I_   _don’t believe you_.”

“ _I don’t care_.”

(He wonders if Donna knows what she looks like, with her red hair and pissed expression and clenched fists. He wonders if she’s counting on it.)

“You are so  _full of shit_ —”

“And you’re a sanctimonious  _bitch_ —”

“—and I’ll  _prove it._ ”

There are claws in his hair.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Hyde was curious. He had no right to be and it wasn't his house, but that had never stopped him before._

_It was a harmless curiosity, one he was able to justify pretty easily, so he fiddled with the knobs and rewound the message. Hyde could censor whatever might need censoring before it got to Jackie, or just pass on whatever simple "be back next week" message her parents had in store. He could keep her calm in an emergency or keep her company in an empty house._

_Kelso's voice spoke;_

_"_ Hey, Jackie, hon, I really need you to pick up. _"_

_His voice was strange, distorted by static and strange skips, but it was unmistakably Kelso._

_"_ Casey wouldn't give the phone to my parents and I only had the one extra dime in my shoe. _"_

_He sounded panicked, and not in the way he usually panicked. He sounded like he was screwed and actually aware of it for once._

_"_ Look, the cops caught me with some… film and  _I don't know what to do!"_

_Hyde wanted to change his toe wish from Jackie calming down to Kelso not calling the Burkhart house._

_"_ I need you to talk to your dad and bring me some bail money,  _now_ , Jackie,  _please!"_

_But wishes were still stupid and toes still weren't an acceptable form of currency._

_"_ Jackie, please be awake, I'm really scared right now. _"_

 _Jackie couldn't listen to that message. She absolutely_ couldn't _._

Kelso will be fine _, Hyde told himself._ The cops will call his parents eventually and he'll be fine. _He believed it. Truly._

_He rewound the tape and walked away._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The railing cracks with the force of Donna's body thrown against it. Hyde breathes heavily, his arms raised to hold her off should she try to grab him again. Her lips taste like beer and his limbs feel like granite and he wants to crush her in the crumbling of his body, bury her in the fragmenting plates of his skin. He wants to rage. He wants to  _hurt_.

He stares her down.

"There, we're even," he tells her. "Don't you fucking try that again."

(He wonders if this is how she had felt, that snowy evening with the crackling fire and his terrible intentions and the heartbroken cheerleader sobbing in the next room, and feels bile well in his throat.)

"Fine. We're even."

Donna glares after him as he goes inside and engages all the locks.

He retreats to the living room and rests against the wall, breathing heavily through his nose. The second he steps away, he rushes to the bathroom and everything falls out.

(He wonders if her insides had twisted this badly.)

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

He tells Jackie. It's a terrible idea - he has to hold her down for a good ten minutes to keep her from going after her old schoolmate - but he tells her. She's his wife. She deserves to know.

"I didn't tell you so you can kill her," Hyde says to Jackie, his bulk pinning her firmly to the bed.

"Then why  _did_ you tell me, because I can't think of anything!"

"So she can't try and spring it on you later as some  _gotcha_ and claim I don't actually care about you."

"...Fair."

"If I get off you, are you going to make a break for the door again?"

"Eh, 60-40."

"Leaning towards…?"

"No."

"I'll take it."

Hyde rolls off of her and lays on his back.

"This was a worse idea than I thought it'd be," he says, linking his fingers with his wife's.

"You expected it to go bad?" Jackie doesn't look at him, preferring to follow his example and examine the ceiling.

"I expected speed bumps, an adjustment period, not…."

"Potholes."

"I'm just too optimistic for my own good."

Jackie stifles a laugh and Hyde grins.

"I think I'm just going to stay up here for the rest of the day, ok?"

Hyde doesn’t know if her hatred of the room has died down or if she is simply that determined not to face anyone just yet, but he doesn’t ask.

"Sure thing, doll." Hyde leans over and kisses her cheek. "I will, too. Just let me grab some stuff from the kitchen."

Jackie smiles at his back.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Rewinding the tape had been the best idea. Jackie, if she even remembered the phone call, would see the light was off and assume whoever called hadn't left a message. A missing tape would've been suspicious. A damaged answering machine would've been even more so. Eventually, someone would leave a new message and record over Kelso's._

_If only the Burkharts weren't such bastards. If only Jackie didn't listen to the answering machine when she felt lonely, just to hear her parents' voices._

_"But by the time I got there with bail money, his parents had already told the cops to hold him," Jackie told Hyde hysterically. "They found out about him getting expelled and when the cops called about him having drugs, they told them not to let him out on bail."_

_"How did he keep them from knowing he was expelled for so long?"_

_"He told the office he moved and all their letters have been going to the wrong house, now pay attention!" Jackie snapped._

_"How'd they find out then?" Hyde asked, mildly impressed. Kelso wasn't known for thinking ahead._

_"The new address he gave them was for his aunt who's never home. She finally checked her mail." That sounded a lot more like Kelso. "Now pay attention!" She grabbed his face, threw his glasses away, and forced him to stare into her eyes. "They're not going to pay his bail. They're_ not  _going to buy off the cops. He's gonna go to trial, and then_ he's going to jail _." Jackie shook him slightly and Hyde let the news sink in._

_They had sent Kelso to jail._

They  _had sent_ Kelso  _to_ jail _._

_Stupid, naive, has no idea what the fuck he's doing ever Kelso was going to do time and it was all their fault._

_"We have to do something!" Jackie shrieked, shaking Hyde again. "We have to-_ We have to break him out _!"_

 _"Jackie!" Hyde smacked her hands off his face and gripped hers instead. "This isn't some dumb TV show. We can't break into the lockup and get Kelso out. We can't come up with a new lie to pin this on someone we don't like. We can't pull a lawyer out of our ass to win Kelso his freedom._ There's nothing we can do _."_

_Jackie started to tear up and Hyde pulled her to his chest._

_"I'm sorry, doll."_

_"What have I done?"_

_He didn't know what to do, he had nothing he could say, he just wrapped her in his arms and let her cry._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"Hey."

Hyde closes the cabinet door and starts looking for the rolling pin.

"It's just me, don't start throwing punches," Eric says as he steps into the kitchen.

"You've got  _some_ timing, Forman." Hyde glances at him to confirm his statement, then goes digging for food again. "You going to yell at me, too?"

"Well, I thought about it, but you had a point," Eric confesses. "Kelso was a tool and if there's a future where he was never arrested, it's only because he blew himself up."

" _Thank you_."

"I mean, I don't like that you  _helped_  get him arrested, but there's nothing we can do about it, now."

"So we're cool?"

"No. But we're not as bad off as you are with everyone else."

“Fair.” Hyde tucks a bag of pretzels under his arm and grabs the plate of sandwiches he’d made. Eric moves to open the fridge and Hyde says, “I gotta get back to my chick,” carefully inching to freedom. Eric makes a noise of vague understanding and Hyde stops at the door. “And hey, Forman.” Eric looks up. “I—”  _I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m_ — “You should probably be careful around Donna. She seems really pissed.”

“Thanks for the warning.” Eric sticks his head back in the fridge and Hyde clenches his jaw.

_Fuck._

One day, eventually, it’ll stop being easier to ignore the sins he’d committed, stop being easier to forget the things he’d been so close to ruining,  _stop_ being _so easy_ to ignore the shame and suppress the apologies. He’ll be able to say the words. He hopes Eric and Donna will be willing to hear them.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Her fingers were tangled in his shirt, clutching tight to him even as she slept. Her cheeks were red and sticky with dried tears. He wanted to do something but had no idea what. They couldn't keep going on like this. Something would have to give._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hyde lays still, his nose buried in his sleeping wife's hair, the scent of vanilla and strawberries filling his senses. He closes his eyes, trying to block out the dreams that haunt him, trying to block out the screams of one redhead and the accusations of another, the long-repressed feeling of unwanted hands brought on by unwanted lips. He tightens his hold and thinks only of the woman in his arms.

They should not have come here, he knows this now, knows they have broken things too perfectly, but he cannot help but hope for another chance at this, another chance for him to have the relationships he had carelessly thrown aside, another chance for Jackie to find absolution.

He holds onto it by his fingernails, desperate and weak, and does not let go.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Ten**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Donna! Canon Donna was a Grade-A Bitch about Jackie/Hyde with absolutely 0 legs to stand on. Jackie broke up with Kelso and began to date someone new, and Donna spends like 4 straight episodes trying to force Jackie to tell Kelso because she "owed him". Kelso cheated on Jackie constantly and with many different women, and not once did Donna try and get him to come clean. Donna was a shitty friend and no one called her out on it.
> 
> (Eric, yes, was also a shitty friend, but to a lesser extent. Eric seemed mostly concerned with how the new relationship would affect group dynamic.)
> 
> I didn't want to exclude how incredibly shitty she was about the whole thing, because I am eternally bitter and wanted to drag her. However with these new circumstances, I needed to give her a different reason to be pissed off, thus; Hyde. And this is a legitimate issue I have, not just a way to point out how awful Donna was.
> 
> Hyde never apologized. Ever. He made repeated, unwanted advances on one of his best and oldest friends, who was dating his other best and oldest friend. Even after she straight up slapped him, he still tried to ruin their first date.
> 
> In canon, he becomes less of an asshole - helping Donna through her parents' divorce, helping Jackie through hers and Kelso's breakup, trying to help Eric realize he was trying to pin Donna down before she was ready, etc - and Donna is able to see that he's a better person and allow her less pleasant memories of him to become less important, but only because he was there to do this things. Here, Hyde just up and left.
> 
> (The episode where Hyde talks to Donna occurs right in the middle of the "make nice with Jackie" portion of his plan, and thus he went to Jackie's to steal booze instead of the Pinciottis.)
> 
> Without being able to witness Hyde growing as a person and not even an apology to cling to, the bad memories Donna had of Hyde were able to twist into worse things. (Which isn't to say that what Hyde did wasn't already bad) In an attempt to keep herself from hurting, Donna dwelled on the times Hyde was awful, to convince herself that he was worse than he was. Friend runs away? Terrible. Asshole next door runs away? Sad, but like, _eh_.
> 
> So Donna's most prevalent memories of Hyde is him trying to force her to like him, so seeing him return under these circumstances, married to the ex of one of their oldest friends, and to then find out that he'd helped get said oldest friend thrown in jail, leads Donna to the conclusion that Hyde is even worse than she had previously convinced herself. Unable to ruin hers and Eric's relationship, Hyde then turned to the other couple in their friend group to steal Jackie away. Why? Donna doesn't know. Maybe ego. Maybe he just wants what other people have. So she kissed him with the expectation he would kiss back, thus proving he was just a bastard of a human being.
> 
> 1987 Hyde, on the other hand, is only now having it sink in what a terrible person he'd been. I mean, he already knew, but that was from the angle of scamming on his best friend's girl. _Now_ he's seeing how awful it must have been for Donna to have a trusted friend assault you like that.
> 
> He's starting to accept that returning to Point Place won't be the reunion he and Jackie were hoping for, but with even a slim chance that he can reconnect to the others - the Formans especially - or that Jackie can find some kind of closure, he'll stay.
> 
> 1978 Hyde, on the other hand, is trying to find a balance between wanting to help Jackie and wanting to spare her the trouble of being close to him. On one hand, he still feels like they're bad for each other and only manage to bring each other misery. On the other hand, he doesn't want this to be true because he cares about her a lot and wants to stay with her. _Then_ , when he decides to be all self-sacrificing and giving up his happiness to keep her safe from him, she goes and saves him from the cops, getting one of his best friends arrested in the process. So now, he feels even more like they're bad for each other, but also indebted because she lied to the police for him, as well as still caring for her as a person.
> 
> This chapter also marks the first time he's forced to really decide between Jackie and Kelso. Previously, he was helping Jackie do things he feels would have happened to Kelso anyway - flunking, getting arrested - so he wasn't _really_ picking Jackie over Kelso, but this chapter, Kelso called up Jackie, terrified because he'd been arrested and needing bail money. Jackie could've paid the bail, but Hyde kept the message from her. Jackie wouldn't have been inconvenienced and Kelso wouldn't be scared anymore, but Hyde knew Jackie would break down at the idea that what she'd done had further reaching consequences than Hyde had assumed and assured her of.
> 
> The ending note is now too long. Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is, like, no easily accessible information on the history of Wisconsin’s drug policies. I got some info on Madison, specifically, but everything I found jumped straight from 1977 Madison to 1984 general. So I’m getting lazy and _we’re just gonna skip over aaallll that shit._ Any panic over what happens to Kelso is going to be based on Hyde  & Jackie’s lack of info and assumptions on the judicial process. (Reminder, Jackie’s father is a _corporate_ lawyer, and thus any information absorbed through living with him/reading his law books [Hyde] is for _corporate_ law.)
> 
> Also, _**over 1500 hits**??? Y’all!!! Did!!! That!!! Oh my god thank you!!!_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_He snuck her into his room. Leaving her alone had worked_ so well  _before, he decided not to do it again. Her tears had subsided, but her panic had not, feeling tense even as she laid in his arms, feeling fragile though he knew she was not. She was awake, though she tried to hide it, and he appreciated the attempt. He didn_ _'t want to try and force a conversation, didn't even know how to begin to find something to say._

_Her back pressed tight to his chest and he breathed deep the scent of her conditioner and, though wishes were for children, he wished anyway for clarity in the morning, or at least restfulness that night._

_He received neither._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"So."

"So."

The next morning is a new pinnacle of awkward. Mrs. Forman lingers in the living room, needlepoint clutched tightly in her hands. Jackie sequesters herself in the garage, tending to unneeded tune-ups and rotating tires. Mr. Forman sits at the kitchen table and reads the paper, Hyde sits across with a  _Rolling Stone_. All the others avoid the house. It is a wise decision.

It is Mr. Forman who breaks the silence.

"That was something last night, huh." It doesn't even  _sound_ like a question, rhetorical or otherwise, and Hyde doesn't know how he's meant to respond.

"Yup."

He and Red had always understood each other, to an extent. Hyde is still just as anti-government as he had always been and Red could be no more a part of the establishment if he were to spread his ashes over the White House, but they are alike in their own way. Hyde has always known that, has always liked the thought, as deep as he had buried it, and he knows just as well that there is no justifying this to the older man. Red had always had a stronger moral core than Hyde. Something of this calibre is not one he can let go.

"Jackie and I can still get a motel."

"No, don't waste the money."

Red is a soldier. He knows the repercussions betrayals can have. But Red is also so very like Hyde. He will never discuss the emotions new information has invoked.

"Really, man, we can-"

"You two are staying here, Steven."

Hyde wonders how far he would throw them if he knew the true extent of their actions, if he knew their damage hadn't been limited to Michael Kelso. He wonders where Laurie had ended up, if she had ever come back, if she  _could_ ever come back.

He never wants to know.

"Ok."

"Ok."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Jackie told the others about Kelso's arrest the next day._

_(_ "He'll get to talk to one of them eventually and they'll know he called. I can't  _not_ say something."  _It was a good point and he hated it.)_

_Everyone panicked._

"Oh my god, what do we do?"

"We have to get rid of all our stuff!"

"Is Kelso going to  _prison_?"

 _Hyde sat silently as the others lost their collective minds. Once upon a time, he might have found this funny. If they were freaking out for almost any other reason, he_ still  _might've found it funny._

_Oh, how times had changed._

_Jackie let her panic out again, trembling and crying as if she were about to break apart, and Hyde forced himself to stay away, to let Fez and Donna crowd around her, offering whatever little comfort they could._

"It's just so  _terrifying_. What's going to happen to him?"

_Eric paced behind the couch, his hands buried in his hair, as Fez held Jackie to him, as Donna split her time between squeezing Jackie's hand and trying to get Eric to calm down. Hyde finally forced Eric onto the armrest beside Donna, pushing down on his shoulders so he couldn't get up._

_"Guys," Hyde said firmly, his eyes hard behind dark glasses, his jaw constantly readjusting behind closed lips. He ran his tongue over his teeth and spoke again; "I say this as someone who has seen a_ lot  _of people get arrested -_ there's nothing we can do _." The tension in the room shifts from shoulders to hands, from stomachs to jaws as they attempt to process the information. "It's up to the Kelsos, now. They can bribe his way out of trouble. We can't."_

_"We can help convince them to!" Donna announced, a spark of life coming back to her._

_"How?" Hyde asked dubiously. "He was caught red-handed, they'll know this wasn't some kind of mix-up," he pointed out. "Plus, they're pissed 'cause they found out he got kicked out of school."_

_"His brothers are always in and out of that car, that's reasonable doubt," Eric said, Donna's spark spreading through him. "I don't know what we can do about the expulsion thing, but surely his parents won't think_ prison  _is the right punishment for flunking out?"_

_Hyde saw Jackie slowly turning to face the others, a thin veneer of hope on her face, and knew he had to crush it before it took too strong a hold._

_"That could work," he admitted reluctantly. "I mean, it's not like the cops have any_ witnesses  _that the stuff was his."_

 _Fez excitedly joined in on the conversation, unfamiliar with US laws but willing to help, and Jackie leaned heavily into their friend's side again. The cops_ did  _have a witness._

_Hyde froze._

_And they had the witness's name._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Jackie is taking something apart when Hyde finds her. He doesn't know  _what_ she was taking apart, but he's almost completely sure it didn't need any of the maintenance she was doing.

"You ok, doll?"

"Well, Fez called, asked if my refrigerator was running, then hung up before I could say anything," Jackie says. "That was nice."

"He's still doing that one?" Hyde shakes his head in disappointment. "He's gotta learn some new pranks."

Jackie holds up a piece and examines it closely. Hyde doesn't know what she's looking for, but she seems to find it as she smiles to herself in satisfaction and sets it down again.

"What are you doing, anyway?" Hyde asks. What comes next is a slew of words he can not even  _begin_ to attempt to understand and the knowledge that Jackie is more tense than she tries to make him think if she can't even drum up the energy to dumb down her explanation for him. "Red doesn't want us getting a motel," Hyde says instead of trying to follow her lecture.

" _Why?_ " Jackie demands desperately. She wants to go. She wants to leave. She wants access to a room she can lock the others out of and the safety in knowing that they can slip away again without anyone the wiser.

"I don't know, but we can still get one if you really want."

She really wants. She says no anyway.

"We shouldn't waste the money."

"It's not a waste."  _It's not a waste to make you feel better,_ Hyde wants to say.  _Your mental health is more important._  But he doesn't. It's a fine line to travel, reassuring her that she's allowed to want things even when they're poor and preventing her from feeling any guilt from asking. Jackie bites her lip. " _I_  want a motel room," Hyde says instead. He grabs her by the hips and pulls her close. "I've missed you."

His hands wander, making clear his meaning, and Jackie giggles as she stretches up to kiss him. They had been in Point Place for a little over a week and had refused to do such things in the Formans' house the entire time, instead sneaking away to the overlook like teenagers, unable to stay long for fear their missing car would be noticed and cause a panic.

Hyde wants a bed. He misses the feeling of pressing Jackie into the mattress, the way she would sink in as he would sink in, her limbs wrapped tight around him and her voice firm as she demands  _faster_ and _harder_ and _more_ and _more_ and _more_. He misses the way she would flip them over, her weight solid and heavy and her words gone to breathy sighs as she would bend down to trail kissed behind his ear. He misses exploring her - the ticklish spot on her waist, the sparse freckles on her thighs, the scar on her rib. He wants the room to roam. He wants the light to see. He wants to have his wife in a  _bed_ , damn it.

" _Well_ ," Jackie says, drawing the word out with a teasing smile playing about her lips, "I guess if  _you_ want to stay at a motel…."

"Thanks, baby." Hyde kisses her again and he feels her mouth grin against his.  _Four more days,_  he tells himself,  _and we'll be back home._

He kisses her harder and stops thinking.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Mrs. Forman catches them as they're packing. The linens she's clutching fall to the floor as she rushes in and begins grabbing at suitcases.

"No no  _no no no_ , what are you doing, where are you going, you can't go!" Her words run together as Hyde tries to pry her fingers from his dufflebag.

"We're just-" Jackie tries to talk, but Mrs. Forman is not dissuaded.

"You can't leave yet!"

" _We're just going to a motel_."

"You don't  _need_ a motel,  _we have a guest room._ "

Hyde finally plucks her hand from his things and throws in the last of his shirts.

"And we appreciate you letting us stay here." Hyde rests his hands on Mrs. Forman's shoulders and hopes for her to calm down. "But shit's gonna get worse from here and we'll feel better with the extra space."

"Also, I want a room I can lock Donna out of," Jackie adds matter-of-factly. "Like, this room is nice and all, but it doesn't have a deadbolt."

"We can add one," Mrs. Forman says desperately, slipping out of Hyde's hold and grabbing at their bags again. Jackie pulls her case away.

"Mrs. Forman, you're lovely and we've enjoyed staying here, but we're going to a motel now."

Hyde ushers Jackie out of the room while Mrs. Forman tries to convince them to stop.

" _Wait wait wait_ ," she calls, trailing after them as they reach the stairs. "No, I was going to teach Steven the family stuffing recipe, a-and then me and Jackie were going to get our hair done, and Jackie! Red wanted to show you something about- about exhaust pipes or something!"

"We're not leaving town," Hyde reassures Mrs. Forman, nudging Jackie to keep moving. "We'll be back in a few hours and you and Red can show us whatever then."

" _You can't go!_ "

" _Mrs. Forman._ " Jackie looks at Mrs. Forman, the older woman still fretting from the staircase, the younger with one hand on the doorknob, and simply stares, seeming unable to come up with something to say that can break through the woman's haze of panic. Jackie sighs, shakes her head, and opens the door. Hyde goes to follow and Mrs. Forman grabs his arm.

"Steven, please." It hurts him to look at her, so scared and confused and convinced this will be the last she sees of them if she lets them walk away.

"Mrs. Forman, we'll be right back," he assures her, even as he knows she doesn't believe him. "Things are just…. They're gonna get worse before they get better and we don't want to drag you and Red into this anymore than we already have." He pats her hand, kisses her cheek, and carefully pries open her iron grip. "We'll be back by dinner."

He follows Jackie to the car, Mrs. Forman's forlorn face burned into his mind. He does not look back.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_There was no gentle way to break it to her, which made Hyde especially glad that Jackie wasn't actually stupid._

_"They have our names."_

_"Yeah."_

_She'd put it together the second he'd said it and hadn't really reacted to it since. She seemed to be numb, overwhelmed by all the ups and downs she'd been dealing with in the past 48 hours to really feel anything about it anymore._

_Hyde almost preferred the crying._

_"Steven, are they going to call us to the trial?"_

_"...I don't know."_

_"What do you mean_ 'you don't know' _?" Jackie demanded, a glimmer of emotion coming back to her._

 _"I mean,_ I don't know _," Hyde repeated patiently. "Ma only ever got fined and I never followed any of my uncles' cases."_

_"Maybe Michael will only get fined?"_

_"Maybe."_

_He was lying. He doubted Kelso would get anything less than jail time. He and his brothers had pulled a lot of crap that the cops haven't been able to charge them for - Hyde was pretty sure they knew Kelso was the one who blew up that statue on the putt-putt course. It would make sense for them to try and take him down harder to make up for all the stuff Mr. and Mrs. Kelso paid off._

_Jackie smiled weakly. She could tell he was lying._

_He smiled back anyway. What else could he do?_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

There's really only the one motel in Point Place, so it doesn't take Red long to track them down. It takes him only slightly longer to scare their room number out of the receptionist.

They are basking in afterglow, wrapped in sweet kisses and clinging limbs and scratchy sheets, when the yelling begins.

" _Open up!_ " Red orders, banging on the door with each word. " _Now!_ "

"Maybe if we're really quiet, he'll leave," Jackie whispers hopefully, fingers rubbing idly across Hyde's stomach, head resting softly on his arm.

" _I know you're in there!_ " Red continues. " _I saw your car!_ "

"It was worth a shot," Hyde says as he nudges Jackie off of him and reaches for his clothes. The softness of his tee shirt is a welcome change from the roughness of the blankets but Hyde would much rather return to bed with his wife than deal with Red's anger. "Ready?" Hyde asks. Jackie quickly pulls her tangled hair into a neat ponytail and nods. Hyde opens the door.

" _What the hell were you two thinking?_ " Red demands, pushing his way into the room. "Kitty is  _hysterical_ because of you! She's convinced you fled to Canada!"

"We told her we'd be back by dinner," Jackie insists, sitting daintily on the bed. "We've only been gone an hour!"

"And Steven said we'd see him in the morning the night before he left Point Place," Red says. He glares at the younger man, who stares blankly back.

"I had genuinely forgotten about that."

"Kitty hasn't."

Red continues to glare as Hyde sits down beside Jackie. Hyde sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Look, Red…." Hyde sighs again. "With everything that's happened, we'd just feel a little better with some distance from everyone."

"Don't you think you've gotten enough distance?" Red asks seriously, taking a seat on the one chair in the room.

"Probably," Hyde agrees easily, "but we gave up too much of it too fast."

Red raises his eyebrows and waits patiently for him to continue. Jackie picks it up;

"We…. We got too optimistic after no one asked any questions the first few days," she says. "Instead of trying to come up with some way to explain everything, we just kept ignoring the situation because everyone else was. It was  _stupid_ , and it blew up on us." She looks down at her twining fingers, and Hyde covers her hands with his. "Mr. Forman, you and Mrs. Forman are lovely, but we just… don't feel safe there right now."

Red nods to himself.

"I guess that's fair," he says, "so how about we make a deal?" Hyde and Jackie look up at him, curious. "Kitty's been planning this 'welcome back' dinner. She made reservations at The Vineyard a few days ago, and they just got an opening big enough for us and the morons that infested my basement, so here are your options; one, you have me tell Kitty to downsize the reservation so it's just the four of us, two, everyone goes and we use the public setting to shame everyone into behaving while you kids hash this out, or three, you decide not to go at all." Red holds up a hand before they can even think to say anything. "Now, before you decide, just know, if you pick the first one, Kitty will spend the entire meal guilt tripping you into coming back to the house. If you pick the last one, I'll just drag you back.  _But_ , if you decide to have dinner with everyone and it goes  _badly_ , I won't try to make you move back into the guest room and I'll make sure Kitty leaves you alone about it. But you have to  _try_  and get along with everyone."

They have withstood guilt more potent than Mrs. Forman's, and Red has long since stopped terrifying them into submission, but still, there is only one option worth considering.

Hyde looks at Jackie and she nods decisively.

"You drive a hard bargain, Red," Hyde says, standing and holding out his hand, "but we're in. Call up the morons."

"Good man." Red pushes himself up and they shake.

This is a bad plan, Hyde can feel it, but it's all they can do.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Eleven**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was a bit of filler, just driving home that there’s no way 1978 Jackie and Hyde can help Kelso. 1987 was even more filler, just setting up for the dinner and getting Jackie and Hyde a little more space. (Also, side note, how’d I do on the whole sex thing? Because I’m asexual and thus had like ZERO idea what I was doing so I was really just babbling mostly.)
> 
> This was actually supposed to be much longer and include the dinner, but I decided to make that a separate chapter. There should be maybe 4-5 chapters after this. Not long now!
> 
>  _Except_ , this is probably a good time to admit that this story is a set up for _**A SEQUEL!**_ The sequel will be from Jackie’s POV and will be dealing with the repercussions of this story as well as having flashbacks to the nine years they were gone.
> 
> Sorry to spring that on y’all, I know it’s kinda rude and I know I hate when that happens to me, but I wasn’t entirely sure if I was gonna do the sequel or if I was just gonna have a sort of open ending for this story, but I’ve decided -- _SO FAR_ \-- that I _will_ be doing the sequel! But it will not be posted quickly, I will have a lot of research on various things to do.
> 
> Next chapter, shit goes _down_. Brace yourself.


	12. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deleted scene while I get my shit together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am the human embodiment of trash and I apologize. IRL shit happened and some dialogue wouldn’t cooperate and I know this is taking way too goddamn long, so here’s a little something-something while I figure some shit out.
> 
> Here’s a deleted scene that I polished up. I wasn’t able to fit it in the story proper after I realized that I don’t have the stamina for the longer, more drawn out version of this story that I had originally planned. (Seriously, this was originally gonna be so goddamn long I wouldn’t’ve been even halfway as close to done as I am now)
> 
> Also, since the entire “chapter” is set in 1978, I’m not going to write it in italics like I usually do. It takes place shortly after Hyde tells Jackie about Kelso, roughly 3.5 weeks since he first started being nice to her
> 
>  **Edits:** Some minor readjusting and additions were made to Chapters 9 and 10. Nothing important to the plot, I just felt that some parts didn’t flow how I wanted it to so I smoothed out some edges. Oh, except I removed some parts from Chapter 10 because they’re going to be brought up in Chapter 12, instead. What, exactly, I removed will be detailed at the end of Ch12, so as to avoid spoilers for any new readers, but it was from the scene where Hyde talks to Eric.
> 
> Let’s get on with it!

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**Hyde's 18** **th** **Birthday**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Jackie sighed happily as she gazed at the lights of the town. Wind blew and she rubbed her shoulders against Hyde's until he finally put his arm around her, looking up in annoyance.

"Isn't it beautiful up here?" Jackie asked, leaning into his embrace.

"It's like a van Gogh," Hyde deadpanned.

"I  _know_ , right?" She sounded so cheerful and sincere and Hyde was in no mood to put up with it. There was nothing worth being happy about.

"Kid, why are we here?"

Jackie had dragged him to the water tower late that night, her eyes bright and her hands clutching at a picnic basket she refused to let him carry. They'd already eaten the french sandwiches and bunch of grapes, already drank down most of the six-pack, and Jackie had shown no signs of wanting to leave yet.

"You're not having fun?" She pouted and he stared at her blankly.

"It's freezing." He pulled her closer for emphasis, his hand working up a friction on her bicep. "My nads are gonna fall off."

" _Ew_ , Steven!"

"Let's just go back to your place, sneak some brandy, and watch a movie."

"We can't!"

"Why? Your parents home?"

"Well… yeah." She pulled away and began to dig through the discarded basket. "But  _alsooooo_ ," she turned to him and smiled impishly, " _this_." She pulled a slice of cake out from behind her, plastic wrap squishing it down and leaving patches of bald spots in the frosting as she pulled it off and stuffed it back in the basket. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a single candle. "Give me your lighter."

"No."

" _Steven._ "

" _No._ "

"Fine, I have matches." Jackie dug into another pocket and Hyde groaned, leaning back against the water tower. "Shut up and let me celebrate your birthday, you ass."

"Who told you?"

"We've only known each other for _ten years_ , Steven."

"...So who told you?"

"Mrs. Forman mentioned it, now give me your lighter, I can't find my matches." She held her hand out expectantly and Hyde gave her a low-five. She was unamused. "Really?"

"I'm not that into birthdays," he said, turning away from her to look out over the town again. He wondered if the alleys were as they'd been before, those times when he'd picked dumpsters over Edna's many mood swings. He wondered where the crack dealers had migrated. He wondered if Louisa was still working the same street corner.

"Why not?" Jackie asked. "People buy you stuff! And there's cake." She held up the slice she'd brought, the bright pink candle drooping to the right. Frosting clung to the side of it from her attempt to use it as a butter knife to fix the bald spots. She nudged the candle upright and held the cake tauntingly in front of his face. Hyde pushed it away.

"Jackie, birthdays are just an excuse to harass someone one year closer to dying," he told her.

"Not until you're like, thirty, with no reason to live anymore, but you're  _eighteen_. You're supposed to be getting drunk and making bad decisions right now," she teased. "Come on, let's get you a tattoo, or an uncomfortable piercing, or… or a really ugly man-ring!"

"Or moved out of the Formans'."

"I said 'bad', not ' _stupid_ '."

"No, really." Jackie had fallen silent and Hyde continued to avoid looking at her. "Eighteen's the beginning of the end, man. I'll get tried as an adult now. I'll go to a  _real jail_. I could get  _drafted_."

Jackie wrapped herself around his arm and snuggled tight. She buried her nose in his coat.

"And why does that mean you have to leave the Formans'?"

"It's what every other guy in my family's done," he said, not reacting to her embrace, just letting her cling to him as the wind kicked up again. "All of them were on their own at my age, and the way Red talks about Forman moving out, I don't think it's gonna be any different with them."

"That's about  _Eric_." She sounded condescending, as if the mere idea that someone would want to keep scrawny Eric Forman around was laughable, and he knew she didn't mean it, knew that was just how she and Eric worked, but he shook her off of him and glared.

" _This isn't a joke, Burkhart._ " She flinched back at his hard tone, but he couldn't find it in himself to feel bad.

(He didn't like how they handled each other, Eric and Jackie. Not anymore. Jackie may have been a spoiled princess that Hyde had spent years wanting to gag, but she was still just a girl who only wanted a good boyfriend, still just a daughter who wanted to spend more than a day out of the week with her parents, still just a kid who kept getting screwed over by the very  _last_ people she should've worried about. And Eric may have been a scrawny loser that Hyde had to defend from assholes almost daily, but he was still his best friend, still the only person who bothered to check on him when Edna left, still the one who'd grabbed the nearest adult and said  _fix this_ when Hyde was too damn proud to do it himself. They'd never get along, but  _damn_ if Hyde didn't want them to.)

"You really think Red's gonna keep a delinquent around when he's so eager to throw out his own son? It's better to leave before they make me."

" _No_."

Hyde tried to turn away, but Jackie grabbed onto his face and forced him to look at her.

"The Formans  _love_ you," she insisted. "They're not going to throw you out. They'd  _never_ throw you out."

"You don't know that."

"I  _have eyes_ , Steven."

They fell silent and Hyde let Jackie work her way under his arm again. The wind had long since become a gently breeze. The candle on the cake had given up and fallen on its side.

Hyde was never one to bank on the actions of others. He'd expected Bud to stay, but he'd run off the minute parenting and staying sober had gotten too hard. He'd expected "big brother" Roy to stay, but he'd disappeared the second the program ended. He'd expected Edna to stay, but she'd ditched him the moment a trucker with all his teeth gave her the time of day.

"What if they do?"

To be fair, the Formans had never ditched him in the eleven years they'd known him, even when he probably deserved it, but just because they hadn't so far, didn't mean it wouldn't ever happen.

"They  _won't_ —"

" _But what if they do?_ "

It took Bud eight years. It took Roy less than one. Edna held the record at seventeen, but she still decided that he wasn't worth it in the end. Nothing is permanent, that was just a fact. Embracing that fact made things so much easier even if everyone else refused to see it. It prepared you for when the end came and made that end hurt so much less.

Jackie wrapped her arms around Hyde's middle, a stubborn embrace that he didn't return, and sighed deeply. She rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Ok,  _if_ the Formans kick you out —  _which they won't!_  — then I'll sneak you into my house. We'll hide you in the shed when my parents are home and I'll send food out with the maid that hates my mom."

Against his will, Hyde grinned.

"Uh-huh, and when the maid tries to blackmail you?"

"I deport her." She shrugged.

Hyde laughed, and Jackie hid her face in his neck. He felt her smile against his collarbone. He nodded, still chuckling, and reached into his pocket.

"Sounds like a plan." He held his hand up and waited for her to look.

_All things end._

"Thank  _you_." Jackie snatched the lighter away just as her watch started beeping. "Midnight, just in time." She turned off the alarm and reached for the cake again, quickly righting the candle and lighting it up.

_But postponing it might not suck._

" _Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you,_ " she sang, off-key and off-beat. Hyde had honestly never heard a worse rendition of the birthday song. " _Happy birthday, dear Steveeeeeen!_ " She leaned over his lap to look up at him, smiling goofily, and he playfully shoved her away. " _Haaaaapy birthday tooooo you!_ " She shoved him back and brought the cake up to his face. "Make a wish."

"I wish for you to not sing near me again." Hyde smirked and Jackie shoved him again.

"You said it out loud, now it won't come true." She wiggled the plate. "New wish, please."

Hyde didn't make a wish, had never believed in the tradition, but he blew out the candle and Jackie cheered. She licked the frosting off the candle, threw it into the woods, and pulled out two forks.

"You didn't bake this, right?"

"Keep making jokes like that and I won't give you your present."

_Yeah. This could be fun._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Interlude**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take this offering as I figure shit out. I honestly never expected this story to get as popular as it did as quick as it did. Sorry I'm so slow at this.
> 
> Clarification on “we’ve known each other ten years”. In the yearbook episode, there’s a scene where Jackie, Kelso, and Eric are in the basement. Eric is played by the same child actor as he was in the scene where he met Hyde. Therefore, it’s my assumption that Jackie and Hyde had met around that time through Eric, while Eric was still afraid of Donna. Later, Jackie went to private school, only meeting Donna when she entered middle school. And thus all the bullshit timeline we were fed is accounted for.


	13. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Minor edit to Ch 10:** I took something out this time so I could bring it up in this chapter — then ended up not fitting it in so it's gonna be next chapter — so returning readers, please see the end notes next chapter for changes, so nothing gets spoiled for new readers.
> 
>  **Even more minor edit to Ch 9:** I took out a small joke so I could use it here. It didn't work very well where I originally had it, so this worked out for the better anyway.
> 
>  **Further edits:** I went back through several chapters and added lines about Hyde and Jackie's distaste for staying in Laurie's old room. Just wanted to plant that seed for the scene where Jackie finally gets her revenge.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Jackie is in a pale blue sweater and a loose gray skirt. Hyde is in a dark blue button up and his nicest pair of jeans. Jackie applies a fresh coat of bright pink lipgloss and Hyde adjusts his shirt cuffs. They walk inside. The Vineyard is different from what Hyde remembers, from what little time he had spent there that night so long ago. The building is larger, accounting for a new dance floor and a sleek bar. There's a small stage where a piano and several string instruments rest. Flower pots are everywhere and long, dramatic curtains frame every window.

A hostess leads Hyde and Jackie to a table where the elder Formans wait. Mrs. Forman immediately takes them into her arms.

" _You made it!_ " She bounces happily in place as Jackie pats her awkwardly on the back. Hyde wraps his arm around Mrs. Forman's shoulders and hugs her briefly before ushering her over to Red. She lets out her awkward laugh and settles back into her seat. "I'm just so glad you made it."

Hyde and Jackie sit down, smiling weakly.

"Wouldn't miss it."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Kelso stayed in a holding cell. His trial was coming up, but the judicial process was a long, annoying operation that enjoyed dragging its feet. Hyde couldn't help but feel thankful for the extra time he and Jackie had to figure things out, even as he worried for what Kelso might be going through._

_The gang tried to reason with Kelso's parents (and eventually just Eric and Donna, after Fez mixed up the new legal terms he'd learned, Hyde was called white trash and blamed for Kelso's smoking, and Jackie was relentlessly hit on by every brother still living at home), but they didn't care enough to listen. Between the wild dogs roaming in and out of their home and their other hellspawn wrecking the neighborhood, they had no time to bother with their currently arrested son's friends._

_They weren't called to be witnesses, but they knew it was only a matter of time, and what would they do then? Sending Kelso to jail was cruel and excessive and their only option. Jackie didn't want to send Hyde to prison. Hyde didn't want Jackie punished for lying to the cops. They wanted that more than they wanted to save Kelso and they felt like crap about it, but it was a lesser pain they were willing to deal with._

_Their friends would attend the trial. Their friends would hear them condemn another._

_"It won't be so bad," Jackie said unconvincingly. She wove her hair in loose braids. Hyde doodled absently on her ankle. "When everyone finds out, I mean."_

_"You mean, when they hate us and refuse to speak to us and Forman kicks me out?"_

_"You can stay here."_

_"And when your parents are home?"_

_"I'll hide you in the shed."_

_"_ Jackie _." Hyde sighed heavily and rolled onto his back. His uncapped marker bled purple into the sheets. "Baby, what're we gonna do?"_

_"We'll figure it out." She pecked him on the forehead and laid down beside him. "I know we will."_

_"...I just realized you still have my shades."_

_"Yeah, and you're not getting them back, either."_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The others arrive in slow trickles, the final guest — Kelso — taking his seat a full thirty minutes after Hyde and Jackie arrived. They are well into their appetizers and almost half-way through a bottle of wine.

"Sorry I'm late," he says as he grabs a roll, "but I didn't want to come. Then I remembered, ' _free food!'_ Also, Betsy says 'hi'."

"Well we're glad you made it." Mrs. Forman forces a smile and shoots a look around the table for someone else to speak. No one does. " _So!_ " She taps her hands on the table. "Red and I invited all of you here so you kids can... clear the air."

She pauses briefly as the waitress arrives. They go around and place their orders. Jackie gets a refill of her peach tea. Eric gets another napkin, having spilled pesto on his first one. The waitress leaves. They sit silently for a moment before Mrs. Forman takes the initiative again;

"We thought everyone could go around and say something they want to discuss and then we can hash this whole thing out, put all this silliness behind us."

" _Silliness?"_

Mrs. Forman's smile slips, and Red glares at the others, a quiet and tangible threat in the air. It quiets again.

"Yes, well…. Maybe we can start with you, then?" Her grin is locked now, sharp and hard and wide enough to swallow a human whole.

" _Kitty_ …," Red murmurs in warning from behind the frosted glass of his beer.

Fez sips his wine. Kelso fiddles with his napkin. Eric looks everywhere but at the people around him and Hyde squeezes Jackie's hand, her thin fingers rubbing roughly over the peony tattoo near his thumb.

Donna purses her lips and glares at the older woman. She does not speak.

"I'll start!"

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Jackie went to the police station, wide-eyed and sweet, and told the cops how often she had seen the other Kelso boys wander in and out of that van, her voice so hopeful as she asked if there was any way the drugs had been someone else's and she had just jumped to conclusions in her worry._

"Sorry, Miss Burkhart, but no,"  _they had said._ "We had him take a drug test; it came back positive."

_Jackie reported her findings — with minor tweaking — to the others._

_"So there's no way to help?" Donna said it more as a statement than a question, her voice quiet and face crestfallen. Eric rested his hand on her shoulder._

_"Maybe he'll just get sent to rehab?" Fez didn't sound optimistic, but the others desperately clung to the suggestion. Maybe he'll get sent to rehab. Maybe their parents will let them visit. Maybe the prosecutor will suck and the judge will take pity and they can have him back and stop panicking and move on._

_The sounds of the television stretched through the room. Fez held onto the couch. Jackie held onto a pillow. Eric and Donna held onto each other._

_Hyde held onto the moment, white-knuckled and cold, and remembered the last time he'd felt so helpless, remembered this couldn't be fixed by an old man's yelling and a new address, remembered his place there was limited. It always had been, and soon, they'd know it, too._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Fez slowly brings his hand down, warily eyeing the nearby diners that had turned at his exclamation. The strangers look away. Fez speaks;

"I am hurt that you waited so long to contact us. You should have called when Jackie turned eighteen and you got married. She was an adult! The police wouldn't have taken her away!"

Jackie nods in acknowledgment and bites her lip briefly. She and Hyde share a glance. The others look at them, waiting for a response.

"Keep it short!" Red orders right as Jackie opens her mouth. She sighs heavily.

"Ok, we didn't contact anyone because I was eighteen when we left and we didn't know if the cops were investigating it as a kidnapping," he says. "By the time the statute of limitations had run out… it was just easier to stay away."

Eric frowns.

"That's pretty shitty reasoning. You know we wouldn't have narced."

"We weren't sure if you knew that we were the reason Michael was arrested."

Eric continues to frown, but Fez nods in reluctant understanding. Kelso's face is blank. Donna's is more so.

"Look, it is what it is. Now, who's next?" Hyde takes a drink and sits back.

" _I—_ "

Eric punches Kelso's shoulder.

"I'll take it from here, thank you."

Kelso mouths  _ow_ , absently rubbing his shoulder as the waitress arrives. They fall silent as she sets their dishes down, politely waiting for her to leave to begin swapping side dishes. Eric trades his corn-on-the-cob for Donna's salad and speaks;

"Why did you get Kelso arrested?"

Hyde glances at the Formans, and Jackie decides it's her turn to answer.

"I got caught with… stuff, and Steven said it was his. I panicked and convinced the officer that Steven was covering for Michael." She pauses and looks down at her pasta, absently poking at it with her fork. "We thought the Kelsos would pay off the cops."

"I had a juvvie record working against me and Jackie's a lawyer's daughter, we thought Kelso had a better shot of getting out unscathed." Hyde nudges his applesauce to Jackie and swipes her garlic bread. "We didn't  _plan_ to screw him over, it just happened that way."

Donna scoffs.

Hyde turns to her and raises his eyebrows.

"You want to take your turn, now, Pinciotti?"

Donna stares at him, her expression hard.

"Yeah, I do."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Pamela Burkhart came to town, sold a house, spent a good few hours at a spa with Jackie, and went on her merry way. Jack Burkhart returned from Milwaukee and locked himself in his study, buried in paperwork. Jackie never saw him, and Hyde went back to climbing through windows._

_"Well, that's one less thing to worry about, I guess," Jackie said unconvincingly, sipping discontentedly at a brandy she'd swiped from her mother's stash. "I can freak out all I want without my dad asking what's wrong."_

_"I can call you kitten if it'd help."_

_"I'll hit you."_

_"Ok, kitten."_

_Jackie smacked him and Hyde smirked._

_"I guess I deserved that."_

_"Yes, you did." Jackie hung her head and leaned against him. "Remember when we had fun together, instead of all this panicking?"_

_"Ah, yes," Hyde replied, nodding sagely. "Back before we were assholes."_

_"Don't be ridiculous, Steven, we were always assholes."_

_Hyde smothered a laugh in her hair and Jackie let out a giggle._

_"I miss this," Jackie confessed, winding an arm around Hyde's neck. "Us. Just hanging out like this. Not feeling sick to my stomach all the fucking time."_

_Hyde didn't say it back. He felt it, too, but he still wasn't sure if it was something he wanted her to know. Even though he knew it was stupid, he kept waiting for some strike of inspiration to keep her hands clean, some way to make it so he was the only one thrown from the basement._

_(There wasn't a way — he'd tried for so long to create one, but all he could think of was painting himself a monster and he knew Eric, if no one else, would never believe it — but hope springs eternal and no matter how hard he tried to kill it, the damn feeling was persistent.)_

_Hyde didn't say it back, but he decided he could be selfish, just that once, just for a little while, and pulled her closer to him, his arms locked around her waist, his face buried in her curls, and told himself he could have this, now, before everything was ripped away._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

There is no way for this to go well.

"Why pin it on Kelso?"

Absolutely no way.

"Why not pin it on someone else?" Donna stares them down. The others' eyes dart from Donna to Jackie to Hyde. Fez bites his lip. Kelso butters a roll. The Formans sit stiffly, preparing to steer the conversation to calmer waters the second tempers flare again. "Someone you didn't  _know had drugs in their car_ , for example. Someone you  _hadn't sold drugs to._ "

"You sold  _what?_ "

Hyde ignores Red's anger and Mrs. Forman's shock. Jackie responds;

"First of all,  _I'm_ the one who pinned it on Michael, ok? So stop glaring at Steven like that." Jackie stares Donna down right back. Neither's gaze wavers. "And secondly, I panicked. I was blaming Michael for  _everything_ back then. I blamed him for the scratches on my dad's Lincoln, I blamed him for the missing booze in the liquor cabinet, I blamed him for my mom's lost jewelry I let Steven pawn when I was mad at her, alright, it was instinct." Her hands wrap around Hyde's. "I just didn't want Steven to go to jail."

"Ok, new question for  _Steven_."

"You had your question," Eric tells her, wrapping an arm around her that is quickly shrugged off.

"No, let her ask," Hyde says. He nods at Donna. "What'cha got for me, Pinciotti?"

"Why'd you jump to cover for Jackie but not Kelso?" She tilts her head in faux innocence, a look on her face like she's backed him into some corner, and Hyde frowns.

"Well,  _like we said_ , we thought the Kelsos would buy his way out," he repeats, annoyed. "You know, like they did every other time one of their spawn got pinched. Jackie's a  _lawyer's kid_. She'd have gotten shanked. Or… ruled with an iron fist." Jackie bumped her shoulder against his. "The worst thing that would've happened to Kelso was getting forced to sing an ABBA medley for a biker gang; I wasn't that worried about  _him_."

"You were  _never_ worried about him," Donna angrily accuses. Jackie slaps a hand on the table.

"That's  _not true_." Her voice is low and furious under the eyes of the spying patrons. "Steven and I spent every second  _agonizing_  over what was going to happen to Michael when we found out his parents weren't getting him out.  _Every. Second_ ," she says forcefully. "We didn't even stop when we left." Her face is hard, her grip on her fork harder. "We suddenly had all these new responsibilities and problems and we  _still_ lost sleep, wondering it Michael was ok."

Donna leans slowly in her seat, bringing her scowling face as close to Jackie as the table allows.

" _Bullshit._ "

" _Fuck you._ "

The food is long forgotten as the two women glare each other down. The others are stiff with anxiety, even Kelso seems uncomfortable, glancing uncertainly at Donna as if trying to gauge why she's taken such offense on his behalf. Hyde places his arm around Jackie's shoulders, gently pulling her away and back into her seat. She moves without protest, but without looking away either. Eric tries to do the same for Donna, and she wretches herself out of his hold.

"If you two were  _so goddamn concerned_  with Kelso all these years," she bites out, "how come this  _whole time_ ,  _neither_ of you have asked what happened to him?"

Jackie's eyes widen by millimeters. Hyde freezes. The people around them hold their breath.

Piano floats through the room.

"Excuse us, they're playing our song." Hyde grabs Jackie's hand and pulls her to the dance floor.

He doesn't know what song is playing, barely hears the cello start, but it doesn't matter as he pulls Jackie close to him and waits for her to speak. She's tense in his arms, her steps not as sure as he's used to and her gaze pointed blankly ahead. He squeezes her waist.

"We never asked." She's quiet. Her eyes don't move from his chin. "Steven, why didn't we ask?"

"...We didn't want to know."

Jackie lays her head on his shoulder and says nothing more.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Hyde did more chores, subtly slipping into the Formans' normal schedules and nudging the conversation to the topics he wanted. With Mrs. Forman, they discussed recipes for a budget, coupon stacking, and all the charities the churches ran for the less fortunate. From Red, Hyde learned how to fix things and repurpose things and, with only minimal prompting, the survival skills he'd acquired in the war._

_It was the little things, but Hyde was determined to take all he could when he left._

_"So, even if the carton says they're off, you can always tell if an egg has_ really  _gone bad if it floats."_

_"Huh." Hyde hadn't known that. He made a mental note._

_"You know, it's been nice having you around more," Mrs. Forman said. "With all the nastiness from Michael's arrest and… and Laurie…. Well, I've just enjoyed us spending more time together."_

_"Yeah, me too." Hyde was surprised to realize he meant it. He'd always liked Mrs. Forman, but she could be overbearing in large doses, especially with recent events kicking her protectiveness into overdrive. It wasn't like Hyde had anywhere to be that day, though, so he decided to indulge her. "So, how would—" The phone rang. "I got it."_

_"I should get started on dinner, anyway." Mrs. Forman went to the fridge and Hyde picked up the phone._

_"Hello?"_

_"_ Steven? _" Jackie sounded scared, as if she were only just holding back tears, and Hyde barely stopped himself from saying her name._

_"Yeah, Leo, man, what's up?" he said instead._

"Oh, is someone else there?" _She sniffled._ "I can call back."

_"Nah, man, I can do that, just let me check with Mrs. F." Hyde kept the phone to his ear as he turned to the eavesdropping woman. "Mrs. Forman, Leo went to visit a friend out of town but forgot he had a dog. He wants to know if I'll stop by his place and feed it."_

_"Of course, Steven," she agreed easily. "When will he be back?"_

_"By tomorrow but—"_

"I just really need to talk to you."

_"—he wants me to sweep up anything the dog might have chewed up, so I might not get back in til late."_

_"That's fine. I think it's very sweet of you to help your friend out." Mrs. Forman patted his shoulder approvingly and pushed an apple into his hand. "Here's a snack. I'll leave a plate out for you to heat up when you get back."_

_"Thanks, Mrs. Forman." Hyde returned to the phone conversation. "I'll head over now, don't worry."_

"Ok." _Jackie's voice cracked, and Hyde reluctantly hung up the phone._

_"Give the dog a hug from me, will you?"_

_"Sure thing." Hyde checked his pocket for the house key and headed for the sliding door._

_"Be safe!"_

_"I will!" Hyde stepped out onto the back porch. "See you in the morning." And he was gone._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Twelve**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took _for fucking ever_ and then I had to break it into two parts so I’m not even where I wanted to be by the end of this so fuck me I guess. Once again, didn't read through as often as I would prefer to check for mistakes, so pointing out any would be appreciated.
> 
> I had to do _so much fucking tweaking for this chapter y’all_. The second-to-last flashback was supposed to be the last flashback/end of the chapter but then I had an idea and now here we are. Chapter 13 should be in mostly 1987 bc I have a lot of shit to get through in that era to bring the 80’s/70’s back into proper parallel.
> 
> The next chapter will _also_ take a while bc I suck, but I PROMISE, _it will be done!!!_ I like this story too much to not finish it.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not gonna apologize again for taking so long bc I warned y’all. But y’all know. Y’all know I am.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

They dance silently for two more songs before Jackie spots Kelso alone at their table.

"I'm going to go talk to him," she says.

"Jackie, you don't have to do that," he tells her.

"Yes, I do."

"Jackie, we did something horrible, but so did he," Hyde points out. "No matter what Donna says, we don't owe him anything."

"I know," Jackie insists, "but I just…. I have to do this. For me. Please."

He sighs, resigned, and leads her off the dance floor, his hand in the small of her back.

"Let's go."

"No, Steven." She places her hand on his chest. "I need to do this alone." Hyde opens his mouth to protest and her hands cup his face. "You didn't stop me," she says. "That's all you did to him." Her thumbs trace his cheekbones and he wants to tell her she's wrong, wants to list off all the reasons her idea is a bad one, but he sees her mind is set.

"Don't let him make you feel bad."

"I won't."

He kisses her and she walks away. He turns to the bar and sees Eric.

_Might as well._

He walks over.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The beer is expensive, but the music is low and there is nothing to block Hyde's view of their table. He watches as Jackie sits across from Kelso, watches her try to speak and watches him try to ignore her.

"He still hasn't learned that he can't ignore Jackie?"

"You know nothing sticks with that guy."

Hyde continues to stare at them as Eric orders a drink. Eric doesn't try to stop him, instead turning around to lean against the bar, his eyes now locked on the two as well.

"Well this is a crapfest."

"Did you expect any different?"

"Nah, not really." Eric takes a swig of his beer. Hyde slowly swirls his bottle.

The diners converse, the silverware clinks, the band carries on, and their silence stretches stretches  _stretches_  until Hyde can't stand it anymore.

"I'm not sorry we left," he says at last. Eric makes a noise in the back of his throat but doesn't reply. "I'm not. It was the only option we had back then." Hyde doesn't turn his head, doesn't look for his once-brother's reaction, though he dearly wants to. "But I'm sorry for the shit it caused."

Eric takes another drink.

"I know you are."

There is no way to reply to that and Hyde moves on rather than try to find one.

"So what happened to Kelso?" Eric is silent. "That bad, huh?"

"Not really, looking back," Eric says. "But at the time…."

"Yeah."

"His parents did pay off the cops, in the end," he tells him. "Kind of. They kept him out of jail, but he had a bunch of fines and community service and a record."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"His parents threw him out, man."

Hyde inhales sharply, a wet sound shooting through his teeth.

 _There it is,_ he thinks.  _Shit._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_The walk to Jackie's place was cold and quiet. Hyde's fingers curled tight around the box cutter in his pocket._

_Hyde kicked a rock, vaguely watched it skid across the street before bouncing against a curb. Somewhere, a dog barked. To his left, the faint sounds of a television set._

_Jackie didn't like him walking alone at night. She was convinced that one day, someone would see his beat-up jacket and his well-worn shoes and his filthy torn jeans and decide he was the one to mug._

"Poor people don't care about  _logic_ , Steven."

_What could possibly have Jackie so upset that she had to call him away so late? Had something happened to Kelso? Her parents? Had she gotten her court summons?_

_A car drove past, blinding him for a moment before turning a corner and fading away. Hyde hoped Jackie could hold it together until he got there._

_He walked._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hyde trades his empty beer bottle for a sifter of brandy.

"Said they had enough to deal with from their other kids, they didn't want to deal with drug problems, too," Eric says.

Hyde doesn't look at him. Eric doesn't try to make him. The brandy is bitter and overpriced but it goes down smooth.

"He lived out of his van, kept it parked in my driveway every second my dad didn't chase him away," Eric continues. "Mom fed him and let him use our shower. We had a pool going for when she would finally convince my dad to just let him move in."

"Did he?" Hyde asks, still staring into his glass.

"Didn't have to." At this, Hyde looks up. Eric takes one last swig of his beer and turns to meet his eyes. "Brooke Rockwell showed up with the newest Kelso baby and his parents decided they forgave him after all."

Hyde scoffs.

"Let me guess: to prove it, they fixed up a nursery and offered to babysit any time?"

"To prove it, they offered to fund a custody battle," Eric says, his voice flat even as Hyde stares at him in disbelief at their gall. "Kelso took the money, told them to shove the custody suit up their ass, got himself an apartment with Fez, and told Brooke he wanted to help her with the baby."

"Just like that?" Hyde asks dubiously. Kelso obviously adores his daughter, but he'd freaked out to the point of fainting that time he'd thought Jackie was pregnant. Hyde finds it hard to believe he'd take the news of becoming a father so maturely only a year and a half later.

"Well, we had to kick him around a little first so he'd stop avoiding Brooke, but he got his crap together eventually."

"I guess he really has changed," Hyde says thoughtfully. He then remembers their trip to Funland. "To an extent."

"Yeah, man, we all have," Eric agrees, trading the bartender his empty bottle for a new one. "It's weird to think about, you know?" He does. "I mean, you used to be this stoned bundle of pissed-off that lived in my basement, but the only fight you've gotten into since you got back was because Kelso jumped you."

Hyde smirks and lets out a breath of air that could almost be called a laugh. He looks back to their table where he sees Jackie talking calmly with Kelso, primly eating her pasta as Kelso goes on about something-or-other, smiling patiently as she waits for her turn to speak.

Yeah, they've changed.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_There were several lights on but only a single car in the garage as Hyde finally came upon the Burkhart manor. The sound of late night television greeted him as he unlocked the door. David Bowie drifted down the stairs._

_No parents._

_Hyde heard slamming as someone searched frantically through the rooms upstairs. He quietly laid the entrance table on its side and broke off one of its legs, holding it up like a bat, his box cutter open and pressed along the makeshift handle._

_He crept up the stairs._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hyde watches as Jackie and Kelso's conversation seems to wrap up, watches her look around for him, and turns back to his once-brother.

"I need you to do something, Forman," he says, his voice casual but low.

"I'll tell my mom to lay off."

"Two somethings." Hyde freezes, his jaw working up and down uselessly, before inwardly smacking himself and continuing on; "I need you to talk to Donna."

Eric blinks.

"Why?"

Hyde glances at his wife and sees she's still searching.

"Remember ten years ago when I was an asshole about you two getting together?" Hyde barely waits for Eric to nod. "I never apologized for that, and I know we had some unspoken agreement to just ignore the awkwardness until it went away, but I think Donna's still a little messed up by it."

Eric starts to look concerned. Jackie finally spots them and stands.

"What makes you think that?"

"I'll let her tell you that," Hyde says as Jackie skirts around the dance floor on her way to the bar. Donna and Fez have returned to the table. The Formans dance happily just a little ways off. "But you really need to talk to her about it."

Eric nods and Jackie appears, her arm winding around his, her hand warm and reassuring on his wrist.

"And I am, man," Hyde forces out while he has the willpower. "Sorry, I mean. I'm really sorry."

Jackie looks at them, her fingers moving to intertwine with his, and Hyde waits for some kind of reaction from the other man. Eric says nothing, and Hyde nods, turning away to leave with his wife. He feels an open palm smack into his shoulder. He turns back.

"I forgive you." Hyde stares. "I mean, brothers fight but… you know. They're still brothers." Eric shrugs and Hyde recognizes the stupid look he makes when he thinks he's about to be funny. "And you've never locked me in a closet with a dead fish until I cried, so we're one-up on the Kelso siblings, at least."

"We were already one-up when our parents met outside of a family reunion."

"Nice burn," Eric compliments. Hyde smirks.

"Yeah, yeah, the Kelsos are hillbillies," Jackie says, tugging on Hyde's hand. "Let's finish our food before it gets any colder."

"You already finished your food," Hyde points out, following her back to the table. He vaguely senses Eric walking behind him.

"Only mostly. Also, I hope you weren't looking forward to that garlic bread, because it's long gone."

"Why am I marrying you?"

"We're already married, dear."

"Crap."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

" _So…_ ," Mrs. Forman says, anxiously fiddling with the tablecloth. "Are we all friends again?"

Uncertain glances are shot at Kelso and Donna. Donna doesn't glare, but she looks sternly around at the others. Kelso speaks up around a mouthful of burger;

"I still have to ask my question."

Red rolls his eyes.

"Make it quick, kettlehead."

Kelso turns to Hyde and Jackie, his face as serious as he can make it with a streak of mustard on his cheek. Next to him, Jackie's jaw clenches. Under the table, Hyde's leg wraps around hers.

"Will the wedding be open bar?"

Jackie relaxes and Hyde snorts.

"Whose fancy fucking wedding do you think you're going to?"

Eric and Fez laugh. Mrs. Forman smiles. Donna seems to lose a fraction of her tension and Red looks indulgently on at the morons he has somehow still not managed to shake.

"Well what's the point if there's no open bar?"

"Jackie picked hot bridesmaids."

"Sold!"

A knife taps against a wineglass. Mrs. Forman clears her throat.

"I propose a toast," she says, clearly ready to take advantage of the pleasant atmosphere while it lasts. "To the future!"  _To moving on,_  she doesn't say.  _To new beginnings. To bygones._ They hear it, though, in the clink of her wedding ring against the glass. In the brittleness of her smile. The wet sheen of her eyes.

Hyde raises his bitter brandy and nods to the woman who raised him. The others follow suit.

" _The future!"_   they say, their voices strong and clear, even as they try not to disturb the other diners anymore than they already have.

Jackie gulps down her peach tea, making a slight face at the taste, and reaches over for Hyde's mashed potatoes. He slides them away.

"I love you, but no."

" _Steven_."

"Nope."

He smiles as she pouts and pretends not to notice her sneaking a bite while he looks around the table.

Speed bumps, potholes, and now finally, a gravel road. Maybe they'll make it back to pavement one day.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Hyde looked around, his improvised bat held high and ready to swing at a moment's notice, and saw each room undisturbed — the guest room, the lounge, the office. He peeked into Jackie's room, muscles tense for whatever danger she might be in, and saw a large luggage case on the bed._

_Jackie frantically threw things into it._

_Hyde finally pushed open the door, his bat slumping in his now weak grip, and watched as she ran to her dresser, slammed each drawer open or closed, and ran back to her bed, stuffing her findings into the suitcase without her usual regard for proper folding technique._

_"Jackie, what's going on?" Hyde asked, leaning the table leg against the door frame and closing his box cutter again._

_She jumped and turned to him, the scarf she'd been clutching held above her head as if she'd been about to throw it._

_"Steven," she breathed, grasping at her chest in relief._

_"Jackie," Hyde repeated._ "What. Is going. On?"  _He examined at the chaos, the clothes hanging out of dressers and closets, the makeup strewn across every surface, the shoes haphazardly sticking out of a smaller bag he'd only just noticed poking out from beneath the bed._

What the hell?

_"Steven, I can't stay here."_

_Hyde looked back up at her and found only hysteria on her face._

_"I can't do this."_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

They miraculously finish their food with only minimal shenanigans.

(Kelso somehow manages to stick a butter knife to his cheek, which Fez promptly knocks off with a well-aimed kernel of corn he'd stolen from Donna. Red threatens to stick his foot up both their asses. Jackie finishes off his mashed potatoes.)

Their plates are cleared away and a dessert menu brought out as a pretty ginger steps onto the stage and begins to sing.

" _Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band._ "

Jackie gasps happily and pats Hyde's shoulder until he finally turns from the list of cheesecakes to look at her. Her eyes sparkle as she bites her lip hopefully. The pale purple gloss doesn't even smear. Hyde sighs with dramatic reluctance.

"Be right back," he tells the others and Jackie cheers as he takes her hand and leads her back to the dance floor.

" _Turning back she just laughs, the boulevard is not that bad._ "

They sway to the singer's beat, finally feeling the peace they had spent their reunion searching for. It is not perfect, but it is real, and it is theirs.

"Did you have a good talk with Kelso, then?"

"Yeah." Jackie smiles. "I think we'll be ok now." She bobs her head. "Eventually." She squeezes her arms tight around him. "We'll get there."

"I'm glad."

"How was your talk with Eric?"

"Good," Hyde says. "We'll be good."

" _The words she knows, the tune she hums._ "

Jackie smiles wider and her foot misses a beat. Jackie  _never_  misses a beat.

"Baby, you ok?"

"'M fine." Her foot skips again.

" _Jackie?_ "

" _Hold me closer tiny dancer. Count the headlights on the highway._ "

Her eyes are wrong and her lips are strange and her breathing is off. She sags in his arms.

 _"You had a busy day today._ "

" _Jackie!"_ Her pulse too slow and her breathing is too harsh and Hyde has never felt such terror as the dancers around them slowly back away and Mrs. Forman pushes her way to them. Jackie starts to shake. " _Someone call an ambulance!"_

" _Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man._ "

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Thirteen**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I removed the part where Hyde tells Eric that he thinks Donna is messed up emotionally by Hyde’s attempt to “steal her away” ten years ago, and that Eric should talk to her about it because I felt it fit better in this chapter. I didn’t just take the conversation away, I did add some stuff, but nothing very pertinent to the plot, so don’t feel obligated to go back and read it.
> 
> Second, **TRIGGER WARNING NEXT CHAPTER**. The thing I couldn’t tag because it would spoil too much plot will be coming up in the next chapter. I will post the trigger itself at the end notes of Chapter 14. Once again, the trigger **is not** _rape, self injury, or any type of eating disorder,_ but if you are triggered by something, please proceed with caution when the next chapter is posted. If you want to know if what you are triggered by is going to be in Chapter 14 but don’t want to potentially unnecessarily spoil the plot for yourself, feel free to leave a comment, if you are comfortable, and I will contact you.
> 
> Third, I was, in fact, thinking of Florence Welch's cover of _Tiny Dancer_ and the ginger singer _is_ a nod to her. Please listen to it if you have not.
> 
> Fourth, I again did not read through this as often as I prefer because I wanted it out sooner. Please point out any mistakes you may notice. I very much want them fixed.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Reminder:** this chapter contains a trigger warning. Admittedly, after writing and rewriting and changing some of the things I had originally planned, the scene is not graphic at all, but just in case. The warning is in the end notes — along with a brief summary for those who may not wish to read the chapter in detail — please refer to them if necessary.
> 
> Be safe, y’all.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Surviving Edna, leaving everything, struggling those first few years away,  _nothing_ was more difficult than letting Mrs. Forman ride in the ambulance with Jackie. She was calling out medical information with a stern calm Hyde wishes he had the capacity to marvel at as the machines go crazy, as Jackie starts to seize, as vomit shoots out of her mouth and onto the attending EMTs.

The car ride to the hospital is done with a police escort. It takes three minutes, tops. They stretch into hours, days, and Hyde swears it is a decade later when he steps out of the car again.

Jackie is gone, disappeared into the whiteness of the walls and sickly antiseptic scent of the everything, and Mrs. Forman is banished from her side, her foot tapping a mind-numbing tattoo, her nails shrinking with each fretful bite. The red of her dress hurts his eyes after the dullness of the car, the halls, the break deep inside of him that's drained all feeling away in a poor attempt at self-preservation.

Jackie is in trouble. It's not a trouble he can fight, not one he can outmaneuver nor outmatch. He is absolutely, objectively,  _truly_ worthless.

He sits down, thumb absently tracing the peony on his hand. The flower Jackie had worn in her hair that one prom, that she had bought a bouquet of for their apartment that first time their paychecks had a little money to spare, that she had picked for the centerpieces for their reception.

Their wedding.

She still has so much to do. This will not stop her.

Hyde curls down within himself, his knuckle between his teeth, his head between his knees.

She is stronger than this.

She has to be.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_"What do you mean, you 'can't do this'?"_

_"I mean I_ can't do this, _Steven,_ I can't."  _Her face was devastated, cracked like her voice, like that unicorn candy dish laying somewhere in the county dump. "It's driving me_ crazy _. The court summons is going to come any day now and then Michael will be in prison and everyone will_ hate  _me and…. I can't keep this up, Steven, please,_ please _don't make me, please."_

_She clung to him with a desperation he had never experienced, sobbing into his chest, cracking-breaking-shattering in his arms._

_"It's ok, baby," he shushed. "It'll be ok."_

_He tried to hold her together. He hoped it'd work._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

They shove a clipboard at him.

"Fill this out."

No please, no thank you, and Hyde appreciates the lack of pleasantries, the fraction of evidence that they don't waste time, but he hates that fucking form.

_Name, age, weight, so on, so forth, blah blah blah…._

Whatever he writes will be their whole view of her, this little form, their way of differentiating her from the thousands of other little forms in their files, the hundreds of little forms in their rooms… whatever he writes here.

_Jackie Hyde, 26, why in God's name did they think she would let me know…._

They don't care about how she always locks him out of the bathroom when she weighs herself or about how many times he'd tried to throw away that stupid scale. They don't care about their trip to the movies to see  _Fatal Attraction_ on her birthday or about the insults she'd muttered about Dan throughout the film. They didn't care about how Jackie had been so happy about getting married that she'd spent three days teaching herself how to sew so she could patch her new initials on her jackets and purses and _every single hand towel_ in their apartment.

She was a name on a bed to them, another room they have to check on throughout the day, and it's only rational, Hyde knows, not to let every case get personal, but he  _wants_ them to care, wants them to know her, how incredible she is, how important she is, how completely, utterly  _shattered_ he will be if they can't fix her.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"Is your wife on any medications?"

"She took a Tylenol this morning, and our doctor has her on something, Meth- Methy…  _something_ …. It's for high blood pressure, runs in her family."

"Methyldopa?"

"That sounds right."

"And that's all your wife is taking?"

"She's been on some home remedy kick, ok? Lemon balms and… lavender candles and that crap. She hasn't even taken cough medicine in a month."

They are around him, crowded and worried as he answers the nurse's questions, some standing, some sitting hunched over in the most uncomfortable chairs known to man. There are people Hyde should call, people who need to know Jackie is in trouble, people he knows Jackie will want around to support her when she opens her eyes — (and she  _will_ open her eyes, the thought of anything else makes him want to slit his own throat) — but he can't move. To step away, to go anywhere the doctors would not be able to immediately find him, even for a second…. He can't do it.

"Does your wife—"

 _"Her name is Jackie, goddamn it."_  Hyde slams his fist on an end table and everyone jumps. Mrs. Forman moves to wrap her arm around him. Eric puts one hand on his shoulder. Red stands above them, stern and protective. The nurse stares at him, dead-eyed and unmoved.

"...Does Jackie have a history of drug use?"

"She smoked pot for a while, nine years ago, and she once accidentally smoked some cut with coke, but she hasn't touched anything since."

"Please, is there anything you can tell us?" Mrs. Forman asks, rubbing gently across Hyde's back.

The nurse waits for Hyde to nod before answering;

"We took some chest x-rays, but they haven't come back yet, and blood work is inconclusive at the moment," she tells them. "She's stopped seizing and vomiting, and her lips and fingernails are back to their natural color."

"Natural color?" Hyde asks.

"Yes, they were blue," the nurse says. "It's a sign of low oxygen levels in the blood. We've put her on airway support and given her fluids. I'll come find you when there's news."

The nurse leaves and Mrs. Forman starts muttering, listing everything she can think of that causes Jackie's symptoms, throwing each theory away before properly considering it. Red is saying prayers. Fez is saying blessings. Eric's fingers are tapping, Kelso's leg is bouncing, Donna is pacing, and Hyde is trapped in his own helplessness. Jackie had been  _suffocating_ and he hadn't noticed. His emotions are piling up quicker than that break inside can drain them. It's too much. It's too dark. He's falling. He's  _drowning_.

He bites his knuckle again and waits for his nails to turn blue.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"Steven, it's nearly midnight, you can't stay here."

"Sure I can."

"No, really, they won't let you sleep in the waiting room. There might be an emergency where they need the space, and you can't stay in Jackie's room until the doctors know what's going on." The x-rays showed nothing, a new slew of blood tests are underway, and Mrs. Forman is trying to coax Hyde into the Toyota.

"Just bring my Camino from the restaurant, I'll sleep in the bed."

" _Steven_ —"

"Kitty." It's the first time Red's spoken in a while, preferring to be a silent pillar of support. Hyde had appreciated it, his lack of  _there there_ 's and  _it'll all be ok_ 's. He appreciates Red ushering Mrs. Forman away even more.

He hears them whispering, though he can't make out the words, and eventually Mrs. Forman walks away and Red sits down.

"You can't stay here."

"She was  _suffocating_ , and I took her dancing."

"You can't blame yourself—"

"Her lipstick was  _pink_ ," Hyde says, staring down at his hands. "It was  _pink_ but her mouth was purple,  _how_ didn't I…?" It's the closest Hyde's come to tears in seven years, and he chokes it down just as hard as he'd done then. "I'm supposed to protect her."

They don't look at each other, too emotionally stunted for this shit, and Hyde would trade his entire savings to be allowed to crawl into his car and break down in peace, but he doesn't hear Red leave.

"I was in the navy, son," Red says as if there is any chance that Hyde has forgotten in the years he'd been gone. "I know what it's like to be responsible for someone and be in a situation where you can't do a damn thing for them."

"But they were all fine?" Hyde asks sarcastically.

"Not all of them," Red answers candidly. "Some died, some lived, some were never the same."

"Thanks for that."

"My point is, I had nothing to do with it." Red shakes his head. "Whether I was there or not, it didn't matter. It's up to God, now. You can't change that."

"What if there's news?"

"They won't call you unless there's an emergency."

"What if there's an emergency?" Red sighs and Hyde turns to him. "I know I can't do anything, I know my being here is meaningless, but if they find something out, I want to know the second it happens."

Red sighs again and nods his head.

"I think I can get Kitty to pull some strings."

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_"So,_ what?  _What do you want? You wanna_ run away?" _Hyde asked once Jackie had pulled herself together._

_"I can't think of any other way," Jackie said pleadingly. "I'm going crazy here, Steven. I can't sleep, I can't eat — eventually, my parents are going to notice something!"_

_"Jackie, this is insane, we_ can't  _run away."_

"Then you don't have to come."

_Jackie looks devastated at the idea, but the words slapped Hyde across the face with the force of Edna's drunken hand. The thought of Jackie off and alone in the world without him there to watch out for her…. It didn't register. It wasn't a real idea, more a bad plot for a worse movie than anything rooted in reality._

_Jackie was smart and resourceful and knew exactly how to use her looks to get her way, but she was also small and naive and couldn't entertain the thought of someone seriously wanting to hurt her. She wasn't going anywhere without him._

_"You don't even know what FICA is, you'd die out there."_

_"I'll learn."_

_"Jackie, you're not going anywhere without me, now give me one good reason I shouldn't tie you to something until you see sense." Jackie was silent. "I mean it, doll, I'll call everyone up and tell them right now if it's killing you that bad."_

"No!" _She made to lunge for him, but stopped herself before she took a step. She took a deep breath. "No, please."_

_"Baby, talk to me."_

_Jackie sniffled, thoughtlessly wiping her face with her sleeve._

_"We should… run away," she said, "because I_ can't stand _to be here… and neither can you."_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The nurses still love Mrs. Forman and make room for Hyde in the break room at her request. They say they'll wake him in a few hours or when there's news, whichever comes first, but Mrs. Forman must have gotten to them because he doesn't wake up until nearly noon.

"You shouldn't have let me sleep so long."

"You needed it."

"No, I didn't." Hyde still feels like hell. His mind is muggy, his eyes hurt, and there's a weird taste in his mouth from last night's brandy. "Where's everyone else?"

Kelso is scribbling in a  _Highlights_ magazine, Donna is working on an article, and Mrs. Forman only spared Hyde a kiss on the cheek before darting off to collect any news her former co-workers might let slip.

"Eric's getting everyone lunch and foreign kid's calling around to get someone to cover his shift," Red says, poking through the remaining magazines. He grabs at a  _Men's Health_ and hides himself behind it. Hyde takes the hint and sits down right as Eric shows up with the food. He shoves a burger in Hyde's hands and Hyde mechanically unwraps it to eat.

He's been awake less than an hour and it's already a long day.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"Mr. Hyde?" It's a doctor this time. There will be actual  _news_  this time. Hyde braces himself. "Could I talk to you in private, please?"

"I'm his mother, I'm coming with him," Mrs. Forman says, grabbing onto Hyde's arm.

"Now, Kitty, I know that's not true."

"It's ok, she can come," Hyde says, getting up to follow the doctor. "She can translate the big words."

Mrs. Forman holds tight to his elbow as if she expects him to collapse at any moment. She's not wrong to do so.

"Mrs. Hyde is asleep at the moment," the doctor says as they walk away. "Her body is very weak, but her outlook is good. These first twenty-four hours are crucial, but I'm optimistic."

" _Oh thank god_." Hyde bends over, gripping his knees, and takes a moment to make sure he won't break down from sheer relief. The time for breaking down had passed — Jackie was going to be ok.

"But what was wrong, Chaz?" Mrs. Forman asks as Hyde collects himself.

"Closest we can tell, tetrahydrozoline poisoning."

Hyde is still not calm, but he stands anyway.

"Poison?"  _Poison?_ "How the fuck did Jackie get poisoned? How powerful is this stuff?"

Mrs. Forman is too busy reading through the chart she'd pulled off the doctor to call Hyde on his language, eyes darting around quickly as she speeds through the pages.

"Tetrahydrozoline poisoning is actually one of the more common cases of poisoning, though it's usually found in children who get into the medicine cabinet," the doctor says.

Suddenly, Mrs. Forman gasps, her mouth covered in horror, her eyes immediately filling with tears.

"Mrs. Forman?" Hyde looks to her in concern, but the doctor calls his attention again.

"That brings me to the other bit of news." The doctor pats Mrs. Forman soothingly on the shoulder, then turns to Hyde with a sympathetic look on his face. "I'm sorry, Mr. Hyde, but we weren't able to save the baby."

_…Baby?_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_"When this breaks, you won't be able to distract yourself by worrying about me, you'll have your own problems to deal with, and you'll realize how little you want to deal with them, so let's just leave them all behind, just_ think about it."

_Jackie had an almost manic look on her face, eyes wide and sparkling as she gestured at nothing, painting the scene; "You and me, big city — maybe New York — taking on the world! We'll have a small apartment, but it'll be so nicely decorated we won't even notice. I'll work at a make-up counter until I get discovered as a model; you'll be a busboy until you write a song about me and it takes off!"_

_"Jackie—"_

_"Then we'll move into a real house with a lot of rooms and— and a_ pool  _and—"_

"Jackie, that's not how the world works!"

"I don't care!  _I_ don't care,  _Steven," she said, stomping a foot with each word. "Ok? Maybe we'll live in a shitty apartment with a leaky rook and I'll have to work at a burger place and you'll pawn our neighbor's stuff when they're at work, and I don't care. We'll be together, and away from this, and I won't feel like throwing up all the time, and you won't worry about me so much anymore, and it'll just be better. It'll be_ so much better,  _Steven, you know it will be."_

_Jackie went through a dozen different emotions in an hour, but it was the first time that she had looked at him and seemed earnest. Hyde pulled her back into his arms._

_"I'm always gonna worry about you, doll."_

_"Well, then, I'll finally be able to worry about you, too."_

_It was a fantasy. A stupid, impossible fantasy and fuck it was tempting. Hadn’t he been so ready to throw everything away not even a year ago? And for much dumber reasons. And when he’d still had his friendships to count on. And with someone he’d cared about so much less._

_There was a difference between the restlessness he’d felt then and the hopelessness he felt now, but the want to run away was exactly the same. It hadn’t changed in all the years he’d felt it, but he’d managed to resist it for so long._

_He didn’t have the strength to resist this time._

_"Sounds like a plan."_

_Jackie looked up at him, a shadow of a smile making its way onto her face._

_"Really?"_

_"Gimme an hour."_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Mrs. Forman leads Hyde to a wall and helps him slide down, looking at him in worry all the while.

"Chaz, how'd you think Jackie got tetrahydrozoline poisoning?" she asks, continuing to hover over Hyde.

She's a nurse. She knows these things. If Hyde were to think about it for even a second, he would realize she asks questions for his benefit, because he is in no state to ask them himself, but his thoughts circle around one thing;

_There was a baby…._

"In adults? Usually, it's a prank gone wrong," the doctor says, politely ignoring their place on the ground. "There's an old wives' tale that putting a few drops in someone's drink would cause explosive diarrhea."

 _We were going to have a_ baby _…._

"How the hell can anyone believe that when it can do something like this?" Mrs. Forman growls out. She is trying to distract him, to pull his thoughts from his dead child to his hurting wife. It does not work. Hyde does not speak.

_We were going to be parents…._

"This doesn't usually happen without a much larger dose, but it reacted badly to the prescribed Methyldopa."

"Jackie was pregnant?" Hyde sounds lost, small, and Mrs. Forman immediately gathers him up into her arms. She kisses his head, whispering apologies and prayers and " _it's ok, Steven, it will be ok"_ , but he is too numb to be soothed by her presence. He's not a little boy anymore; his hurts cannot be solved by a kiss and a  _Scooby-Doo_ bandage.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Hyde, I thought you knew."

"Do you think Jackie knew?" Hyde asks no one, more thinking aloud.

"There's a good chance," the doctor answers anyway. "Methyldopa as a blood pressure medicine is typically prescribed to expectant mothers. First-time mothers also sometimes go through a 'home remedy kick', as you called it."

Somehow, Hyde is more horrified.

"Does she know what happened?"

"She hasn't fully woken up yet," the doctor says. "We haven't been able to tell her."

Hyde steels himself.

"Let me do it."

They share a look. The doctor nods.

"...I'll make a note."

The people they'd left behind start to get restless, calling questions down the hallway despite Red's equally loud attempts to get them to shut up. Mrs. Forman rubs Hyde's arm.

"One second, Steven," she says as she gets up. She turns to the doctor. " _Watch him_ ," she orders through clenched teeth before going back the way they'd come. " _Would you all just shut up!"_

"I'm very sorry, son," the doctor says as Mrs. Forman walks away. Hyde moves his mouth soundlessly.

"Me too."

"The medical community has spent years disproving that idiotic rumor." The doctor shakes his head. "Or trying to get bigger warnings on those eye drop bottles, at least, but no one wants to listen."

"W-what?"

" _Exactly!_  People can be so stupid sometimes—"

"No, the eye drop thing."

"Oh." The doctor blinks. "Tetrahydrozoline is the active ingredient in eye drops. Eye drop consumption is how all of these poisonings happen."

 _Eye drops, pranks, people can be_ stupid _…_

Hyde stands.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Mrs. Forman is updating the others when Hyde breaks Kelso's nose.

Hyde barely registers the screaming as he climbs on top of Kelso and continues to punch. His mind is blank, his face is blank, everything is blank, everything is dull, everything is red and red and red as his fist comes down again and again and again.

Red and Donna pull him off.

 _"What the fuck is wrong with you?"_ Donna screams as she joins Mrs. Forman and Fez at Kelso's side. Eric runs off to get more nurses.

Hyde doesn't hear him.

"Look at me, son," Red says, gripping his shoulders. "What's going on?"

Hyde doesn't hear anything.

_Baby, Jackie, eye drops, poison, poison, poison poison poisonpoisonpoison—_

" _Steven!"_ Red shakes him.

"Poison."

"What?"

"Jackie was poisoned." Hyde's barely aware of the words even as he says them. "As a prank." Barely aware of the world even as it moves around him. "By eye drops." Barely aware of the others even as they scream.

Red understands immediately.

" _Kelso!"_ he calls. The others quiet as Kelso is helped up and into a chair. A nurse begins cleaning his injuries as Red continues to speak; "Did you try to pull a prank on Jackie last night?"

"What?" Kelso asks stupidly, leaning back at the nurse's instruction.

"Did you put eye drops in Jackie's food last night?"

"No," Kelso says. He seems to be telling the truth. Hyde doesn't know how to feel about that, then Kelso speaks again; "I put some in  _Hyde's_ food. You know, while he and Jackie were at the bar. I put some in his mashed potatoes so he'd get the runs and we'd be even."

"You put  _eye drops_ in Steven's food?" Mrs. Forman says incredulously.

"And Jackie's drink," Kelso adds. "To be fair."

"Eye drops are highly _toxic_ , Michael!" Mrs. Forman yells. Kelso's eyes widen and dart to the people surrounding him.

"I… I didn't know," he insists. "I  _swear_ , I didn't know!"

 _"I don't give a fuck!"_ Kelso flinches back from Hyde's glare.

There are no words for the emotion inside of him, no words for the horrifying twist of hate and guilt and fury and sorrow. All that he is has been ripped away from him, pulled out from his throat to splatter across his chest like so much bile. It seeps into his shirt, drips into his shoes, staining everything on the way down. There is no term for this, this feeling of being scooped empty and bleached clean, and Hyde would find it a mercy that this is not a feeling common enough for words was there only mercy in him to find.

He wants to break Kelso's ribs open. He does not.

" _Stay away from us_. You got that? Forget we came back, forget we exist, just leave us alone."

"Hyde—"

He leaves. He needs to find Doctor Chaz again. Jackie will be awake soon.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

A soft flutter of her eyelids, a small twitch of her lips, a single finger moves beneath his hand and Hyde squeezes as she slowly wakes up.

She turns her head and a lazy smile comes across her face at the sight of him.

"Hey, puddin'."

"Hey, baby doll."

He does not smile back.

"What's wrong?"

"You  _collapsed_ , Jackie, that's what's wrong."

"I know, baby," she says, trying to sit up. Hyde pushes her back down. "And I know why."

Hyde freezes.

"You do?"

"Of course I do." She tries to sit up again and he lets her. "The doctor told me last month, but with all the stress of the wedding and coming here and everything, I didn't want to add onto it."

_Oh._

Jackie takes one look at his face and comes to the wrong conclusion.

"The doctor told you, didn't he?" She squeezes his hand, smiling reassuringly. "Look, Steven, I know we haven't really talked about it—"

_Oh no._

"—but I'm really confident about this—"

"Jackie—"

"—and I really think this will be good for us—"

"Jackie,  _stop_."

Her smile shrinks.

"You… you don't want this." She states it more than asks and Hyde doesn't know how to tell her that the truth is so much worse.

"No, baby, that's not it." He wants to pull her to him, wants to hide her from the world, but she deserves more than that, deserves to have him look her in the eyes.

(He very badly does not want to look her in the eyes.)

"There's just…." He pauses. Swallows. Tries again. "There's something I have to tell you."

"What's wrong?" she asks. Her expression is changing, becoming confused and then concerned and then frantic. "Is something wrong with the baby?"

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Kelso is being x-rayed. Fez is calling Brooke. Donna is pacing again. The Formans cluster together.

A guttural scream echoes through the hospital.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Fourteen**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger warning:** Jackie suffers an non-graphic miscarriage.
> 
>  **Brief summary: _1987_** — The others are told Jackie’s condition is stable. Hyde feels guilty about not noticing her symptoms sooner. After approximately a day of worrying, Hyde is pulled aside and told Jackie suffered poisoning by eye drops, which reacted negatively to a medication she had been on, causing her symptoms and a miscarriage. Hyde had not known she was pregnant. 
> 
> He remembers Kelso’s penchant for pranks and that he carried around eye drops for his daughter, and attacks him for poisoning Jackie. Kelso admits to adding eye drops to Hyde’s mashed potatoes and Jackie’s drink the night before, claiming it was so the three of them would be even after the married couple got explosive diarrhea, a common misconception about eye drop poisoning. Mrs. Forman informs everyone that eye drops are poison, and Kelso protests that he didn’t know. Hyde orders Kelso to stay away from him and Jackie and goes to tell her about the miscarriage. Jackie _had_ known she was pregnant and is devastated.
> 
>  ** _1978_** — Jackie insists she’s going crazy waiting for the other shoe to drop and that she’s running away, whether Hyde will go with her or not. Hyde says she’s not going anywhere without him, and she better give him a good reason for them to both leave or he’ll tie her to something until he can tell everyone what they did so she won’t be so stressed about it. Jackie points out that Hyde won’t be able to distract himself by worrying about her when he’ll have too much to deal with, worrying about himself once the truth gets out and the others turn on him. She says it’ll be easier for both of them if they just run away somewhere and start over. Hyde agrees and tells her to give him one hour to get ready.
> 
>  **A/N:** This chapter was _so much easier to write!!_ Even with all the goddamn research I had to to into eye drop poisoning and bad medication interactions and it’s probably still inaccurate but I tried my best, y’all, I really did. I am not a doctor or chemist or anyone who would know the proper places to find such info so….
> 
> Also, eye drops are VERY MUCH TOXIC. THEY ARE NOT A PRANK MATERIAL. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO USE THEM AS SUCH.
> 
> Anyway!
> 
> There should be 1-2 chapters left, by my estimate, and then onto the sequel! Don’t count on that happening very soon, though, bc I have to do a lot of time-lining and such before I can start on that properly. Also, do not take the speed at which this was posted as a sign of me handling my shit quicker. I’m not. I’ve just been writing this part mentally since before I started typing this story out.
> 
> See y’all next chapter!


	16. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, everything is written purely from research, so it might not be entirely accurate. Speaking of “not entirely accurate”, I don’t know if Hyde’s El Camino has a backseat, but google says it shouldn’t, so I’m going with that.
> 
>  **Minor edits:** I went back through various chapters to add some more foreshadowing of Jackie’s pregnancy because I felt like there wasn’t enough before. I also made another minor edit that will be detailed in the end notes.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Jackie will be fine. A little weaker, a little sleepier, a little more susceptible to illness for the next month or so, but fine, according to the doctors.

They don’t know her like Hyde does.

He watches her sleep, exhausted and in pain, face red and sticky from crying, and he knows she will get better, but she won’t be fine. Not now. Not for a while.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Kelso stays away. It’s one of the smartest things he has ever done in his life and it comes far too late. He has several fractures in his cheekbone, his eye may never see the same way again, and his nose will need reconstructive surgery unless crooked noses come into fashion. Hyde hopes Kelso looks at himself in the mirror and knows how lucky he is.

Brooke picks Kelso up, Betsy in the back seat. Kelso tells his daughter he fought a bear. Brooke tells her daughter to get back in the car please. Betsy bounces up to Hyde.

“Is Aunt Jackie ok?”

Hyde freezes.

“Yeah, kitten, she’s fine,” he lies, his face as believable as it’s been for every other lie he’s told.

“Can I see her?”

“The doctors aren’t letting anyone in right now, but I’ll tell her you said hi.”

Betsy pulls out a piece of bright pink construction paper folded over into a card. Two stick figures are holding hands, a giant banner behind them proclaiming  _‘FUNLAND’_ and a small yellow blob labeled  _‘Fluffle Lu’_. Hyde opens it; the inside is filled with dog stickers, and the message  _‘GET WELL SOON’_ takes up the entire paper.

“Mommy said I couldn’t use glitter,” Betsy says. “It’s for Aunt Jackie, you’ll give it to her, right?”

“Of course, kitten,” Hyde promises.

Betsy pulls him into a hug, then skips away to her father.

“Come on, daddy, I left your card at home.” She grabs his hand and leads him away. Brooke offers a small wave and follows after them.

Kelso is  _so fucking lucky_ , and it’s  _not fair_ , he  _doesn’t deserve it—_

Would Hyde have had a daughter?

He goes to Jackie’s room.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

They won’t let her leave. With her poisoning and her blood pressure, they want to keep an eye on things, though Mrs. Forman says the female body has a way of dealing with this on its own.

Jackie is weak and vulnerable to infection; the doctors want to be sure everything… clears out.

They give her pills — little white tablets, perfectly round and nonthreatening and he hates them, hates that they exist and why — and they tell her she does not need them, that her body can handle itself with just a few more days, but she demands them, threatens to storm the pharmacy if she cannot have them, and they relent. She takes two and locks herself in the bathroom. She comes out hours later, the toilet unflushed, her face slack and empty, and a nurse disappears into the restroom as Hyde leads Jackie back to bed.

He holds her; she lays limp in his arms; she falls asleep again. The nurse comes up to him.

“Mr. Hyde, is there a specific way you’d like us to handle the remains?”

Hyde is so glad Jackie is not awake for this.

“Just….” He doesn’t know, doesn’t know what’s their standard, doesn’t know what they offer, and he can’t find the breath in him to ask. He doesn’t  _want_ to know, doesn’t want to know any of this, doesn’t want to know  _anything at all_ but they need an answer and he cannot let them ask Jackie. “Do what you usually do.”

He cannot do this, cannot hold these responsibilities  _and_ his wife  _and_ his grief  _and_ what remains of what once was theirs. It’s gone. He cannot hold it. He must cling to what things he can.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

They tell him the fetal tissue will be cremated. They tell him they will use an ultrasound machine to make sure all of it came out. They tell him Jackie will need to take vitamin supplements, antibiotics,  _tranquilizers_ ,  _anything_ to keep her healthy and calm, and nothing they do will ever work because nothing will make this ok and nothing will make her feel better and it’s  _not fucking fair_.

How small will the urn be?

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hyde refuses to leave the hospital. He barely leaves the room. They have a revolving door of visitors and Jackie speaks to none of them.

Fez brings food and toiletries. Eric and Donna bring music and magazines. Red brings the Camino and their bags from the motel, and Mrs. Forman wrangles her way into supplying Jackie’s medicine, quietly explaining what each pill and injection does as she applies it.

_“This is to boost your immune system. This fights off germs. This will keep you hydrated until the nausea passes.”_

No one brings up Kelso. No one brings up Jackie’s state. Hyde isn’t even sure they know about what should’ve been, isn’t sure he hadn’t interrupted that conversation when he’d tried to kill one of his oldest friends, and he doesn’t want to ask. He  _can’t_ ask, can only force sound when answering a question, when lying about his state of mind, when all is silent except for the beeps of a machine and the breathing of his still mute wife.

He doesn’t know what nonsense he whispers to her, what crap his mouth comes up with when his mind stops paying attention, but he hopes it’s comforting. He hopes he says something worth listening to.

He hopes Jackie is listening.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Hyde wanders the halls. Jackie is asleep and he needs to stretch his legs and maybe if he walks long enough, maybe he’ll outpace the horror, just a little bit, a little while, five minutes of peace.

Eric finds him, falls into step, and says nothing as they lap the building. Says nothing as they reach Jackie’s room again. Says nothing as Mrs. Forman steps out, smiles weakly, pats Hyde’s shoulder and pulls Eric away.

Hyde watches them go, her hand resting placidly on his arm, his arm firm on the small of her back, not knowing who is leading who, not sure if they even know, if they just have faith that they’re heading for the same destination.

Would Hyde have had a son?

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

“Did they know?” Like the pounding of a fist on a hollow wall, the words echo through the room, the first words Jackie has said in twenty-nine hours, forty-two minutes, eleven, twelve, thirteen seconds.

(The last nurse had left hours before, taking an ultrasound machine and leaving an assurance that everything was gone. They didn't speak the entire time, didn't look at the machine, didn't ask any questions. The nurse pressed something to Jackie's stomach, watched the screen for a few minutes, and left. It had taken less than an hour, and had dragged on for centuries.)

Hyde tightens his hold on Jackie's hand and leans over to meet her eyes, but she does not turn her head.

“Know what?”

“That I was pregnant.” Her voice breaks. Her expression does not.

“No, Jackie,” Hyde tells her. “No, no one knew.”

 _(“How did I not know?_ I should’ve known _.”_

_“Sometimes there aren’t any symptoms, Steven. Sometimes, the woman doesn’t even know until their pants don’t fit or they miss their period. It’s not like she was throwing up every morning and complaining about swollen feet.”_

_“No, she just stopped drinking coffee, flushed my cigarettes, and swapped out her sleeping pills for lavender pouches.”_

_“Steven—”_

_“I should’ve known.”)_

“Why did they do this to us, Steven?” she says more than asks. “And why won’t they go away?”

“Because they care about you.”

“ _Then they should’ve stopped him!”_ She finally faces him, her lips twisted into something ugly, her eyes narrowed into something dangerous, and Hyde realizes he is missing something key to the conversation.

“Who’s ‘they’?”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Hyde watches as Jackie and Kelso’s conversation seems to wrap up, watches her look around for him…._

_…Jackie finally spots them and stands…._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

“ _They_ ,” she says insistently. “They were there. They  _must’ve seen_.”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_…Jackie skirts around the dance floor…._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

“Doll, what are you  _talking_ about?”

“They must’ve seen Kelso put that stuff in our food.” Her eyes meet his, bloodshot and swollen, angry and wild. “There’s no way they didn’t.”

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_…Donna and Fez have returned to the table…._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

He doesn’t want to know.

He  _doesn’t_ want to know.

He doesn’t  _want_ to know.

He doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t wanttoknow.He doesn’t wantto knowhedoesn’twanttoknowhedoesn’twanttoknowhedoesn’t—

Haven’t they lost enough already? Their homes, their names,  _their_ — What use did the world have for their friendships? Why did the universe want to break something so delicately pieced back together? Was one relationship irreparably destroyed not enough for whatever sick God ran the show?

_Hyde doesn’t want to know._

_(When did they get to the table?)_

He can’t stand the thought of another betrayal.

_(Did they see?)_

He can’t take the idea of more grief.

_(Did they care?)_

Jackie takes her sedative. Jackie goes to sleep. Jackie is oblivious to Hyde slipping out the door, to Hyde slipping into the car, to Hyde driving to the furthest corner of the parking lot and screaming and screaming and screaming and falling silent again. His head rests on the steering wheel. Their bags, still packed and miraculously un-stolen, are in the bed. A tube of mascara is in the cup holder. A red pot leaf hangs from the rear view mirror.

Leo had given it to him, that night so long ago when Hyde had gone to the Foto Hut hoping to swipe some cash for bus tickets and had found his boss passed out under the counter. Leo had listened to Hyde babble about  _trouble_ and  _going crazy_ and  _have to leave_  and given him the keys to a 1967 El Camino he only occasionally remembered he had.

 _“Take good care of her, man,”_ Leo had said, passing Hyde one of his many stoner pendants. Hyde hadn’t known if Leo had meant the car or Jackie and he’d had no time to ask, and now, years later, Leo is long gone from Point Place and Hyde hopes he’d meant the car because he really doesn’t want to have failed at something else.

_(Did Donna and Fez know about the eye drops?)_

Hyde glances at their bags again and moves the car back to the front of the lot.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

“Mr. Hyde?”

He’s almost past the reception desk when a nurse stops him.

“Yeah?”

She passes him a slip of paper.

“Here’s the details for the funeral home that did the cremation,” she says, very young and teary-eyed and not quite jaded yet. “We’re all very sorry for your loss.”

Hyde is starting to hate that fucking phrase.

He looks at the card.  _Open 24 Hours._

“Excuse me.”

The paper goes in his pocket. He goes back to the car.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Four minutes.

_He was over the speed limit, but it couldn’t be helped. He was cutting it too close, and he didn’t want to know what Jackie would do if he didn’t make it back within the hour._

_The Camino ran great._

“Hyde, man, you’re like the son I never had.”

“I’m pretty sure you mentioned that you have a son.”

“Yeah, but you’re the son I  _never_ had.”

_Leo must’ve been working on her for a while, if she worked this well after god only knew how long in his garage. How had Leo forgotten an entire car? How did he have enough stuff to bury it?_

“I found it last week—”

“I was there.”

“—and I want you to have it.”

Three minutes.

_It gave him enough time to get to the Formans’ for his emergency cash, most of his clothes, and every single music album he could carry. He’d wanted to call, wanted to tell Jackie to give him just a little more time, but he wasn’t sure if she’d listen to him, wasn’t sure she wouldn’t just take it as him stalling, especially since he’d considered that exact thing on the walk to the Foto Hut._

_He had to make it._

_The houses started to look nicer and Hyde slowed down. Cops barely cared this late, but what little damn they managed to muster up was always given in the nice neighborhood. He could_ not  _get pulled over._

“You’ll be fine, kid. I did the exact same thing you’re doing, but I did it on accident, and I’m not as smart as you. You’ll be fine.”

“...Thanks, man.”

Two minutes.

_He was almost there. They were almost gone. Just two more minutes._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

The urn is a necklace. It’s small —  _impossibly_ small — in the shape of a heart with a teddy bear etched in the front and a chain fed through the top.

Hyde is afraid to touch it.

The woman who’d fetched it for him politely sets it on the counter and walks away. She is very practiced in this type of thing.

 _Is it real silver?_ Hyde thinks inanely.  _Do they do this for every—_  

Even in his mind, he chokes on the word, unable to process the situation. Like all people, Hyde knows terrible things happen, and like all people, he can’t fathom it happening to him, to his family, to what family he should have had. He’s grown soft, no longer waiting for new shoes to drop, safe and happy in his little apartment with his little wife. He doesn’t want to go back to that constant state of tension but  _fuck_ he doesn’t ever want to feel like this again.

_It’s so small._

He’s a second away from throwing up. He’s  _always_ a second away from throwing up, from throwing  _something_ , from collapsing into two hundred pounds of worthless flesh just waiting for the buzzards to call. It feels like something inside of him is trying to escape and he just  _doesn’t know what_ , he just knows he wants to stop it.

Hyde tentatively reaches out a finger and traces the pendant. His hand dwarfs it.

_It’s so. Fucking. Small._

How much of it is the urn and how much is…?

This is all there is. This is all there will ever be. This is what he has and it  _isn’t enough_ , it will _never be enough_ , but it’s _all he **fucking has** and—_

He picks it up. It weighs nothing. It  _is_  nothing.  _His child_ is  _nothing_ , just ashes in his palm.

His fingers close around it, tight and trembling, and  _finally_ , he breaks.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**End Chapter Fifteen**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Did Fez and Donna know?_ Who can say! On one hand, there’s no telling when they got back to the table, Jackie just knows they got there before she, Hyde, and Eric did. They very easily could have returned after Kelso poisoned the food. On the other hand, they thought it was a simple prank. Kelso had done the prank before (see CH7 for a throwaway line about it), and they would have had no reason to think it would go so badly.
> 
> So did they know? That’s for _you_ to decide, because Hyde doesn’t want to know, We’ll re-explore this in the sequel.
> 
>  **Minor edit:** When Hyde is avoiding Jackie, I added that one of his tactics was helping Leo with his garage. I only just realized I forgot to add some explanation for why he had the El Camino dug up already.
> 
> Anyway, this took a lot of googling (I never knew that there are 24hr cremation centers), and again, probably not accurate about everything (not sure if a necklace is an option from a crematorium or if that’s something you have to special order — and those things exist, btw! Specifically for miscarriages and everything), so once more, feel free to correct me on anything.
> 
> Thank you _so much_ for the reviews! Every single one made me cry. Sorry this took so long, but I had a valid excuse this time! I was on vacation, visiting my sister and her family out of state. This was actually supposed to come out a lot sooner, but I had to postpone writing the ending because of the visit.
> 
>  _One chapter left!_ Maybe two, but not likely. _We’re almost there!!!_


	17. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To whoever recommended this story to my _favorite fucking T7S author, MistyMountainHop_ (also _those70scomics_ and _thestupidhelmet_ on tumblr), _THANK YOU!!!!!!!!_
> 
> My dudes, I am so sorry, I did _not_ plan this part properly (well I kinda sorta did but what I had planned doesn’t work anymore) and also I got swept the fuck up in _BBC Merlin_ again and my mind went working overtime on 3 different AUs for that shit so it’s been a challenge dragging it back to _T7S_ where I need it to be and that was a _bitch_ to do so here we are.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

There's something therapeutic, almost, in how he breaks down. He doesn't feel any better, doesn't feel happy, but he's not so completely miserable, not so horribly numb. There's a calmness, now, as he slips the chain around his neck and quietly leaves, a signed slip confirming the pick up laying on the desk.

He takes the long way back to the hospital. This is therapeutic, too, this time away from the same four walls. They're too white. The darkness of the streets, of the trees, the streetlights that shine on his rings, his watch, his tattoos, on and off and on and off, it's soothing. It's healing. He needs this. The radio is low, the moon is full, the night is long. The hospital is approaching.

The tenseness comes back, the sickness and the weight, but it's easier to bear, now. This, he can carry.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Jackie isn't talking, but she's reacting, and that's enough for Hyde. She eats without prompting. She goes for walks through the halls. She isn't afraid to go to the bathroom.

Their child's ashes hang heavy around his neck.

Hyde isn't sure what to do about it, isn't sure what to tell her or how, only that it feels like it's weighing down on him, only that the urn was made for one. Will Jackie want to wear it? Would she be able to stand it? Would it weigh her down, too?

It presses on him, keeping him on the ground, but also pushing him deeper, sinking him into the dirt. It keeps him here, in this moment, in this hospital with his wife, not  _wanting_ to move, but also unable. He doesn't know if it's burden or gift that he keeps from her, but he knows he can't give it up, not just yet.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Hyde pulled up to the Burkhart Manor with barely a minute to spare and found Jackie piling bags into the Lincoln her parents had left behind._

_"Steven!" she called as the car came to a stop. She ran up to hug him as he climbed out. "I was getting worried. Where'd you get the car?"_

_"Leo," Hyde answered. "I got my clothes and music, let's get your stuff in the back and get the hell out of here."_

_"_ Steven— _" Hyde stopped pulling bags from the Lincoln and turned back to Jackie. "—are you sure you want to do this?"_

_"Second thoughts already?" He went back to moving her luggage._

_"No," she insisted, following after him as he tossed a suitcase in the bed. "I want to leave, and I want you to come with me, I just…. I don't want you to resent me later."_

_"Jackie…."_

_"Please don't resent me later, Steven."_

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

They're almost free to go. The doctor says Jackie's healing is on track, that she'll still be weak and sickly, but well enough to go. She can be seen on an outpatient basis as soon as the doctor clears her. Jackie is waiting for one last examination when a nurse tells Hyde that the others have arrived. It's later in the day than usual, their normal lives having held them up, and Hyde doesn't know who all is waiting for them, but he  _does_  know that Jackie can't see Donna or Fez. He doesn't want to leave Jackie alone. He has to.

"Doll, I've got business. You gonna be ok if I step out?" he asks, hand light on her bicep, thumb stroking her arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she says. She smiles. It's weak, but it's there.

"You sure?"

"Steven, I'm a big girl." She kisses his cheek. He kisses her forehead. He steps out into the hallway where Mrs. Forman and Fez wait.

Mrs. Forman is holding a  _Contempo Casuals_  bag. She happily pulls out a red dress with sunflowers, and Fez appears over her shoulder with two boxes.

" _Ta-da!"_ they cheer, smiling widely at Hyde's blank look.

"We know Jackie has her own clothes in your car," Mrs. Forman says, "but we thought having a new outfit might… well… make things slightly less depressing."

"Nothing says 'moving forward' like a new look!" Fez pulls out a pair of brown sandals and a sunhat and holds them over the dress, gesturing thematically at the image they present.

Hyde wants to punch him.

"' _Moving forward'?_ "

"Maybe not the best way to say that."

"Say it the best way," Hyde challenges and Mrs. Forman immediately snatches the accessories from Fez and shoves the outfit into his hands.

"Anyway, these are for Jackie," she says, patting at his arms like she's attempting to smother a fire. "Now she won't have to dig through her bags for clothes when she's discharged."

"Well, thank you, but she's not getting discharged yet," Hyde says, not quite sure what lie he's spinning even as he tells it.

"What?" Mrs. Forman asks, blinking innocently. "Chaz said she should be cleared by this afternoon."

"That's what we thought, too." Hyde doesn't know why this is the lie he's chosen to tell, but he knows to tell it faster. "Jackie woke up feeling a little sick, though, so they want to keep her a bit longer to make sure it's not a symptom of something bigger."

"Oh." Mrs. Forman blinks again and looks at Fez. "Well… Fez works later, so I guess we'll just pop in  _now_ and—"

"She's not feeling up to visitors right now."

They stand there in silence. Nurses walk by. Fez shuffles awkwardly. A machine beeps loudly and footsteps rush away. Jackie's check up won't take long. Doctor Chaz will poke his head out at any minute and cheerfully tell him about his wife's clean bill of health. Mrs. Forman will strong arm her way into the room. Jackie will see Fez.

Hyde holds up the dress, still crumpled in his hand, and fixes the sandals in the crook of his elbow, the hat squished between them and his chest.

"I'll pass these along."

No one makes a move to leave, so Hyde takes a step back towards Jackie's room, staring them down until they take the hint and turn away.

"We'll stop by later," Mrs. Forman calls behind her as she and Fez walk off.

"Sounds good," Hyde calls back. They turn a corner right as the door behind him cracks open.

"Mr. Hyde," says Doctor Chaz, "if you'll just step back inside, we'll go over the outpatient instructions."

Hyde looks down at Fez and Mrs. Forman's gifts and wonders what Jackie will think of them, wonders if he should give them to her at all. He tucks the outfit under his arm and returns to his wife.

They are almost gone.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_Jackie was easy to resent. It was a terrible thing to admit, but it was true. Hyde had done it for years without thought and could slip into it again with the right prompting. Jackie was shallow and rich and mean and bossy. Jackie was everything Hyde hated._

_And she was_ so fucking easy  _to care about_ _._

_She had a way about her, of making you like her, making you want to look out for her, of sneaking under your skin even when she herself didn't mean to. Even when he resented her, he never would've hurt her, not truly. Even before they were friends, Hyde would've knocked out anyone who made her cry._

_He'd once called her a trap, and he stood by that, but she was an obvious one. Her big eyes, her short stature, her bright smile, they all drew you in close. Everyone noticed the bait, everyone knew what it was, and everyone fell for it anyway._

_Eric called her Satan and stood by her when she thought she was pregnant._

_Donna complained about her constantly and spoke to her about everything._

_Hyde used every moment to insult her and took her to prom._

_She was easy to resent, and impossible to hate, and Hyde didn't know what to call that, didn't know if what he felt made any sense at all, but he knew she was one of the few things he'd ever had that he wanted to hold on to. Somehow, she didn't want him to let go._

_He cupped her face in his hands._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

Jackie passes off the hat to the nurse who brings them their discharge paperwork.

"Give these to the woman down the hall with the bad haircut, she needs the hat more than I do," she says as she trades the clothes for the nurse's clipboard. "Also, tell her to fire her hairdresser."

"Yes, ma'am." The nurse flashes a tight smile and leaves. Jackie strips off her hospital gown and digs through the small bag Hyde had packed for her earlier.

"What are you going to do with the shoes?"

"The woman next door has some really bitchy relatives, and I think she'll be happier if she has something pretty to wear."

Jackie sees no irony in her words as she pulls the ugliest jacket Hyde has every seen — a neon pink monstrosity he'd spent twenty minutes trying and failing to convince her not to buy — over her  _CHOOSE LIFE_ t-shirt.

"And the dress?"

Jackie pauses. What about the dress? It's pretty, something she would've picked out herself, and they're really not in a state to turn down free stuff, but Fez helped pick it out. Mrs. Forman had bought it, but Fez had pointed her to it. Did that make it tainted, too?

"...I don't know yet."

Worn jeans with tightly-rolled cuffs, high-top sneakers, a quick swipe of lipgloss, and Jackie looks like her usual self again to all but Hyde's knowing eyes. She holds herself a little smaller, her stance a little weaker, her smile stops just shy of true, but she is up and dressed and responding and speaking and packing away the little red sundress with her toiletries and her magazines and her outpatient care plan.

She picks up the shoes and he picks up her bag and their fingers thread together, fitting as perfectly as they always have, and they leave the room for the last time.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_She was warm despite the weather, and she fit perfectly in his hands. He wasn't sure what he was doing or why, but he wasn't about to question it._

_He pressed his mouth to the corner of hers. It didn't feel like a kiss, not really, just a brush of skin on skin no more intimate than when he put his arm across her shoulders or she leaned into his side, but it seemed to tell her something he couldn't say aloud._

_It wasn't love. He didn't know much, but he knew that. It_ wasn't  _love… but it could be. With the right prompting._

_Uncharacteristically, Jackie didn't push her luck, didn't try to make him talk about things he wasn't ready for. She just smiled, picked up a bag, and continued loading. He grabbed a bag, too, and followed._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

So much had changed in the past decade; the hospital had gained a new wing, Bargain Bob's is long gone, and Mrs. Forman is much better at planning surprises.

Everyone, sans Kelso and Fez, is crowded around the El Camino, holding filled Tupperwares and stuffed animals and gift baskets stocked with baked goods. Mrs. Forman's smile quickly fades when she sees them.

"Did the dress not fit?"

"What are you doing here?" Hyde demands. Jackie is frozen, staring in horror at the group. Hyde steps in front of her. "I told you she wasn't being released yet."

"I know…." Mrs. Forman speaks slowly, her face not sure what expression it should be making, flipping between her signature smile and her signature frown. Her hands hold a container of cookies. The others shift their feet awkwardly. This is not the greeting they'd expected. "I asked Chaz about it and he said there must have been a miscommunication, that Jackie was being released today."

"That's a HIPPA violation."

"Steven, what's going on?" Red asks. He's sounds as if he already knows.

"They're leaving," Donna answers him before Hyde can. "Aren't you?" She turns from Red to glare at them. "You were just going to take off without saying anything?  _Again?"_

"Neither of us is in the mood to be around people right now," Hyde bites out, carefully guiding Jackie around to the unblocked side of the car. If he can just get  _something solid_ between her and the others…. "Sorry if that upsets you." He's cautious, slow, determined not to let them into Jackie's line of sight.

"We understand that, Steven—"

"No you don't." Hyde doesn't think he's ever cut Mrs. Forman off before, but the words come out before he can register them. He takes one look at her shocked face and decides to hell with it. He continues; "How could you  _possibly_ understand? We  _lost_ —"

Jackie buries her hands in the back of his jacket and the words die in his throat. He can't say them in front of her, not when she is so obviously in no state to hear them.

"Something was stolen from us," he says instead. He feels Jackie's head rest against his back, hears a choked sob, sees their pitying faces. "You don't understand. You  _can't_."

He stares at each of them in turn, but they all look away. He doesn't care. He doesn't care how discomfited they are, how much they don't want to be there anymore, how much they wish he'd just played nice for their own convenience. Their comfort is not his concern, and he refuses to make it so.

The tension is palpable, growing with each quiet cry Jackie bites back, each step he takes to the car door, each second no one meets his eyes. He feels Jackie regain control of herself and step back, one hand still twisted in his jacket, the other quietly sneaking his car keys out of his pocket as they edge closer to the Camino.

"You're right," Mrs. Forman finally agrees. "I don't understand and neither does anyone else, but is isolating yourself going to make anything better?"

She sets the cookies on the roof of the car and makes her way to them. They're close,  _so close_ , to the passenger door, and Hyde considers making a break for the door for the split second it takes him to realize that Jackie wouldn't move with him.

"You two need to stay  _here_ , with your  _family_." Mrs. Forman lays one hand against his face, and Hyde vaguely registers as the others put their offerings in the bed and step closer. Hyde watches Red place a well worn, well maintained tool kit by their luggage, a bright yellow bow tied around the handle, and wonders if that is somehow tainted, too, wonders why everyone won't just  _go away._

" _Don't touch me!"_

_Jackie._

Hyde curses himself for his distraction and turns to see his wife, backed away against the car, and a bewildered Donna, one arm up as if to wrap around Jackie's shoulders.

"What? What did I do?" she asks, holding her hands up in submission, loooking around at the others for some type of sign. Jackie's feet are planted, her stance steady, and she holds one hand up to fend the other woman off while the other reaches back with the keys, blindly fumbling for the lock.

"Don't touch me," Jackie repeats, her voice hard and clear.

The key finally finds the lock, but she still doesn't take her eyes off Donna as she slides it in. Eric slowly edges toward the women and gently reaches for his girlfriend, pulling her away. Donna steps back without complaint.

"Everyone just back up." They move away from the car. Hyde wraps himself around Jackie: one arm going around her waist, his free hand reaching for the keys, a leg in front of her, always prepared to shield her again. He unlocks the door and nudges Jackie to the side to open it. "Mrs. Forman," he says, ignoring for the moment how Jackie still doesn't look away from the redhead, "we're not going to be alone. We have people in Indianapolis. We are  _going home._ "

"But—"

"Why are you looking at me like that?" It's apparently the day to cut off Mrs. Forman, as Donna snaps out of her shock to finally register Jackie's expression. It's a genuine question, not an accusation or a demand, but Jackie straightens up for a fight, anyway. "What did I do?" The car door is open, but Jackie doesn't move. Hyde pushes her, gently, but her stance is firm. Her jaw is locked. She rubs her fingers together, plays with the seams on her pants, and Donna doesn't see the danger. "Jackie?"

"What did you do?" Jackie's voice bends, but does not break, emphasizing all the wrong words, her tone shifting the question into something between mockery and heartache. Hyde looks at her eyes, already red and raw, and lets go of the door to pull her head to him, placing a kiss in her hair and burying his nose in the ringlets. She sags in his arms, and he tries to place her in the car again. "What did you  _do?"_ She still doesn't move. "What di—  _What did you_ ** _do_** _? What did you do what did you— What did you FUCKING DO—_ "

She lunges for Donna, who jumps back in surprise. Hyde holds tight to her as she struggles in his hold, mindless of the swinging limbs and clawing fingers.

" _What did you do?"_ she snarls, trying to use the car as leverage to break free. Red moves forward to help restrain her, but Hyde warns him back. " _Let's start with what you_ ** _didn't_** _fucking do, huh? Let's start with that! You_ didn't  _give a fuck when Michael cheated on me, even though you knew he could've given me something, you didn't try to stop him from hitting on me because you cared more about interrogating us, you didn't keep your_ ** _fucking_** _lumberjack hands off my husband, and_ ** _you_** _didn't stop Michael from KILLING MY BABY!"_

The words drag the fight out of her, but she does not fall. Hyde tightens his grip, anyway. Mrs. Forman steps forward and Hyde waves her off. She retreats to Red's arms.

"What are you talking about?" Eric steps in front of Donna, and Hyde doesn't know if it's to protect her or restrain her, not sure where Donna's expression will settle as it wars between confusion and outrage.

"Jackie, get in the car."

"No." She tries to shove his hand off, but he doesn't budge. She tries to take a step forward, and he stops her in her tracks.

"Jackie, please—"

" _No._ "

" _Just_ —"

" _NO, goddamn it!"_ She pushes at his arm again and he drops his hold. It's past the point where his presence can help calm her. Hyde rarely sees her like this. It's never pretty. Jackie turns to Eric. "Donna was at the table before we got there, Donna and Fez," she explains, staring him down. "They had to have seen."

"What are you accusing me of?" Donna settles on rage and steps close to Eric's back.

"You  _know_ what I'm accusing you of, now admit it!" Jackie yells at her. She reaches past Eric, and he tries to hold her off, but Jackie is stronger than him and pushes him to the ground. Hyde helps him back up, and Jackie screams again; " _Admit what you did!"_

" _I didn't do anything, you psycho!"_ Donna shoves her and Hyde has her pinned against a truck before anyone else moves. " _Get off me!"_ She shoves at him, too, and he slams her against the truck again.

" _You don't fucking touch my wife._ "

Red and Eric pull him away, and Donna straightens out her clothes, glaring at him and Jackie in turn.

"Baby, please, just get in the car."

"I didn't know Kelso put eyedrops in your food," Donna says as Jackie finally climbs into the passenger seat. Hyde closes the door and makes his way to the driver's side.

Jackie rolls down her window.

"I don't believe that," she tells them. "I don't think I ever will."

"Steven, please, we can figure this out," Mrs. Forman insists, holding tight to his shoulders as he opens his door. "We can all talk this through—"

"Because that worked out so well."

"—just  _stay here_ ," she begs. "We'll get through this, all of us,  _together_. You two  _need_ a support system."

"We have one back home."

" _This_ is your home."

 _She won't stop trying to fix things,_  Hyde realizes.  _And she won't stop trying to keep us here._

Mrs. Forman will never turn away Donna or Fez. Ever. She'll never let Hyde and Jackie disappear on her again. She'll take all her tremendous willpower and she'll use it to try and force them all back into one big happy family and it  _won't work_. Jackie can't take it. She's already in so much pain, she wouldn't be able to deal with this on top of it.

Kitty Forman is his mother, the only real mother he's ever known, Red is the first father he's ever known, Eric is is brother, Donna is his friend, and he  _loves_ them, he loves them  _so much_ , and he loves Jackie  _so much more_. He can't keep all of them, and unlike Mrs. Forman, he won't try to.

No one is near the car except him and Mrs. Forman, so he quietly walks her back to her husband, and quietly returns to his wife.

_She'll never let us go._

"Steven,  _please_."

_Unless I make her._

"Me and Jackie are the reason Laurie left."

Hyde climbs into the car and drives off. No one stops him.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1978**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

_The car was quiet. The music was low. The street was dark. Jackie's fingers intertwined with his by the gearshift._

_"I can't believe we're doing this," Jackie said, her face nervous, but her voice tinged with excitement. "This is so_ crazy _!"_

_"You knew I was crazy going into this, doll."_

_"Yeah, I did, huh?" Her hand squeezed his. "…What is this, by the way?"_

_"...I dunno," Hyde admitted. "But I'm open to finding out." He glanced at her and grinned, and she smiled back, her perfect porcelain teeth the brightest thing in the car. "So where're we going?"_

_"Dunno," she said, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. "But I'm open to finding out."_

_Hyde glanced at her again and turned back to the road just as they reach city limits. The end. The beginning._

_He let go of her hand, kissed the top of her head, switched gears, and took off. Their taillights faded. They were gone._

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**1987**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

"We can never go back."

"We shouldn't have gone back in the first place."

Their fingers intertwine by the gearshift. Hyde's thumb strokes soothingly over the back of Jackie's hand.

"Maybe," Jackie concedes, "but now we  _really_ can't go back, and I know you did that because of me, and I'm  _really sorry_."

"Doll, that wasn't you, that was them, ok?" He pulls at her hand until she lays on his shoulder. He kisses the top of her head. "They just wouldn't let it go."

They're on the highway, long past the city limits, no chance of being followed. Hyde doesn't know how he feels about that. Jackie shakes her head.

"I don't think I can go back there."

"And we won't."

"I mean go back to Indianapolis." She lets go of his hand and curls around his arm. "I don't think I can go to my doctor, my teachers, my  _boss_ , and tell them why I won't be as peppy as usual…. I don't know how to tell them…."

"Then I'll do it."

"I don't think I can deal with the looks."

"Then you won't have to go." Their exit comes up. Hyde drives past it.

"Steven?" Jackie knows the route as well as he does.

"Not to run away," Hyde tells her. "Not to find a new home, not again." The car is loud, the whooshing of the wind through a cracked window filling the space between them. Prince and the Revolution blasts through the speakers. The street is bright. "Just a getaway. We'll be gone a week. Hell, a  _month_ , we deserve it." He glances at her, at her expression, and tries to read her mind. "We'll be back in time for the wedding." He's not sure if her lips are trying to smile or not, but he'd be confident betting on 'yes'. "Come on, Jackie, what do you say?"

She huffs, the sound only  _just_ the right side of a laugh.

"Where would we even  _go?"_

"No idea," Hyde says, "But don't you want to find out?"

It had solved all of their problems last time. Maybe it can solve them, now.

Jackie smiles. It's still not her usual smile, still too small, too pale, but it's more than she'd been willing to give for the past three days.

"Let's do it, puddin'."

She slaps a messy kiss onto his cheek, turns the radio up, and starts to sing along.

" _You just leave it all up to me, we could have a good time! Don't have to be rich, to be my girl, don't have to be cool, to rule my world…._ "

Her singing is as awful as ever, and Hyde can't possibly love her more.

" _Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with, I just want your extra time and your_ —" She drums on the dashboard and plants another sloppy kiss on him as Prince continues to sing.

 _Maybe this won't fix anything,_ he thinks as Jackie pokes at him until he sings along, too.  _Maybe we'll get back home and feel just as shitty as we did two minutes ago, maybe this is just a band-aid._ This is the most lively he's seen Jackie since she woke up at the hospital, maybe even since they'd showed up at the Formans' in the first place.  _But I'm open to finding out._

They're gone.

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**END**

**-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who didn't reread everything four times like she prefers? _This bitch!_ Once again, please point out any mistakes you see, and thank you for reading.
> 
> This story went very differently, originally. _Very_ differently. It ended the same, but Hyde and Jackie didn’t leave until _Jackie Bags Hyde_. They _did_ hook up and gradually fall in love, much like their canon beginnings in Season 5, but it was while Jackie was still “dating” Kelso. The arrest never happened, and they left because someone -- I hadn’t decided who, but I was leaning toward Eric -- had caught them together and they ran away rather than deal with the fallout.
> 
> With more time and material to work with, I’d planned to delve more into Hyde and Jackie’s home lives. Jackie would help Hyde deal with his issues instead of using humor to deflect (he literally _says_ Edna used to beat him and no one thought twice about it). Hyde would help Jackie grow as a person rather than keep her childlike aesthetic (I headcanon that as Jackie became older and less dependent on her parents, they pulled further away into their jobs, so Jackie still clings to unicorns and plushies and other such things as a reminder of the times her parents we still around).
> 
> I remember a post on tumblr about why it’s important to normalize loving your parents, because the complaints made by un-abused children make abused children believe their treatment is normal, and I was gonna explore that with Hyde and how jarring the Formans must have been when he moved in.
> 
> There were some throwaway comments about Bud, one of them by Eric, telling Hyde about how Bud had shown up at the Forman’s after Hyde/Jackie had left, drunk and demanding to know where they’d stashed his son until Red punched him out. Hyde told the story to Jackie, who asked if Bud had gotten over his gambling addiction. (He had not)
> 
> The point is, this plotline took me in a _very_ different direction than I had originally intended, I lost all control of everything, and I thank you all for taking this journey with me.
> 
>  **About The Sequel:** First off, it’s going to take a _long ass time_. This story took a long ass time, and that’s _with_ me having about 7chs written before posting. The sequel is going to take a good long while. I don’t know how long, but I’ve already sorted this story into a series — _Baby We’re On Fire_ — so you can subscribe.
> 
> Second, y’all know how I like to do my research, so I have a small request for anyone who feels like lending a hand. The sequel will be from Jackie’s POV, and of the things that separate me and Jackie, the two biggies are 1, I know jack shit about cars, and 2, I’ve never had a miscarriage. I don’t know how much car shit I’ll be putting in the sequel, but the miscarriage is a big part of the next story. If any of y’all know any good websites to give me some better insight to either topic, it’d be really appreciated.
> 
> Third, our lovebirds are clearly going on a road trip. The farthest north I’ve been is South Carolina. If y’all have any ideas where they should go, or any details about the surrounding areas that you feel I should know about, please send them to me! This isn’t restricted to Wisconsin/Indiana, you are welcome and encouraged to send info on the other surrounding states if you want to. I’m from Texas. Anything within 10hrs of driving is nothing to me. This trip occurs in early-to-mid October, btw, if that is relevant to any info any of you may feel like sharing.
> 
> Anyway, please be patient, and I will see y’all next time!

**Author's Note:**

> **I would like to take this time to go into some detail about the bullshit that is the T7S timeline and why I will be ignoring it. Here are the years of each season according to the wiki and why they’re wrong;**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  **Season 1** \- _1976-77_ \-- Eric’s birthday is March 5, but it’s supposed to be his 17th birthday. According to the wiki, he was born 1960. Eric’s birthday is episode 2. So it’s only 2 episodes in and already we’re in 1977. We hit Thanksgiving by episode 9, and Christmas by episode 12. We’ve reached a new year by episode 20, when Star Wars is released in May, but episode 23 is reportedly in 1976, going by Bernice Forman’s death date, December 12. So, let’s just say for argument’s sake that Eric was actually born in 1959 like Hyde was and Grandma Forman actually died in 1977, it’s still December by the season’s end, so the entirety of season 2 would have to be in a single month.
> 
>  
> 
>  **Season 2** \- _1977_ \-- Halloween is by episode 5. They’re barely into the season and already near the end of the year, and then there’s Red’s December birthday just 5 episodes after that. Episode 10 out of 26. Already to December 7th. Going by the previous season’s timeline, this season would have to be the second half of 1978, with the entire first half completely skipped over.
> 
>  
> 
>  **Season 3** \- _1977-78_ \-- there’s another Halloween in episode 4, despite it being past December at the beginning of the season. There’s then a Christmas episode just four episodes later. Then, because Kitty’s birthday is supposed to be Oct 13, the season makes it all the way to almost the end of the year by episode 17. It would be 1980 by this point, at least.
> 
>  
> 
>  **Season 4** \- _1978_ \-- this can’t take place exclusively in one year, there’s a Christmas episode half-way through and a Valentine’s mention a few episodes after that. Also, Hyde turns 18 in this season, even though the wiki has him born in 1959, thus making him 19. His birthday is in episode 23, but the wiki has him born November 28, once again bringing us to the end of the year. The timeline would make it 1981.
> 
>  
> 
>  **Season 5** \- _1978_ \-- Season 5 is both the summer before everyone’s (minus Jackie) senior year and the year they graduate. Also, the wiki says Jackie’s birthday is in September, but there’s a Valentine’s Day episode before her birthday episode. We would be well in to 1983 by now.
> 
>  
> 
>  **Season 6/7** \- I give up
> 
>  
> 
>  **Season 8** \- not in this house
> 
>  
> 
> In conclusion, just accept whatever I say when it comes to timelines.


End file.
